One Day we are on our patient audit for 3-11 shift in the next day in one of the hospital in the Philippines. I was called by our Clinical Instructor (CI) and I was assigned in a patient with full thickness burns. The patient was in the 50's . During our conversation and Nurse Patient Interaction getting the necessary health data and information of the accident there is something I feel inside me, It is very strange, something unusual, my heart beats fast, and then suddenly I saw the scourged Jesus in Him , the one that is likely shown in the passion of Christ. I saw in his eyes the suffering that he was encountering as what our Lord experienced during the time he was hanging on the tree of cross. I heard in his voice the agony and pain, like Jesus whispering in me "Come my Dear, come and comfort me" . I feel the totality of putting myself before the tree of the cross when our Loving lord was in HIS last moment of His life.
As the time gone by, I am enjoying the moment with my Lord, but I cannot bear the felling within , I want to cry ! I want to hug him! I want to say "Lord I love you please forgive me of my hardheadedness!" . But I must do the right thing, maybe if I did such thing he may encountered more injury because of the open tissue ; or maybe get insulted. I did not show to my patient the tears within my eyes. I didn't want to allow my patient to see the uncovered pain of my sliced heart.
I politely excused myself and run to the chapel of the Hospital, where my tears burst and my heart weeps. Once again I felt that I am placed on the time where the Loving lord was being whip by the sharp metals of the Roman soldiers. I felt the pain of being scourged, persecuted and left.
During the night I can't sleep . All my mind was occupied by the tender love of God to us. Giving His most precious son Jesus Christ. Meditating on the Paschal mystery of Jesus. The pain and the joy combined. Pain because of my sins, my shortcomings and my naughtiness. Joy for this treasured moments and experienced that HE (Jesus) unveiled to me.
I had served the patient with all my Best. Serving a King. I saw in him the Lord . My Master my Love my all! And that experienced was cherished inside me. The calling within the call as mother Theresa said was experienced by me.. Thank you Lord... Thank you Jesus!!!
staff note: some separating of text done to clarify who said what.
the author seems like he might be on the edge of some psychotic episode, cloaked in religious fervor. again....not appropriate!
seriously? a psychotic episode because he made a connection--an internal connection, mind you--between the suffering of a severely burned patient and the suffering of jesus?
yes seriously!!!! this was certainly not internal, otherwise he wouldn't have run from the room crying, or been up all night thinking about his patient, nor would he have written this.
he ran from the room crying? where did he say that? he said some time had passed (we don't know how much, but long enough for him to think through the situation and choose to avoid saying or doing anything inappropriate or in any way offending the patient. he also said he politely excused himself from the room, which is what i would hope any of us would do if we felt our emotions on the job exceeding our ability to contain them. nurses are human. this can happen without warning. the best thing to do is exactly what he did. excuse yourself so as not to infringe on the patient's peace of mind. then return when you are more composed.
i found this entire article very disturbing. our job, as nurses, are to care for the physical and psychological health of our patients. what i read didn't sound even close to that. it was a nurse who was having "religious dreams" about his patient!
the experience with the burn patient caused him to think about how much god loves him. he didn't say he had religious dreams about his patient.
you have a nurse who 1. has a poor grasp of the english language.- i seriously hope that the reason this post is so disturbing is because the op didn't have the correct grammer to get across his points. to me, this sounds like a very ethnocentric person who "sees christ"-
the op is from the philippines. english may not be his first language. many people who learn to speak a second (or third or fourth) language struggle with idiomatic speech. one result can be a message that seems overly dramatic.
as a non-catholic...i find this flat out creepy. 2. it talks about (again, in broken, hard to understand english) that he wanted to "throw his arms around the patient"- in this instance, it isn't a giving the pt. a friendly hug of support....but an embrace filled with religious zeal. don't get me wrong- i've had many instances where my interactions with patients has endorsed, or challenged my faith. but imagine how uncomfortable it would be if i submitted an article about how my ed patient "embodied the faith of wicca_ moving me to sobbing tears and making me want to go build a bonfire...." if i posted "calling the patient during the night i can't sleep . all my mind was occupied by the tender love of god to us. giving his most precious son jesus christ. meditating on the paschal mystery of jesus. the pain and the joy combined. pain because of my sins, my shortcomings and my naughtiness. joy for this treasured moments and experienced that he (jesus) unveiled to me.
you keep citing things he never said or did. he never brought up calling the patient because he couldn't sleep. and having the thought of doing something isn't the same as doing it.
sorry- this is not my faith, and the fact that he was projecting this on his patient seems wrong to me. i have no problems with a nurse seeing their care of a patient as a service to their higher power, again...i believe this might be directly caused by the words chosen. but i could honestly tell you, this entire post gives me the icks. i'm not catholic, nor do i agree with most of what is taught in their faith. it would make me very uncomfortable having this man care for me....and that is what makes this wrong.
the injured man certainly appears to have inspired feelings of joy and gratitude in the op and awakened a desire to serve, but i just don't see how he projected anything "on his patient." he said he kept his mouth shut and his actions appropriate. when he had a chance, he politely excused himself from the room so he would not burden the man with his emotions. and then he took care of the man to the best of his abilities. it's entirely possible that the patient never had any idea what was going on inside the op.
you may be offended by the subject matter, but if someone were of a faith very different from my own, this is exactly what i would want them to do. keep emotions in check while in the patient's presence. step out when there is time to discharge the feelings privately. and return to do the best job possible.
the only way for him to take this a step further would be to reject his own faith on your behalf. that sounds pretty unreasonable to me.
you've mentioned the op's message giving you "the icks" several times. he never did come out and say what denomination he belonged to (or if he belonged to one at all) and there are many groups whose beliefs could be consistent with the op's thoughts. is it possible that you are so turned off by a particular religion (or even religion in general), the op's poor english, and the dramatic tone of his writing that you are imagining words and actions that don't actually show up in the article?
this isn't meant with any disrespect. it just seems that quite a few of the examples you gave were inaccurate upon closer reading. it may be that if you have a bias against a particular group, you would not be objective in a evaluating something that may be connected to them in a thread like this.
as i said above, it's entirely possible that the patient never had any idea what was going on inside the op. feeling these things in his own heart and mind are not projecting his faith on someone else.
My inital reaction to the original post was somewhat similar to those who have been gently chided by administration; however, the "ickiness" or "inappropriateness" of his thoughts or feelings (however fervently expressed on an online forum) are not things we should be judging. His actions seemed appropriate, and that's what matters. If Bro. David saw Christ, whether figuratively or literally (preferably figuratively), in each of his patients and was able to care for them and ease their suffering with a full heart and hopefully not creep them out by throwing himself at their feet and speaking in tongues or something, then there ya go.
Thank you for a sensible approach to an emotional subject.
NRSKarenRN's explanation that this man is a brother in a religious order explained a lot.
How come the person who wrote the original post has not responded? Perhaps he is not in some sort of delusional state? No matter what anyone believes, the patient is not or was not Christ. Sorry bud. And by the way, what was the religion of the patient? Did this person even know?
Someone posted later in the thread that it looks like the OP is a Catholic religious brother (a monk) who is in training to become a nurse.
He may not have come back because, a) a religious brother in nursing school would not have a lot of free time, and/or, b) he felt a little stung at the intense negativity of the reactions from the first day.
"You have a nurse who 1. Has a POOR grasp of the English language.- I seriously hope that the reason this post is so disturbing is because the OP didn't have the correct grammer to get across his points."
Uh, it's grammar. The English language is definitely a challenge.
What a ridiculous thread this is - from the original post to mine at this moment.
thanks for your different perspectives on this interesting post, nrskarenrn and rn/writer. i found particularly valuable the reminder that
the op is from the philippines. english may not be his first language. many people who learn to speak a second (or third or fourth) language struggle with idiomatic speech. one result can be a message that seems overly dramatic. (emphasis added)
i have to say that my response to bro. david's piece was coloured partly by the dramatic pacing and emotive language, and partly by what i think, in retrospect, was an unfair comparison with a nurse with whom i used to work. not, to the best of my knowledge, particularly religious, she would react oddly during dramatic events (like codes), first pushing people out of the way to assist (in one case attempting to bag a conscious patient) then getting overwhelmed, bursting into tears and running out of the room; in one case she was found being comforted by the family of the patient as he was receiving cpr.
the reference by bro. david to being overwhelmed by emotion, running to the chapel, his heart weeping, and his being unable to sleep connected him, for me, to this other nurse. i overlooked the part where bro. david also said
as the time gone by, i am enjoying the moment with my lord, but i cannot bear the felling within , i want to cry ! i want to hug him! i want to say “lord i love you please forgive me of my hardheadedness!” . but i must do the right thing, maybe if i did such thing he may encountered more injury because of the open tissue ; or maybe get insulted. i did not show to my patient the tears within my eyes. i didn’t want to allow my patient to see the uncovered pain of my sliced heart. (emphasis added)
i'm still not entirely comfortable with bro. david's fervour, and i'm still concerned that though he refrained for reason both physcial (risk of further injury) and psychological (potential for insult) that he wanted to hug the patient not for the sake of the patient but because he was an embodiment of the lord. i also stand by my observation that
i'm distressed that your thoughts lay solely with your religion, your connection with god, the meaning this had for you, with nothing for your patient except how he served as a tool for this experience.
however, i also accept that this discomfort is connected to my responses and associations as well as his writing. i hope for his sake that this kind of response is rare because otherwise his nursing career will be exhausting. i, too, hope bro. david returns to the board, and i'd be interested in his response to the comments on this thread.
"What a ridiculous thread this is - from the original post to mine at this moment."
I rescind this statement. I have a tendency to type things like that when I've wasted too much time on here & have either had too much or not enough you-know-what.
It's an interesting thread, and the original post has been the impetus for some honest self-investigation and insightful commentary. I'm too lazy to figure out how to add a quote to my replies, but it would be this or something just as obscure and annoying:
"What does not change / Is the will to change." - Charles Olson
Wait, also: Wouldn't it be great if Bro. David was a fictitious persona conceptualized by some bored and talented RN in Middle America? Or not.
Bro. David, I am sorry for all these people's responses....I know how you feel and I know your experience was from God. I am glad for you that Jesus opened your heart to see Him in that patient. But also you're blessed for having these people say those things about you! Remember that and continue to be blessed and let your heart be open to Jesus :) may you feel that compassion for all your patients and have the grace to do what you need to do at the same time
Bro. is short for Brother which is usually reserved for Monks, I believe, and seeing that the Brother has a BSN after his name that this story is from his past. Personally I do not see where he caused the patient any harm and he even states "I had served the patient with all my Best".
have you ever seen your mother, grandmother, father, or any loved one in a dying patient???? surely you can see how someone of faith can project their faith?
As a Catholic Seminarian and based on the conduct of St. Francis my favorite saint. We are on respect on race, color and religion. As a nurse I have the responsibility to care for my patients need, in what ever his creed was. As a seminarian it is my responsibility to offer all my service to my God "What you did to the least of this brethren you did it to me". I must see to it that the patient feels the love of His God through me. (Alter Christus). I had already encounter many patient of different creed but i do my obligation the same... to be Christ to them and see Christ in them... with respect of their religion. What matters her is the action and service you are doing.
Your behavior belongs only for patients who are of your religious beliefs. Please do not treat other people in a way that they may not believe. It is rude. It is selfish. It is crazy. If someone like you came to my hospital bed with your behavior, I would be shocked as hell. I suggest you keep these thoughts to yourself and get what good you can from it, but leave the patient alone unless the patient needs and asks for it. I would be insulted. The problem with people like you is that you think others are thinking like you and that you are doing them a favor. Wrong.
My Brother... I have already handle many patient of Different creed. I treat all people under my care as Christ...serving HIM with all my best in respect to the clients creed. Christ did not teach us to discriminate people but to serve people; not to hate but to love. To preach through action not only by words. I had already encountered client who are, Muslim, Jehovah, Buddhist etc. When i pray with them I pray with respect to God. and I never adressed God as God... but as Higher Being. We share our faith in harmony and not in conflict... trying them to develop a strong Spirituality in who ever he believes of.
Bro, sorry but you have it 100% wrong. Not everyone wants you to see Christ in them or as Christ. That can be very disrespectful. If you cannot see this, you are looking at religion thru your eyes only and not thru anyone elses. Christ may be "it" for you. But you need to realize that Christ may not be "it" for others you are treating as if it is. This is poor judgement. Please think about this. As they say in America, "there are many ways to skin a cat". Meaning that your way may be good for you and great, but it may not be the way for the other. It is simple thinking.
rn/writer, RN
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