Things I should not have to say...

[BatcampRN]

Things I should not have to stay, but say multiple times per day.

(MS/HS setting)

- Carry the ice back to class. Please don't walk and try and ice your ankle at the same time. 

[k1p1ssk, BSN, RN]

to an adult member of staff whose son vomited overnight and who's had over a quarter of her class out with a GI bug in the last 10 days: "If you are already having diarrhea and feel as though you are going to vomit YOU NEED TO GO HOME"

[Ice keeper]

" Stop wandering around puking on the floor, pick one spot!"

Student with chronic reflux who seems entirely too comfortable throwing up anywhere and everywhere and carrying on with life.  He was particularly bad today and by the time mom collected I had called for 4 vomit clean ups, in my office, the cafeteria, the lobby and the main office!

[JenTheSchoolRN, BSN, RN]

To staff x1000:

"Vomiting is not an emergency. I will not race upstairs to a bathroom if a student is vomiting. Let them finish vomiting in peace and then send them my way." (And so many of these folks have their own kids - do they freak out when they kid vomits at home?)

"I don't have a relationship at all with that student, so, no, I am not the best person to first discuss with them how they smell bad." (Relationships with student matter so much here!)

 For students:

"No, we don't have snacks."

"Yes, you need a pass to visit the nurse's office. Return to class."

"Since your headache started <2 minutes ago in a loud classroom, no, you don't need Advil."

"Not pooping really IS a big deal."

"No, I won't call your parent because you just want to go home."

"You do not need an ice pack every time [insert body part] hits a desk accidentally."

"You ran the mile in PE today when you are not used to regular exercise. Of course your body hurts."

And my response every time one of my middle or high school students say "I'm dying" is my sarcastic "I'm mean, we're all dying eventually, but I doubt it is happening for you today."

And the time I just close my eyes and sigh:

Kid with 101 fever at 8:02 when school starts at 8. "My mom said I needed to come in to get my work and then see you to call her to pick me up." Bonus if their rapid COVID test pings positive and they aren't wearing a mask! (We send out SO MANY reminders about the 3 no-brainer major symptoms for school exclusion: fever, vomiting, diarrhea...)