Things that make you go hmm.......

Thoughts to ponder....

Why is it considered necessary to nail down the lid of a coffin?

why is the man who invest all your money called a "broker"?

why don't you ever see the headline "Psychic wins lottery"?

why doesn't the glue stick to the inside of the bottle?

why is it that doctors call what they do "practice"?

Why can't they make the whole plane out of the same substance

that little indestructible black box is?

How come abbreviated is such a looong word?

If a cow laughed would milk come out of her nose?

If it is true that we are here to help others, then what exactly are the OTHERS here for?

If FED EX and UPS were to merge, would they call it FED UP?

What hair color do they list on the driver's license of bald men?

Why do soo many old people eat at cafeterias?

If quitters never win, and winners never quit, what fool came up with "quit while you're ahead"?

I guess I'd better quit while I'm ahead!

:roll

[Rustyhammer]

If a parsley farmer can't pay his bills...do they garnish his wages?

If they can take out 300+ calories out of a can of coke....why can't they take that last stubborn one out?

If you fart in church...will you have to sit in your own pew?

-Russell

[AV2875, MSN, CRNA]

LOL:chuckle

[jevans]

RUSTYHAMMER

SOOOOOOOOOO FUNNY

:roll :roll :roll :roll

j

[AV2875, MSN, CRNA]

Wake up everybody........come out and play:roll

I know there are some more good ones out there!

Ya'll are just holdin out on me:chuckle

[whipping girl in 07, RN]

You can pick your friends, and you can pick your nose, but you can't pick your friend's nose.

Some oxymorons:

Long shorts

Military intelligence

Jumbo shrimp

Hmmm, I'm getting hungry!

:)

[dianah, ASN]

Aww, you've all seen this one (I paraphrase, I fear):

If a man speaks in a forest, is he still wrong?? (oooo, sorry Russell)

[bandaidexpert, BSN, RN]

Constipated People Don't Give A crap .

If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.

If That Phone Was Up Your Butt,

Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

If At First You Don't Succeed,

Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling!

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

Illiterate? Write For Help

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

If Sex Is A Pain In The butt, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel

ow Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down...

Before He Admits He is lost?

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them

[Rustyhammer]

We should go into the bumper sticker biz.

-Russell

[pkmom]

he who stands in front of car gets tired.

he who stands behind car gets exhausted

[kids]

If you choke a Smurf what color does it turn?

How do Porky-pines do "it"? (embarrassingly, I know the answer to this one)

[alwaysthere]

not quite sure if it fits, and guys i love all of you (just not in the linen closet!)

why are guys attracted to smart girls?

opposites attract.