Things I wish my patients understood

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I DO NOT CONTROL YOUR DIET OR THE KITCHEN! Do not complain to me about it if you want something done about your food. All I can do is microwave and decide how quickly to bring you graham crackers and juice. I have no other power over what you eat while you're here, so for the love of heaven DO NOT YELL AT ME ABOUT IT.

Yeah, this weekend at work is going beautifully, LOL.

What do you wish *your* patients understood?

12 minutes ago, Mywords1 said:

I didn't know that some patients and family are so rude disrespectful to nurses! An outsider would not know  Are these incidents typical of patients or common everywhere? Does it depend on patients sickness or demographics? or gender? Or the neighborhood? I am sorry to read these cases. Do they also yell at doctors or they can't or won't?

 

Which is why it’s best not to chide people when you don’t have a full understanding of the situation. To answer your questions it happens everywhere with almost every demographic. It doesn’t matter if their condition is serious or minor. It doesn’t matter if things have gone smoothly or there have been bumps in the road. It happens to all staff but nurses, by and large, bear the brunt of it. We are verbally and physically assaulted every day in the US. I have been hit, spit on, strangled and had my thumb broken. No, I am not a lousy, mean nurse. The truth is that our culture has devolved into this feral free-for-all where violence is seen as an acceptable reaction to even the most minor of affronts (like broken TVs in patient rooms). It didn’t use to be this way and I’m afraid if we keep this up it will only end when we destroy ourselves. 

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.
1 hour ago, Mywords1 said:

I didn't know that some patients and family are so rude disrespectful to nurses! An outsider would not know  Are these incidents typical of patients or common everywhere? Does it depend on patients sickness or demographics? or gender? Or the neighborhood? I am sorry to read these cases. Do they also yell at doctors or they can't or won't?

 

This behavior reaches across any demographic of people you can think of. Certainly not all patients are like this, but enough are that it definitely takes a toll after a while.

I totally understand that the hospital can be a confusing and scary place, and I don't expect my patients to button up their concerns for my convenience. I'm even happy to listen to venting, to a point, and if there's a complaint that I can address, I absolutely will! My problem is when someone starts immediately attacking or berating me for something out of my control, and will not let me open a dialogue if there's nothing I can do or a sound rationale for a part of their care they don't like.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

In OB, "No I can't predict when your baby is coming. They run on their own time schedule, not just 9-5".

In LTC I agree with "No I don't know when the doctor is coming to talk to your about your loved one. You can sure I will be at his/her side when they do".

In dialysis "No I really am not responsible for the sorry state of your health. Skipping treatments and intake indiscretion are YOUR responsibility, and I can't fix you in 4 hours 3 x a week"!

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

In OB:   "I don't go home with you, so, please turn off Jerry Springer or Tik Tok and listen to me when I try to teach you how to care for yourself and your baby! It's on you when you are discharged, after all."

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Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
5 hours ago, Wuzzie said:

The truth is that our culture has devolved into this feral free-for-all where violence is seen as an acceptable reaction to even the most minor of affronts (like broken TVs in patient rooms). It didn’t use to be this way and I’m afraid if we keep this up it will only end when we destroy ourselves. 

Agreed. A nurse in my previous health system was killed when a patient broke a lamp over her head. I had multiple coworkers go on short or long term disability due to being injured by patients. One had her wrist broken. One had her hair ripped. I've had a pt rip the bed frame off and wave it at us. There were several times I feared not only for my safety but my life.

And of course the regular occurrence of being verbally abused. These are the main reasons besides staffing I left acute care. Solutions would be security that can intervene with physically violent patients, actual consequences for alert and oriented pts who attack, and support from management. First step is for people to actually consider it an issue rather than just part of the job. Our manager would remind us that people in a hospital are at their worst and need compassion. I held nothing against those with dementia or psych issues who could not control their behavior, but no compassion for alert pts screaming about needing mayonnaise. 

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

In GYN surg:  "No you can't have sex in your bed with your partner 8 hours post-op". (yes this has happened.) Also happened in post partum (YUCK). "The doctor was serious when she said no sex until ....2 or 6 weeks or whenever they deem safe".

3 minutes ago, LibraNurse27 said:

Agreed. A nurse in my previous health system was killed when a patient broke a lamp over her head. I had multiple coworkers go on short or long term disability due to being injured by patients. One had her wrist broken. One had her hair ripped. I've had a pt rip the bed frame off and wave it at us. There were several times I feared not only for my safety but my life.

And of course the regular occurrence of being verbally abused. These are the main reasons besides staffing I left acute care. Solutions would be security that can intervene with physically violent patients, actual consequences for alert and oriented pts who attack, and support from management. First step is for people to actually consider it an issue rather than just part of the job. Our manager would remind us that people in a hospital are at their worst and need compassion. I held nothing against those with dementia or psych issues who could not control their behavior, but no compassion for alert pts screaming about needing mayonnaise. 

That is why it must be made a punishable felony to attack any health care worker! In EVERY state, not just a chosen few. And make the punishment fit the crime.

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

in any place: "Just because he is male and wearing scrubs, does not mean he is a doctor". I know the male nurses get sick of explaining this.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
2 minutes ago, SmilingBluEyes said:

That is why it must be made a punishable felony to attack any health care worker!

Yes! I can't believe it's not. If someone did that anywhere else they would be tried for manslaughter. I entered nursing as the rainbow and butterflies naive type (from the suburbs and pretty sheltered, LOL!), thinking I'd hold people's hands and give Tylenol or whatever, so was pretty shocked at the amount of abuse. I feel it changed me irreversibly. I have become more fearful, jaded, and angry than I was before I was a nurse.

I don't experience any workplace violence in my new outpatient surgery job, the worst I've had is a minority cranky patient, which is normal due to post op pain or waiting forever while hungry. I can totally handle that. But the scars from acute care seem permanent. I often feel I'm in the wrong profession due to my anxious nature, as in can't sleep after a minor area like giving 2 doses of Tylenol too close together. But all the jobs I'd enjoy don't pay a living wage, so I feel stuck. I'm curious about those who left nursing altogether and how/what they are doing. 

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Specializes in Specializes in L/D, newborn, GYN, LTC, Dialysis.

Workplace violence is unacceptable where I work now. In dialysis, a patient raised his fist over my head and threatened to hit me with it when I did not have his chair ready on time. I took it all the way up the food chain and he was put on a contract to improve behavior.  I also had the police give him a ride home.

We have social workers which are available and that helps. But I refused to care for that patient after that. I just switched with another nurse. You don't get a second chance with me buddy. I am glad I left hospital nursing. Now back to what I wish patients knew:

Also in OB: "Yes you do really need to remove genital piercings before you give birth" (for what I would think are obvious reasons.)

and: "No I am not doing it for you; let your partner do that".

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.

It's really sad hearing how common of an experience this is. I completely agree with @LibraNurse27 in that I have a lot of patience for those who truly can't control their behavior. The thing is, simply not feeling well or being in pain or frustrated is no. reason. whatsoever. to threaten, verbally abuse, or actually physically hurt someone! And that is what is alarmingly frequent, and a huge part of what is so draining about this work.

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Specializes in Community Health, Med/Surg, ICU Stepdown.
3 minutes ago, NightNerd said:

It's really sad hearing how common of an experience this is. I completely agree with @LibraNurse27 in that I have a lot of patience for those who truly can't control their behavior. The thing is, simply not feeling well or being in pain or frustrated is no. reason. whatsoever. to threaten, verbally abuse, or actually physically hurt someone! And that is what is alarmingly frequent, and a huge part of what is so draining about this work.

Exactly! I have bipolar disorder type 1 and have gone to the clinic feeling terrible, waited forever for appointments, had them canceled after I drove 90 mins in traffic to get there, but I have never ONCE yelled at anyone or become violent. I ate my feelings at Chick Filet (even though apparently they hate gay people and I'm gay!) and drove the 90 mins back listening to a good podcast. Think of other coping mechanisms people. If going to evil chick filet prevents you from flipping out on a healthcare worker, I as a gay person endorse you to do it! haha 

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Specializes in CMSRN, hospice.
7 minutes ago, LibraNurse27 said:

Exactly! I have bipolar disorder type 1 and have gone to the clinic feeling terrible, waited forever for appointments, had them canceled after I drove 90 mins in traffic to get there, but I have never ONCE yelled at anyone or become violent. I ate my feelings at Chick Filet (even though apparently they hate gay people and I'm gay!) and drove the 90 mins back listening to a good podcast. Think of other coping mechanisms people. If going to evil chick filet prevents you from flipping out on a healthcare worker, I as a gay person endorse you to do it! haha 

Hahaha precisely! (Although geez, a 90 minute drive and they couldn't cancel before you had to do that? Still not a reason to freak out on someone who can't do anything about it, but still! I would definitely give only 4 out of 5 stars on my survey for that visit!)

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