There's nothing worse than a FAT nurse!

[Darkstar1485]

Ok, I'm sure that title made you want to throw up in your mouth. I don't blame you. I felt the same way when my physician said it to ME.

In January, I decided to take control my life and lose weight. I have lost about 30lbs so far. So, when I went to my doctor last week, he noticed that I was 30lbs lighter. He asked if I was on a diet and I told him yes. I told him I was going to nursing school and want to be a good example if I'm going to lecture on proper diet and exercise.

I guess my statement gave him a green light to be an a-hole.Doctor: that is so refreshing to hear! Nurses are notorious for ignoring their health. Keep up the good work. Remember, THERE'S NOTHING WORSE THAN A FAT NURSE! ::::doctor laughs::::

I was in shock. I could not believe it. I went numb. I did not find what he said funny or supportive. Yeah... I'm actively searching for a NP to be my primary care provider.... I happen to like NP's better. I find them to be less socially retarded.

What's the general consensus on obese nurses? Are obese nurses not taken seriously? Is what my doctor said a common thought?

[Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN]

words hurt. words that hurt need to be carefully, if at all, used. whether or not a word has a definition in the dictionary does not necessarily make them appropriate to use. the "n" word is in the dictionary as a stingy person...

stingy, mean, avaricious, ungenerous, close, near (informal), sparing, grudging, mercenary, frugal, parsimonious, penurious, tightfisted, scrooge-like, stingy liberal, generous, lavish, prodigal, bountiful, munificent2. paltry, mean, small, inadequate, miserable, pathetic, insufficient, beggarly, scant, meagre, skimpy, measly, scanty, wretched

the "n" word used to be used freely and was appropriate.......a long time ago, not now. the word itself remains offensive and is not used in polite society even when used in "context". just because i don't think it should be removed from huck finn....doesn't mean it should be used in polite society. the "r" word is one of those words. once used to describe a medical condition...... the negative, hurtful connotation has prevailed and should not be used. imho.

i think "we" not only as nurses but as human beings, need to cognizant of hurtful words. i think the physician needs to self filter his behavior, zip his mouth shut, and was unprofessional poking fun at his employee (what does that say about his integrity:rolleyes:).

i think saying someone is socially inept would be more appropriate than using the "r" word. i don't think words need to removed from the english language but i do think we need to self edit when not in an intimate setting to set good examples and avoid offending others.

i am an educated individual and i think censorship and self editing are the traits of mature caring professionals for, in the words of dr. maya angelou, when we know better we do better.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

You say you did not equate it to intelectual disability. However, as quoted above, you suggested that people with intelectual disabilities would be unilaterally offended by use of this term. I.E. equating the word "Retarded" with those with intelectual disabilities.

Implying that words of the english language need to be retired because SOME people use it incorrectly is tantamount to burning books because they have offensive content. Retarded is a word. Taking back the word to its true meaning is better than pretending it does not exist. Educated individuals in a caring profession would recognize this and not decide censorship is better than education. Are you offended by flame retardent fabric?

You are not understanding. AT ALL. Mental retardation is still the official definition in the DSM-IV for people with an intellectual disability. What I have said and you fail to understand is that use of the word to mean stupid or inept is offensive to those actually affected by the disability, since they are neither of the above. Using it like this is akin to saying "that's so gay" to mean "that's so stupid." A poster in this thread already commented on how that was offensive to him, as a gay man. I find it offensive, as a heterosexual woman, just as I find the r word offensive. The c word is still in the dictionary too, that doesn't mean it's appropriate to go around using it indiscriminately in every day life. Google "spread the word to end the word" or go to youtube and look up "r word campaign" and you can see real life examples of people who are affected by others' careless use of the word.

People need to be cognizant of the things they say, you never know who you're speaking to, especially online. I find the careless use of the term "tourette's" to describe someone with foul language to be insulting and offensive as well, since tourette's is an actual disorder and the vast majority of people with the disorder do not walk around yelling curse words. [There is a scene in "How to Lose a Guy in 10 days" where Matthew McConaughey's character tells Kate Hudson's character "the whole family suffers from Tourette's" because they are playing the card came bullsh*t and all yelling the word. That's offensive just like the casual use of the r word is offensive.]

I suggest you go back and read the links I posted, especially the one in the post you just quoted which is a blog entry written by a mother of a child with ID where she speaks about how the casual use of the word as in "that movie was so retarded", "my doctor is socially retarded because he said something inappropriate" is offensive to her and her daughter. See #3 on her list of what "being retarded" doesn't mean: "It doesn't mean saying the wrong thing to a person."

[Darkstar1485, BSN, CNA, LPN, RN]

seriously, this "R" word discussion is getting to be too much... Everyone has thier own opinion. let's respect that and move on. I see this getting really intense and its not worth getting worked up over. Let's hold hands, sing kumbaya, and squash it. enjoy your Sunday!

[M.L.H.]

I did the New York Regents.program....its.tough but very doable

[Natalie Del Guidice]

I agree with the Doctors and lack of personalities! My cousin went to medical and became the most cold and harsh person. She said it is due to the fact they are trained to have no emotions. BS! Nurses must have great personalities because we are at the front line of patient health. Don't let some arrogant doctor bring you down. Keep up the good work! 30 pounds is something to be VERY proud of.

[Isthisforreal?]

I think, personally, I would not take the advice of an obese nurse as well if she were attempting to educate me on the necessity of good nutrition and exercise. But nurses have far more knowledge to offer than just on those two subjects. That doesn't give a doctor or anyone the right to make a general statement like that. Certainly, a nurse is not defined by his/her weight. I've known many outstanding heavy-set nurses who I'd rather have handling my care than some thin ones I've known, for sure.

[rubato, ASN, RN]

I really liked your story. It helps put things into perspective. Thank you for your kind words.

Question, if someone said that they felt "gay"meaning happy, would that offend you or would you just think it was strange that a person wouldn't just use the word happy?

The problem is that retarded and stupid are not interchangeable words. If you think someone is stupid, you call them stupid. If you think they're REALLY stupid, you call them retarded? That's wrong. You are insulting people that are actually retarded by saying that their disability is the same as some dumb*ss who just said some incredibly stupid thing. It is giving the dumb*ss an excuse, which he or she doesn't deserve because they do not have a disability, they are just stupid.

I hate when people say things are retarded or people are retarded, unless, of course, the person is retarded. It is a real word with a real meaning and is okay to use to describe a person who is actually retarded. Other than that, it shouldn't be used.

[rubato, ASN, RN]

seriously, this "R" word discussion is getting to be too much... Everyone has thier own opinion. let's respect that and move on. I see this getting really intense and its not worth getting worked up over. Let's hold hands, sing kumbaya, and squash it. enjoy your Sunday!

Sorry, but I just had to add my 2 cents in post above. I don't have to squash it if I don't want to. It is worth getting worked up over. But, I'm done now.

[LGLee2RN]

I am also a "fat" nurse but decided to do something about it. Since January 24, 2102 I have lost 65+ lbs. I has some assistance. I had a gastric sleeve done. I will reach my goal in less than 100 lbs. I feel so much better. I am not sure how I would have taken that comment, but I did I have never had a problem about my nursing skills because of my weight. I do travel nursing and have a very good reputation. In fact I took off a year to get my weight and health under control and was able to return back to traveling because of my reputation. Most travel companies want you to be working at least 6 months to a year without a break. The only reason I had a problem was my weight was beginning to affect my health and I did not want to loose my career or my life because of my health. I now have a new leash on life.

[Stephalump]

Actually, the problem is hat the words retarded and stupid ARE interchangeable. They have virtually the same meaning. Once upon a time, people with MR were freely referred to as stupid and idiots before it become uncouth.

The difference between "gay" and "retarded" is that being gay (happy) is a positive thing. No one is going to complain if a label they prescribe to is linked to something wonderful. The word retarded is a negative thing. To retard something means to delay it. Suffering from retardation means something about your development was delayed. People are going to respond to the use less willingly.

The N- word example is really not applicable here. Any other definition given to the word is new. The very root of the word means "black..." it wasn't a standard word turned into a label like "gay" and "retarded" were.

Regardless, it's not that hard to to simply omit certain pejorative words that people find hurtful. It won't impact me in any negative way to avoid the word "retarded" in public settings, but it makes a huge difference to the people who would be affected. I'd say that's a win.

[tothepointeLVN, LVN]

I think, personally, I would not take the advice of an obese nurse as well if she were attempting to educate me on the necessity of good nutrition and exercise.

Then you maybe denying yourself some good quality advice. I used to be a bodybuilder before I became obese. Remember how you see someone is only a snapshot of their life experience.

[bronnie]

I think this comment from the doctor says more about him than anything, and the age old power struggle between nurses and doctors. I would like to think that both professions realised that the two roles are distinct and separate from one another, but at the same time compliment each other. I think respect for the necessity and value of both nurses and doctors and all indeed all allied health roles in the treatment and care of patients is paramount.