Things you'd LOVE to tell coworkers...and get away with it!

[General E. Speaking, RN]

Please don't label this thread "negative". It is meant to be fun.

Your scrubs are ugly.

I don't think you are "cute" when you get all googley-eyed and giggly around the young docs. I think it makes nurses look bad.

I cannot BELIEVE you were nominated for A Daisy Award! Did you nominate yourself?

It's called deodorant, use it.

Do your own assessment and stop badgering me for every single detail during report.

I swear I am going to put Ex Lax all over my lunch so the next time someone calls out for the runs, I will know it is you who keeps stealing my food!

Yes, my stethoscope is nice and it was expensive. Buy your own.

No time to help me turn my patient, huh? Yet, every time you need help, I have been there for you.

Your situational awareness sucks. While you are browsing the latest deals on the internet, I am drowning. Look around and help out your coworkers.

I'm happy you look rested and ready for your shift. Next time get here 15 minutes earlier so I can leave on time and be rested and ready for you.

No, you don't ALWAYS get the crappy assignment. I don't think you'd be happy with ANY assignment.

If you're sooooo sick of this place- leave.

[Poi Dog]

Oh snap!

[Chixie]

Are you surgically attached to that desk or does it require you to prop it up as you have been stood there for the majority of the shift. Move yourself.

I would like to pee this shift please.

[Raven Sierra, BSN, RN]

Un-fail yourself.

[Poi Dog]

Un-fail yourself.

That's a good one

[Poi Dog]

After last night, I wanted to tell my coworkers to go play on the road :redlight:

[Not_A_Hat_Person, RN]

If you leave your cell phone on for your entire shift, don't set your text message alert to The World's Longest Ringtone, especially if you're getting texts every 5 minutes. It's a brand new phone, so there should be a "beep once" or "vibrate" setting somewhere. Maybe you can find it between text messages.

[Poi Dog]

Stop talking to yourself; I always think you are talking to me and when I turn around to answer, you are looking at a chart.

[JDZ344]

It actually took you MORE time to track me down to tell my "your patient needs the commode" than to get it yourself. Thanks.

If you can see I have 3 people to feed at mealtimes, remarking "Wow, you sure have a lot of people to feed....shall I take lunch now while you are busy?" is only going to annoy me.

Seriously, nobody cares if you are hungover. Just do your job. If you can't, then reconsider the tequila and beer combo the night before work.

[Lynx25, LPN]

You, my dear, are a lazy *******. You should know d--n well how to dress that f------ wound. Your carelessness and apathy disgusts me.

You keep telling me, "Well, she's gonna die anyway." You lazy heifer. I will let someone die gracefully, but I refuse to let them rot in their own filth.

You keep telling me, "Well, she's gonna die anyway." You lazy heifer.

I will let someone die gracefully, but I refuse to let them rot in their own filth.

Your wildly innapropriate dressing changes and choices have lead to sepsis, and I hate you. I really, really, do.

*Well then... I think I feel slightly better now. Also, stop texting me to "PLEAZ CALL!!!! No, you call. I am at home.*

[ShortStackRN]

Thanks so much for that AWESOME report you gave me about how you just checked on them and everything is great and the patient was telling you how awesome you are. Crazy how somehow 5 minutes after report when walking rounds I found the patient drowning in tube feeding and had to call a CODE BLUE...I so appreciate it!

I'm sorry you had a bad day...I really am...but I'm not going to do your work for you because you got an admission at 1pm and it's now 7pm and they patient doesn't even have orders on the chart.

If you don't feel good...please call in. You are actually making my life harder by coming to work and spending the first 2 hours sitting at the desk complaining about how your toe hurts because I, as charge, end up doing your work for you.

Just because I'm sitting at the desk doesn't mean that I'm not doing anything. While I have been running around taking everyone to the bathroom, changing people, bathing people and getting them ice, drinks, snacks, etc...i have also had to pass meds, do assessments and NOW I need to chart these things. This does not give you an excuse to say "Make the nurse do it...I have to go take vital signs" (meanwhile you have already had your lunch break and time to sit around and gossip for the last 4 hours while I've been doing both of our jobs.

If you're going to ask me things like, "Should I stop a tube feeding before I draw labs?"..."Can PCAs do a portable chest xray?"...and tell me your patient fell because "I didn't put the bed alarm on because the doctors order say up as tolerated"...IF you're going to ask me for help which i sincerely hope you do...please do not argue with me when I tell you the correct way to do things. I love you but you are a scary nurse.

All things said, I love and appreciate my coworkers. But at the end of the day we are like a family (as we spend more time with them than our OWN families). We all get annoyed with each other from time to time...but once we can vent we can get over it!

[CrunchRN, ADN, RN]

"is only going to make me lactate with rage and will do nothing good for our co-working relationship."

:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:

[Raven Sierra, BSN, RN]

"is only going to make me lactate with rage and will do nothing good for our co-working relationship."

:lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2::lol2:

that was, by far, the best metaphor i've seen in a long time!!!! if i could give more than one kudo, i would! lactate with rage.....love it!