Too Soon?

Chapis · Jul 23, 2010

good question.

i am 27 and i have a three year old son. he's the love of my life, but if i were to do things differently i would have waited. for one, kids require tons of attention and time. it is a duable situation, but if you can hold on-on having a baby, i would.

concentrate in your studies, you only have yourself and your hubby to worry and think about. don't make your life harder by having a baby when you know babies are very needy.

you're still young and will still be young by the time you finish your absn.

i am really thinking long and hard about not having another kid.

i don't mean to highjack your thread but if i do have another one it will be after i finish my ns and after i have at least one year experience as an rn.

what does your hubby say besides wanting to start a family soon? will he be supportive of you if you want to wait?

let us know,

gaby

lmw99 · Jul 23, 2010

I do not have kids and couldnt be happier with my decision to wait. While I'm sure having kids is the best thing in the world, and one day I will find out, I would never want to put myself in a predicament like becoming pregnant. It's tough enough managing time for my live-in boyfriend, much less a baby. Nursing school is extremely time consuming and intensive. If anyone tells you otherwise, they are full of it.

Maladroit, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2010

Thank you so much for your response! He is very supportive of either decision I choose. He wants a family, so whenever it is, he'll be fine with that. He's so amazing, I couldn't ask for a better future hubby! I probably will wait...I'm scared to have morning sickness and ya know being exhausted is NOT a good thing to have in NS! haha, just want to get all sides from people that have been there. Thanks again!

Courtcatt · Jul 23, 2010

First off congrats on your engagement and getting into nursing school! That is so so exciting. Crazy to think how things just tend to fall into place huh? Although I don't have a child..I do have a lot of friends that do and one close friend that was pregnant her last year of nursing school. Best advice: WAIT. Your still so young and its best to be able to focus completely on school for the time being. SHe said it was really tough sometimes because of pains/getting sick/having a weak stomach during clinicals etc. I think she feels she missed out in a way because she couldn't put her full attention into being pregnant and relaxing :) Just my two cents :) Either way I'm sure you'll make a great nurse and a wonderful mother.

sparklie.lady · Jul 23, 2010

Congrats on engagement and nursing school!!!

I am also in an ASBN program with a fantastically supportive husband and a three-year-old daughter. It's possible. But let me tell you, I think you should wait. I sometimes go a couple of days without seeing my girl and barely seeing my husband. It's horrible and sad and I want to cry when she asks me why I have to go study when she wants to play.

I don't regret doing this--I stayed home with her for three years and feel this will best for her future.

BUT--if you have the choice (the only reason I didn't was b/c I had the baby BEFORE I decided to go back to school), wait. It will be better for your schooling, better for your marriage, and better for the baby!

Maladroit, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2010

Thank you everyone for the advice! Courtcatt, you're right, things do fall into place and I wouldn't want to screw all of that up by starting a family when it took me a year just to get INTO nursing school! Sparklie.lady, thanks for your firsthand experience. I'm sorry you have to go a few days without seeing your family, and I wouldn't want to put a new baby through that, it'll be worth the wait I'm sure. Thanks again ladies!

Donald11 · Jul 23, 2010

Please don't take this the wrong way, but why are therse so many pregnancy questions here? (Take in mid I'm a guy). Whether you want to have a child should be entirely between you and your spouse, not anonymous internet posters.

Maladroit, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2010

I was not asking anyone's permission to have a child. I have never been pregnant nor raised a child. I don't know anyone personally either to ask. I just wanted to know what I could expect, what other people who have gone through it and reccommend before I make my decision. I can't ask my fiance how hard it'll be, he wouldn't know. It is our business and our decision alone, but I'm allowed to get some insight and advice, so I make the best educated choice I can. Sorry if it's a repeat, I didn't mean to annoy anyone. If you see so many of them and clearly get annoyed, why don't you just skip over it and move on? Had I seen a thread like this I wouldn't have posted another one. I think it stands out more because you're a guy and it has no relavance to you. I can't believe you never ask anyones advice before making HUGE decisions in life, especially people that have made that decision already....hmm...

Chapis · Jul 23, 2010

so have you made up your mind?? (i'm nosy-sorry-i wanna know) :clown: :clown:

Maladroit, BSN, RN · Jul 23, 2010

HEHE, Chapis, you're too sweet. Yes, I believe I have. I was iffy to begin with, but yes, I will be waiting. For several reasons, I keep forgetting about the stress it would be putting on our marriage, he's supportive, but I'd rather wait until we can both enjoy a pregnancy and new baby! Definately the better option! Thanks for asking!

gumby1411 · Jul 23, 2010

I was debating the same thing. I'm a bit older than you, early 30's, and my husband and I are ready to start our family. I'm starting my ABSN program next month. Being my program is only a year, we've decided to put off getting pregnant. I've worked so hard to get accepted into the program that it's not worth having to drop out if complications with the pregnancy arise. It's a tough decision, but I think it's best to get your ducks in a row before bringing a baby into your world. Best wishes.