To resign early or risk getting fired?

[NYtoCAtoNY]

I've been at my hospital job for three and a half months and just received my 90 eval. The only criticism I received was something along the lines of "You need to smile more and be more welcoming to people" What the hell is that?

I am always early to work, I am professional, I get the job done, I am polite and respect my patients. Unfortunately the charge nurse is a cow that sits at her desk and gossips the entire time and does not help anyone with ANYTHING.

I'm a relatively new nurse and have been encouraged by the Director to ask questions and ask for help if I need it. The director has notified me that the charge nurse and manager of the unit have stated that I don't smile enough (am i supposed to have a smile plastered on my face all day??), that I don't ask for help and they think I am too proud to ask (which is bull because I always ask especially if I am unfamiliar with something - which I DID ON ONE OCCASION AND DID NOT RECEIVE ANY HELP), and that I don't look comfortable and appear tense (HELLO, this is a tele unit, it gets crazy sometimes, i'm not the only nurse that gets stressed out).

Basically the only criticism I received was "You need to be more welcoming to others, if this is not something that can't be worked on during the EXTENDED 30 DAY PROBATION, then maybe this type of work environment isn't right for you". I feel like i'm being picked on or something. First off, my patients love me. I have been praised by the CEO for going out of my way and doing something for a patient that was much appreciated. Yet all the good things are overlooked and me not being a fake person is going to get my fired.

I was planning on resigning in a couple of months to pursue a graduate degree in NY but I feel like this is not an acceptable reason for me to be let go. So now before this 30 day mark I think I should resign and just relax for a month before I move. Any input would be appreciated. I am just furious with this situation. Oh and get this, the director is like "I don't know how you are with your patients so I will be around more to see your interactions". This is ridiculous and I am not the first nurse at the hospital to complain about the "culture" of the workplace. So resign in two weeks then just do the school thing? I don't think it will be a dealbreaker later when I look for a job considering I am moving for graduate school in the fall. HELP :argue: :uhoh21:

[Gold_SJ]

It sounds right now you're really frustrated with the meeting that occured (it's never good to feel harrassed over something like your persona). I advise you though to sit back and cool off for a couple of days before you decide to do something like resigning. We do a lot of things in the heat of the moment that we can often regret.

In the past when I was in my graduate period I was once told in an eval that 'I didn't seem to have a personality', by one of my preceptors. I was extremely embarrassed/frustrated. It was because it was a very busy ward, with a large amount of nursing staff who were very close. I was still trying to fit in, plus learn and being introverted the bunch of new staff around me were a little intimidating so I wasn't very talkative. Get me in a small group though and I completely open up. Three months later the nurse apologised to me.

New people can take a while to settle in and other staff to get to know their quirks. I stuck it out and am really thankful I did as I'm very happy where I work now.

I'm not saying it's the same situation (especially with this worry of being fired). However I was given the advice to to talk more/be more open and joke more in the evaluation. It seemed impossible at the time, it felt like an attack on my persona/personality.

I made the effort instead to talk to co-workers one on one where I felt more relaxed and eventually became publicly more talkative, as I knew my coworkers better. It pleased my preceptors/educators.

If I made the decision to resign then and not 'attempt' to fufill what they wanted I wouldn't be in the great position I am now with the team I'm with (although in a paed ward compared to med/surg). Just think carefully about what you want, if you truly don't want to play their game and act more cheerful and are willing to leave a job for this reason then kudos to you. But if you are willing to give it a go, you never know it might turn out better than you think. It did for me anyway.

Either way, all the best in your future!

:)

[greenbeanio]

It's not about "pasting on a smile". A smile is simply an external manifestation of an internal attitude and orientation to other people. A positive attitude towards our work and towards life in general, and a genuine warmth towards our patients and coworkers is something that is critically important in a good nurse. Sound clinical practice is important of course, but that's not all there is to nursing. I think as new nurses we can be so stressed about "getting it right" with all the clinical stuff, that we are too stressed to remember the relational aspect of providing good nursing care. I wouldn't stress over the evaluation. Show them you CAN smile and be positive by taking the feedback in the spirit of constructive criticism that you can take in stride and use to your own benefit.

[SoldierNurse22, BSN, RN]

Advice like this could ruin you. No offense, the military is guaranteed pay, yours is not. Also soldiernurse22, I'm guessing the 22 is for age. Therefore, you have much to learn. OP be cautious of who you solicit advice from!

Your guess is incorrect. My pay is guaranteed so long as funding is adquate, which is a gamble anymore; my promotions and retention are not. To infer that I must work any less to earn my dollar or retain my job is offensive. Your entire post is based on assumptions, an age-based prejudice and inadequate information. OP, advice (not to mention nursing practice) like this can ruin you as well.

I understand and acknowledge the importance of smiling. I think the studies cited on the previous page are sufficient evidence for the argument. However, I do not consider smiling an appropriate cover when you're around your coworkers or management--especially the management considering they should be the ones trying to help you.

When management sees that you're not smiling, their first question should be why, not "how can I threaten that nurse into smiling the fastest so I look good?". My favorite job yet has been at a place where my OIC (military equivalent of a manager) did just that. She actually came out and sat with us for hours at the nurses' station in order to make sure we were doing all right and to address any issues we may have had. She didn't confine her problem solving to meetings or emails; she was proactive in being there with us and noticing problems sometimes before we did ourselves. Did I smile for her and everyone else who worked on that ward? You bet I did.

[Zookeeper3]

you have been given a variety of thoughts on this. my own experience is that i had no idea, none, that my thoughts rang out loud and clear on my face/facial expressions. i thought my sweet tone of voice and correct wording was all that was needed no matter how busy, irritated, worried or happy i was.

early in my career, a patient family member called me out... "your tone of voice and words mean nothing because i can see your nastyness all over your face". yup, i was guilty... difficult family member and i had no use for her. little did i think or know it was plastered clear as day how i really felt.

initially i thought she was an idiot, then in time, watching the body language of patients and family, i could see they were carefully reading my non verbal cues.... that subjective data. these stinkers are very skilled at it.

for me to survive, i had to pay very close attention to my body language and actually had to relax my face purposefully for months until it became natural so no one could see what i was "thinking internally".

this doesn't have to mean hiding nasty thoughts, i learn to hide being in hurry, being worried, having my buttons pushed, and cautiously being happy.

food for thought and it's good advice that will carry anyone through any career, it saved mine!

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

I think when it comes down to it technical proficiency alone is not enough. It might keep a patient alive but may not make them want to live. How your patients perceive is important. They aren't going to think wow he/she is really good at tasks. No they are going to think he/she doesn't care about me.

[studentnurse50]

"Keep in mind that patient ratings are soon going to be effecting Medicare payouts. So facilities all over the country are scrambling to do anything and everything they can to ensure that they receive good ratings."

Cally, can you help me understand the statement? I'm a new grad and don't understand how patient ratings will determine payouts.....Thanks in advance.

[Tippyrn]

Once I was fired for being an introvert which I don't even think is true. If the only complaint is not smiling enough, they should feel lucky to have you, don't give then the satisfaction of quitting.

[Sour Lemon]

Once I was fired for being an introvert which I don't even think is true. If the only complaint is not smiling enough, they should feel lucky to have you, don't give then the satisfaction of quitting.

Your advice is about five years too late. Whatever the OP decided to do has been long-done by now.

[Purple_roses]

Deleted. Didn't realize how old this post was!