Time for family

srnaKate · Jun 4, 2004

I am in exactly the same boat, 2 small boys (and an older daughter) and concerned with lost family time. My youngest will be 5 when I start, I will be watching the responses you receive. Just remember, you're not alone! Best of Luck!

iliket3 · Jun 4, 2004

I too will be in a similar situation when I begin. Granted, it's a couple of years away yet but I figure by the time I start my son will be 4 or 5. My husband and I have been discussing this frequently - or more like me constantly trying to prepare him for how difficult this is really going to be on the family. Right now with his job, he works out of town for 2-3 weeks at a time. We've already figured out that he won't be able to keep that job when I go to school. Anyway, we've decided to save enough money so that he can work maybe part time and be the parent at home for Ethan. I think this is a difficult decision for any mother or father with young children. But I keep telling myself that it's a short period of time in our lives and we will be better off afterwards. Plus it's been a personal goal for years and I would regret it for the rest of my life if I didn't at least try. So good luck to you.

movinsouth · Jun 4, 2004

I will be starting a CRNA program in August. I have three small children...Ages 4, 2 1/2, and 8 months. Am I crazy? Maybe... but I have an extremely supportive husband who will be staying home with the children for at least the first year. It is stressful because we will aquire more loans...but I think better in the long run for the health of our "family". Since we will be relocating to an area far away from our family/support, it would be very hard on the children to be away from both parents. I just hope and pray that we are making the right decision and that it all works out in the end. My husband and I both feel that now is the right time to go through this ordeal...while the children are young. The younger ones wont have as much recolection of this stressful time and we wont be uprooting them from school and many friends like we would if we were to wait several years. It is encouraging to hear that there are other mothers/parents making this huge comittment. I know that I will feel a bit of guilt from time to time about the lack of time I'm able to devote to my children...hopefully I can cope with that. I agree...would love to have some helpful advice and encouragement from SRNAs currently in the same boat. Thanks, and best of luck to the above posters!

TraumaNurse · Jun 4, 2004

Well I have one week down and a lot more to go, but school is as every bit intense as people say it is! I have 2 little ones (2 and 4) and my time with them will be very limited over the next 27 months... it has to be or I may not make it. That said, it is really all about time management and budgeting time in for study, school, clinical prep-time, clinicals, spouse, children, and a little bit of me time to unwind and clear your head.

In my class of 12: 2 people each have 4 kids, 1 has 3, I have 2, and another has a baby. One of the girls with 4 kids has a 6 month old and her oldest is 12. These people will ALL make it, and so will you!...if properly motivated. It is definitely harder on us who have children, but having a family does not make it an impossible task.

Personally, I am taking the time before dinner until my kids are in bed to be with them and my wife (about 5pm - 9pm). Once the little ones are down, it's a cup-o-joe and back to the books. Since my wife is working Fri, Sat nights, we are keeping Sunday night for our night together (unless I have an exam on Mon!). That's my plan and I will try to stick to it as best as school will allow.

Your family and friends will have to understand that school comes FIRST and you will spend time with them when you can. Just make what little time you do have with your family count! CRNA school does not give you the luxury to drag your feet or waste time. IMHO.

SproutRN · Jun 5, 2004

It is very challenging to have littlel people and be in school full time. In my class of 18 there are only 3 of us with children. I have just completed my 10th month in school and I have a 5 and 2 1/2 year old. They both attend preschool daily and I try and spend a couple of hours with them in the evening before they go to bed. Some days I see them for a few minutes before they go to bed and that is VERY hard. But I know I am doing this for them and in the end everything will be better.

Although you spend every waking moment with your head in a book, just take a little time with them.

Sprout :nurse:

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Jun 5, 2004

Basically, I waved good-bye to my family in September of 1995, and that was it until June of 1997. :chuckle In the meantime, the kids gave my DH fits, my marriage almost broke up, and I went through a midlife crisis. I don't remember it as being a particularly happy time, to say the least.......but we survived it after all, and came out better for the experience.

As the saying goes, that which does not kill us, makes us stronger. Nursing school definitely fits THAT description!

Qwiigley, BSN, MSN, DNP, RN, CRNA · Jun 5, 2004

Now for the reality check and please don't bother flaming me.

You will say good bye to your kids and husband for the next 24-27 months. (If you are a female) you will have a very difficult time. Men seem to have someone at home that seems to be able to take care of things. Kids get sick, they don't always sleep thru the night, they have to be taken to daycare or home from school in the middle of the day. You can not leave clinicals for such things. There is no excuse to miss clinicals or a lecture. The exams come and no excuses are valid to miss or not do well. You may get one "C", the next one you get, you are out of the program. (I am speaking of CRNA school only).

That all said, good luck. :balloons:

Remember you can always come back when the kids are grown, as they are only young once. You can always go to school.

Don't bother to flame me. I am the only person on this board that will be honest and not politically correct. Ask an honest question and I assume you want the honest truth.

TraumaNurse · Jun 5, 2004

Qwiigley,

I will not bother to flame you, but I will disagree with you. To say you are the ONLY person on this board who will be honest and not just PC is a load!

For someone in your position that has a long commute to school, I can see how time with family is even more limited. But not all of us drive 2 hours to school. I have a 15 min commute so I can be home and spend a few hours each day with my family. I chose my school for that reason!

To suggest that someone not bother and go to school after the kids are grown is silly! If a person has a good support system, good time management skills, and a well thought out plan...it can be done! Am I suggesting that life will be all roses and you can spend as much time with the kiddos as before school...absolutely not. CRNA school is tough and extremely demanding. There are people getting through just fine every day who have families. It is tough and many families suffer during the process, but it is do-able.

I don't believe that having a positive attitude and being encouraging should be labled as being dishonest!

I will say that for those students who have kids and that do not have a supportive spouse or other family, that the task is even more difficult. You must have support and you must be fully aware that time with the family will be extremely limited. Saying it can be done is not being politically correct...it's being honest!

JSB · Jun 6, 2004

This topic really hit home for me as an aspiring SRNA. I am planning on applying to schools in about three years, and am pretty confident about meeting the requirements, and will have about $25,000 saved up. That plus loans should get me through. But here is the clincher - I am the single parent of three children. They are 6, 4, and 2 yrs now, but will all be in school by the time I start school. My plan is to hire a nanny, but I wonder if this will be good enough. I live in Athens GA, and there are no CRNA schools close by where I would have lots of family support and help with the children, so we will have to move away from our support system in order to go to school. This is a huge issue for me to address in order to be successful, but so far my life has really been in divine order, and I believe that will continue. Does anyone know of other single parents who have gotten through CRNA school? I would be very intersted in any suggestions you all have.

allnurses Guide · Jun 6, 2004

Of course the best thing to do is get your education right after high school before marriage and family and I try very hard to hammer that home to my kids. Leave the romance stuff for later . . . .

I did attend college after high school with a major of Social Work and was one year away when I stupidly let my hormones get the better of me with someone with the complete opposite values and lifestyle than me. Dropped out of school and then two kids later got a divorce.

Remarried and had another child. When she was in first grade I was accepted to nursing school.

IT WAS VERY HARD. My marriage suffered, my kids suffered, I was a basket case at times wondering what the heck I'd done. If I had known ahead of time how much my kids missed me and how much I missed them, I would never have done it. That old "quality vs. quantity" argument is ridiculous.

That said, it is in the past but I just want to echo Qwigley and be honest and say I'm not sure it was worth it.

And I love being a nurse.

But I love being a mom more.

steph

TraumaNurse · Jun 6, 2004

I think the argument that, choosing to advance ones career is selling out on your family, is ridiculous. To insinuate that a person has less love for their children because they strive for a better career and lifestyle is ludicrous. I am going to CRNA school not only for me, but for my family. There are things in life that you must sacrifice for the greater good.

If you are happy in your career and have no desire for advancement, then it is easy to say that you would never take any time away from your family again. However, not everyone has that luxury, and sometimes you must make sacrifices in order to improve things for yourself and your family. Does the willingness to make sacrifices mean that you have less love for your family...NO.

I will agree with you that it would have been a lot easier to do this pre-children, but life is not that easy.