To set something straight

Your boyfriend is wrong. Yes, these are adults, but there is self abuse too. It is our duty to report a situation like this to APS. I'm not saying that anything will be done about the situation, but the nurse should report.

In home health you can also refer your social worker to go in and do an assessment...I would first refer to social services and then back the call made into APS. Also, I would notify the primary care physician of the facts and document everything. I'm not sure how AA works, if they would come in and try an intervention if a call was made into them?! If both these adults being mentally challenged, do they have case workers? If they do, perhaps a call to the state agency case workers could help?! I had one case where the patient was passed out and I found a bottle of pills spilled by an empty bottle of booze. I called 911 and it was reported to the police as an attempted suicide based on the facts. The police came out with EMS, took report from me. Based on all these facts the client was taken into the hospital, a pysch consult and detox rehab were ordered for the patient. Of course when he sobered up, he refused and continued on his unhappy way and ended up going to ER again, being placed in long term care where he died two weeks later. It's nursings job to assess, assist, report, treat, educate and document. By the way, it's none of my business, however, your boyfriend sounds abusive to me, not treating you with the respect that you deserve. Please take good care of yourself, abuse nevers gets better, it only gets worse. Best wishes and have a blessed Easter.

If you are a nurse involved in taking care of that patient, you are obligated to report the conditions the person is living in and anything that could be construed as abuse.

It hardly matters if they are both adults. If the husband was physically abusing the wife would you do nothing because they are adults?

PS. I agree with the previous poster about your boyfriend. He sounds abusive from what you said. Maybe that's why he is so against anyone reporting anything.

Thank you so much for the informative responses. I know I am on the right track in my thinking and rationale. That will never change. So far the most difficult time I've been having getting through my program is the boyfriend as you accurately guessed, has gotten more abusive since I started school. The same person who pushed 100% for me to go to nursing school and professed it is one of the best professions a woman can have. And now that a very sad and serious medical condition has been diagnosed on our beloved friend, he thinks I am throwing inaccurate, too far to be fetched untruths about what a nurse can and is capable of doing for a patient in their own home. He also doesn't think a PCP can be notified of the patients decline due to alcohol consumption or a caregiver/wife who can't see straight 90% of the time. This person has zero medical background or knowledge. In the heat of the argument I told him perhaps he needed to speak to some nurses who's specialty is home health or hospice. He will not take any information from me as the truth. Because to do so would mean him acknowledging that I am smart and only getting smarter. He must be getting angry with me that I am actually starting to sound and act like a nurse. Sad isn't it?

Thank you so much for the informative responses. I know I am on the right track in my thinking and rationale. That will never change. So far the most difficult time I've been having getting through my program is the boyfriend as you accurately guessed, has gotten more abusive since I started school. The same person who pushed 100% for me to go to nursing school and professed it is one of the best professions a woman can have. And now that a very sad and serious medical condition has been diagnosed on our beloved friend, he thinks I am throwing inaccurate, too far to be fetched untruths about what a nurse can and is capable of doing for a patient in their own home. He also doesn't think a PCP can be notified of the patients decline due to alcohol consumption or a caregiver/wife who can't see straight 90% of the time. This person has zero medical background or knowledge. In the heat of the argument I told him perhaps he needed to speak to some nurses who's specialty is home health or hospice. He will not take any information from me as the truth. Because to do so would mean him acknowledging that I am smart and only getting smarter. He must be getting angry with me that I am actually starting to sound and act like a nurse. Sad isn't it?

You also need to check your states nurse practice act. Adult protection is quite different than child protection. In my state, nurses are mandated reporters for CHILD abuse only. Sure for adult abuse, we definitely SHOULD call APS but I'll tell you right now, in the situation you just described, they will probably not do a thing.

APS has less staff than CPS. And for the poster that said something about having AA come in. they don't do that. AA is voluntary and you must always go to a meeting. Its members are anonymous and unless they are already connected to an AA group and have phone numbers, there really isn't anyone for them to call. The 800 # would direct them to a local meeting.

The bottom line is with addiction/alcoholism, the addict is not going to get help until they want it.

Your BF sounds a lot like my EX-husband. Please take care of yourself and know that you are smart and worthy of so much more.

newtress, your boyfriend sounds like my exhusband who was with me while I was going through nursing school. He became so threatened of my new knowledge and capabilities that he actually tried to burn some of my expensive school books. He even tried to hide my homework assignments and notes from me. I had to out think him and protect all my paperwork/books until I graduated. He never learned to treat me equally, nicely, lovingly or with respect. I left him less than 6 months after I graduated and have never looked back. Abusive men want to control their women by intimidation, ridicule, threats among other measures always at the womans' expense. Again, please take good care of yourself. When our self-esteem as women becomes beautifully strong, no man can ever abuse us because we would never allow it. Stay strong and beautiful!!!

Cisco----excellent post and advice for any person!! I hear and read alot about people in abusive relationships and I often wonder why anyone would tolerate such abuse and it infuriates me but then I also realize that alot of times it does have to do with control, money issues, co-dependency and the list goes on and on but unless whoever is in the abusive situation develops self esteem the abuser will always have the upper hand because they thrive on continuing to degrade in order to make them feel superior. I also know that it isnt always women being abused however thats what we hear about most but I believe there are alot of men that are taking abuse from controlling women but we dont hear about it as much because men do not talk about it as freely as women do.

To anyone that feels they've lost their self esteem and is in a abusive relationship the best thing that you can do is get professional help. You will not overcome the abuser on your own because they know exactly how to keep you where they want you and outside help in order to regain independence and self esteem is absolutely necessary.

my ex did the same!!!