The happy policy

txredheadnurse, BSN, RN · Sep 26, 2011

This must be from the same school of thought as the supervisor who wrote me up once for an insubordinate facial expression. No, I didn't stick my tongue out or make a kiss off face. I frowned and sighed when she assigned all of us to work the weekend....without overtime. I sighed, etc. because I had asked her much earlier in the week how she planned to cover the weekend. I was planning on buying non refundable tickets to an event so I wanted to know how to plan my weekend. The week goes along and she keeps insisting she has the weekend situation in hand. Come Friday we are all told we need to leave early so we can cover the med passes on the weekend. Of course I had my now wasted money tickets in hand. Hence the frown and sigh because there was nothing preventing her from telling us earlier in the week that we would have to cover the weekend. Well nothing except her ego that believed she couldn't take a suggestion to plan ahead.

OK I slightly digressed...sorry. For the love of Pete when will this insane school of philosophy that everyone has to be perky and smiling and oozing false cheer ever stop? All I ask of anyone is be competent and implement basic courtesy. I don't like customer service folk kissing my hinny and groveling and I am perfectly fine if someone doesn't greet me with a frighteningly artificial grin on their face. Actually when they do they make me nervous. I am someone who uses humor a lot, likes to laugh and be sociable but when I am "in the zone" work wise I am not a smiler. When I am dealing with an especially rough day chronic pain wise I am not Miss Sunshine Lollipops and Rainbows. My face will reflect my pain at times but my work performance and my ability to be polite and considerate is not affected. I don't trust people who have a mask of forced cheer plastered on their faces.

LPNnowRN · Sep 26, 2011

Patients can spot fake a mile away...

NurseShelly · Sep 26, 2011

Who's going to enforce this insulting policy anyway?

nyrn5125 · Sep 26, 2011

maybe they could play the smurf lala lala la la theme all day on the everhead. that's exactly what the pt with stage 4 cancer wants to hear

leslie :-D · Sep 26, 2011

I'm not allowed to be anything but smiley. Sorry if I must sneeze.

i think i'd be inclined to cut out a paper smile and tape it to my face.

leslie :-|

SeeTheMoon · Sep 26, 2011

Next you'll have to don a girdle, make sure your hair is rolled, and practice your princess wave. :rolleyes:

Poi Dog · Sep 26, 2011

I figure with that policy, I'd be sent home every darn day

Heck, even if I were on top of the world, I'd come in with a 'tude just so that I would be sent home. Make my day, management. Make. My. Day.

SuesquatchRN, BSN, RN · Sep 26, 2011

*snort*

My unit'd be empty. Reflect on that, management.

belgarion · Sep 26, 2011

Will somebody please hide this thing before my new DON sees it?

Medic/Nurse, BSN, RN · Sep 26, 2011

Wow.

Thank GOD they came up with a policy - now I know that HAPPY will just HAPPEN - ALWAYS!

Just when you think you have encountered every BONEHEAD piece of administrative garbage ever written and now this little JEWEL appears. Wow. Just wow.

Do these "policy" folks realize that THEY (never mind you, they are not thinking about you!) work in a HOSPITAL - a H-O-S-P-I-T-A-L - you know that place where the good flight occurs - LIFE vs. DEATH. Where "HAPPY" moments are few and far between in most areas.

Imagine the "joy" this will inspire - running to help? Better be smiling!!!!

Beep....Beep......Beep.........Beep...............Beep...................

Beep..............................Beep.............................................

Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!

Followed by "CODE BLUE Room 123 - come on guys be as happy as can be!"

:hpygrp: :hpygrp: :hpygrp:

or Grand Rounding that starts with administration teams breaking into SONG -

If you're HAPPY and you KNOW it - CLAP YOUR HANDS! :yeah: :yeah:

If your HAPPY and you KNOW it - CLAP YOUR HANDS! :yeah: :yeah:

If you're HAPPY and you KNOW it - THEN YOUR FACE WILL REALLY SHOW IT - :clown: :clown: :clown: :clown:

and by the last verse ANYONE that is not following them around and singing merrily GET'S TO JUST GO HOME!

Just when you thought it was SAFE to think about getting back to the hospital - this kind of BS reminds me why I left!

Well, it doesn't happy often, but this is a new one on me.

I'm inspired!

Seriously, OP - this is one of the most insulting policies (to staff and patients) I have seen in a long time. Almost offensive. I certainly hope that they are working on policies to increase my happiness -

It seems like your hospital - just DOES NOT GET IT!

WE are so customer service oriented that we have mandated every mood but HAPPY and JOYFUL out of our work staff - so, if you come here to die - make no mistake WE WILL BE ALL HAPPY ABOUT IT ? :eek: or we will be sent home to have a drink *wine

Ridiculous.

Maybe there is ANOTHER way or a few dozen that will make the HAPPY MANDATE unnecessary...maybe making a workforce happy would be the answer!

Listen up there hospital folks - want happy staff (happy everyone for that matter) read on-

* INCREASE staff - ER 1:1 critical/major 1:2 really sick 1:3 sick 1:4 everywhere else with a floatRN and assistive staffer for every 10 in patient capacity! All tele/admit beds 1:4 with a floatRN and assistive staffer for every 8 in patient capacity! ICU/CCU 1:2 with a float RN and assistive staffer for every 4 patients! Ancillary - lab/radiology/dietary/PT/materials/transport - whatever you got now - double it and add 2 assistive staff minimum per area for every 50 patients admitted or 100 seen as outpatients.

If there is enough staff to do my job well (as opposed to feeling overwhelmed and running about like my hair is on fire!) I will be smiling a lot more!

* Less management and more LEADERSHIP. You got to focus on the RIGHT things or everything goes WRONG! If you do not know what this means - ask till you find the answer!

* Float pool/PRN folks - add one for every FTE per area. Now why so many? See below. Oh yeah - take their top dollars and double them. More below.

* Hoildays/Vacation - one thing that makes me really - HAPPY!? Being with my family during the holidays - just like you are! If we have enough Float/PRN staff and pay them well - for this primo pay require that they work 2 major/1 minor holidays each winter/spring. Oh yeah - those vacation days that have to be "cashed in" cause I cannot find my own vacation coverage - that will STOP. Now. oh yeah - 3 weeks vacation the first year and add another each year till you have 8 weeks - after 8 weeks (5 years) add a bonus to the holiday check - $500 for every year of service above 5, $1K for every year above 10. You will have way less turnover! And that is something for everyone - staff, management and PATIENTS will really smile about!

If there are enough resources that I can truly REST and RECHARGE - and spend enough time away from whatever happy fresh hell walks in when I am at "work" - well, that will really make me smile! 12 hour shift day = 12 hour vacation or paid day. No more of this hours conversion crap - a day is day is a day.

* Money. Yep, that! You know there comes a time to put up or shut up. Look at your staff (not during happy mandate - but, when they get out of their vehicles!) if they look tense, stressed or weary - there is a reason why and it's not gonna be a HAPPY one. Money is the #1 stressor in folks lives and also the reason most folks work. If the money issue is resolved - life will be HAPPIER! RN salaries should start at the $30 an hour rate (add % increase to adjust for your area COLA) and increase 5-10% per year for experience, education and credentials. Also, there is something called a yearly COLA - it levels your "milk money" - add it automatically - just follow the feds! COLA protects staff (and you!) from inflation and makes your money worth this year what it was last year - and that is something to smile about too!

Money may not buy happiness - but, if I feel financially secure - you can bet that I will be more inclined to be deliriously HAPPY!

* Education is important - offer everyone 5 PAID education/conference days and $2500 to spend on education every year. Knowledge is power - so if they are going to conferences, taking advanced classes and being INVOLVED in professional organizations and activities - everyone wins! Also, some of these staffers are carrying heavy student loans - surely there is something that can be done about that problem. 100K for a second degree BSN - robbery! Robbed folks are not very happy as a rule - so, how can that "expense" be eliminated in an equitable manner (now, no huff others - I'm not saying that irresponsible borrowing being rewarded for some staff, that would make most of the remaining others very unhappy - so, tread carefully) Maybe you can set up a pre-tax fund they can contribute to and pay those loans on pre-tax dollars (now I know the feds don't allow - so, you great happy hospital will pay those taxes for those staffers off probation and enrolled in your incentive loan repayment program). Also, have a financial counselor available to staff with loan debt - assuming the employee borrowers set an aggressive repayment program and stay employed for years - the happy hospital will forgive and pay the remaining debt at 10 years service. It has to be fair and proportional - but, this would be a program to make other very happy. Same rules for anyone returning to school that will have to incur debt beyond what educational allowance is offered.

Knowledge is POWER - and empowered staff are involved and likely, really HAPPY about it! The best investment an employer can make is in it's #1 resource. STAFF.

* Facilities, Equipment and Supplies. We gotta have what we need to do our jobs in this area as well.

- Nice serene surroundings. ✔

- Private staff areas where one can go on break and meals (or if they need to regroup - to cry, scream or whatever - to get back to smiles!) that is comfortable, secure and away from patients. Everyone needs a few down minutes with the jobs we do. ✔

- SAFE, well-lit generous parking for staff. ✔

- SECURITY officers - more than what you think you may need - really. Make them LEO's and armed! Safe=HAPPY! ✔

- ALL Private rooms for patients. Private spacious baths in patient rooms. Enough seating in patient rooms and a pull out sofa for family that needs to stay/will not leave. ✔

- Enough - BP cuffs, monitors, crash carts, thermometers (yes even that, once there was 2 in one 24 bed ED I worked in and I was unhappy most of the time I had to look for one!), IV pumps-poles that work, wheelchairs, warming/cooling blankets, durable medical equipment (how can PT teach crutch walking if the patient has to go to their pharmacy for crutches - safety makes me happy!), sheets, towels, blankets and warmers to put 'em in, supply carts are alway well-stocked and available! Add enough desk space with computers and systems that are intuitive - makes me able to focus more on patients and less on charting/administrative tasks. Add a communication systems so that we can find who we need to talk to with minimal disruptions. Also, those RFID tags that focus on my "productivity" - toss 'em - they are insulting and if you make all that I need available to do my job and treat me as noted - you will not have to monitor my productivity - it will not even be a question. ✔

- Mini-pharmacies on every unit - for those essential STAT meds/fluids that are needed right away. A specially trained and experienced pharmacy tech on every unit/24-7 would add an important layer of safety to medication administration and be a valuable resource. ✔

- Rethink your OP services and inpatient services. Having a potential PE in an inpatient have to WAIT due to the one CT being in use by an outpatient is not a good practice. Have the capital equipment to do our jobs well - makes your job a happy one too. Add what is clearly needed. Anytime there is just one of anything - rethink it and remember redundant systems save lives! ✔

- Think wellness for your staff. On-site gyms, daycare and staff/immediate family urgent care would ensure our health and family needs are vital to you. Add wellness classes (yoga, meditation, exercise) and 24-7 massage available (a 15 minute chair massage in the midst of a shift from hell has saved my life! - really!) and have pastoral care available to staff that needs to talk to someone - we deal with the tough stuff - show me you recognize my needs and meet them and I will be back to smiling a lot faster. ✔

See there are MANY ways to make happy work for everyone!

Come on administration and management - want a HAPPY hospital - get busy and remember - this mandate makes you look disconnected and silly - a real smile comes from the eyes and heart. :)

Poi Dog · Sep 26, 2011

Wow.
Wow.
Wow.
Thank GOD they came up with a policy - now I know that HAPPY will just HAPPEN - ALWAYS!
Just when you think you have encountered every BONEHEAD piece of administrative garbage ever written and now this little JEWEL appears. Wow. Just wow.
Do these "policy" folks realize that THEY (never mind you, they are not thinking about you!) work in a HOSPITAL - a H-O-S-P-I-T-A-L - you know that place where the good flight occurs - LIFE vs. DEATH. Where "HAPPY" moments are few and far between in most areas.
Imagine the "joy" this will inspire - running to help? Better be smiling!!!!
Beep....Beep......Beep.........Beep...............Beep...................
Beep..............................Beep.............................................
Beeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeep!
Followed by "CODE BLUE Room 123 - come on guys be as happy as can be!"
:hpygrp: :hpygrp: :hpygrp:
or Grand Rounding that starts with administration teams breaking into SONG -
If you're HAPPY and you KNOW it - CLAP YOUR HANDS! :yeah:

If you're HAPPY and you KNOW it - CLAP YOUR HANDS!

If your HAPPY and you KNOW it - CLAP YOUR HANDS!

If you're HAPPY and you KNOW it - THEN YOUR FACE WILL REALLY SHOW IT -
and by the last verse ANYONE that is not following them around and singing merrily GET'S TO JUST GO HOME!
Just when you thought it was SAFE to think about getting back to the hospital - this kind of BS reminds me why I left!
Well, it doesn't happy often, but this is a new one on me.
I'm inspired!
Seriously, OP - this is one of the most insulting policies (to staff and patients) I have seen in a long time. Almost offensive. I certainly hope that they are working on policies to increase my happiness -
It seems like your hospital - just DOES NOT GET IT!
WE are so customer service oriented that we have mandated every mood but HAPPY and JOYFUL out of our work staff - so, if you come here to die - make no mistake WE WILL BE ALL HAPPY ABOUT IT ? or we will be sent home to have a drink *wine
Ridiculous.
Maybe there is ANOTHER way or a few dozen that will make the HAPPY MANDATE unnecessary...maybe making a workforce happy would be the answer!
Listen up there hospital folks - want happy staff (happy everyone for that matter) read on-
* INCREASE staff - ER 1:1 critical/major 1:2 really sick 1:3 sick 1:4 everywhere else with a floatRN and assistive staffer for every 10 in patient capacity! All tele/admit beds 1:4 with a floatRN and assistive staffer for every 8 in patient capacity! ICU/CCU 1:2 with a float RN and assistive staffer for every 4 patients! Ancillary - lab/radiology/dietary/PT/materials/transport - whatever you got now - double it and add 2 assistive staff minimum per area for every 50 patients admitted or 100 seen as outpatients.
If there is enough staff to do my job well (as opposed to feeling overwhelmed and running about like my hair is on fire!) I will be smiling a lot more!
* Less management and more LEADERSHIP. You got to focus on the RIGHT things or everything goes WRONG! If you do not know what this means - ask till you find the answer!
* Float pool/PRN folks - add one for every FTE per area. Now why so many? See below. Oh yeah - take their top dollars and double them. More below.
* Hoildays/Vacation - one thing that makes me really - HAPPY!? Being with my family during the holidays - just like you are! If we have enough Float/PRN staff and pay them well - for this primo pay require that they work 2 major/1 minor holidays each winter/spring. Oh yeah - those vacation days that have to be "cashed in" cause I cannot find my own vacation coverage - that will STOP. Now. oh yeah - 3 weeks vacation the first year and add another each year till you have 8 weeks - after 8 weeks (5 years) add a bonus to the holiday check - $500 for every year of service above 5, $1K for every year above 10. You will have way less turnover! And that is something for everyone - staff, management and PATIENTS will really smile about!
If there are enough resources that I can truly REST and RECHARGE - and spend enough time away from whatever happy fresh hell walks in when I am at "work" - well, that will really make me smile! 12 hour shift day = 12 hour vacation or paid day. No more of this hours conversion crap - a day is day is a day.
* Money. Yep, that! You know there comes a time to put up or shut up. Look at your staff (not during happy mandate - but, when they get out of their vehicles!) if they look tense, stressed or weary - there is a reason why and it's not gonna be a HAPPY one. Money is the #1 stressor in folks lives and also the reason most folks work. If the money issue is resolved - life will be HAPPIER! RN salaries should start at the $30 an hour rate (add % increase to adjust for your area COLA) and increase 5-10% per year for experience, education and credentials. Also, there is something called a yearly COLA - it levels your "milk money" - add it automatically - just follow the feds! COLA protects staff (and you!) from inflation and makes your money worth this year what it was last year - and that is something to smile about too!
Money may not buy happiness - but, if I feel financially secure - you can bet that I will be more inclined to be deliriously HAPPY!
* Education is important - offer everyone 5 PAID education/conference days and $2500 to spend on education every year. Knowledge is power - so if they are going to conferences, taking advanced classes and being INVOLVED in professional organizations and activities - everyone wins! Also, some of these staffers are carrying heavy student loans - surely there is something that can be done about that problem. 100K for a second degree BSN - robbery! Robbed folks are not very happy as a rule - so, how can that "expense" be eliminated in an equitable manner (now, no huff others - I'm not saying that irresponsible borrowing being rewarded for some staff, that would make most of the remaining others very unhappy - so, tread carefully) Maybe you can set up a pre-tax fund they can contribute to and pay those loans on pre-tax dollars (now I know the feds don't allow - so, you great happy hospital will pay those taxes for those staffers off probation and enrolled in your incentive loan repayment program). Also, have a financial counselor available to staff with loan debt - assuming the employee borrowers set an aggressive repayment program and stay employed for years - the happy hospital will forgive and pay the remaining debt at 10 years service. It has to be fair and proportional - but, this would be a program to make other very happy. Same rules for anyone returning to school that will have to incur debt beyond what educational allowance is offered.
Knowledge is POWER - and empowered staff are involved and likely, really HAPPY about it! The best investment an employer can make is in it's #1 resource. STAFF.
* Facilities, Equipment and Supplies. We gotta have what we need to do our jobs in this area as well.
- Nice serene surroundings. ✔
- Private staff areas where one can go on break and meals (or if they need to regroup - to cry, scream or whatever - to get back to smiles!) that is comfortable, secure and away from patients. Everyone needs a few down minutes with the jobs we do. ✔
- SAFE, well-lit generous parking for staff. ✔
- SECURITY officers - more than what you think you may need - really. Make them LEO's and armed! Safe=HAPPY! ✔
- ALL Private rooms for patients. Private spacious baths in patient rooms. Enough seating in patient rooms and a pull out sofa for family that needs to stay/will not leave. ✔
- Enough - BP cuffs, monitors, crash carts, thermometers (yes even that, once there was 2 in one 24 bed ED I worked in and I was unhappy most of the time I had to look for one!), IV pumps-poles that work, wheelchairs, warming/cooling blankets, durable medical equipment (how can PT teach crutch walking if the patient has to go to their pharmacy for crutches - safety makes me happy!), sheets, towels, blankets and warmers to put 'em in, supply carts are alway well-stocked and available! Add enough desk space with computers and systems that are intuitive - makes me able to focus more on patients and less on charting/administrative tasks. Add a communication systems so that we can find who we need to talk to with minimal disruptions. Also, those RFID tags that focus on my "productivity" - toss 'em - they are insulting and if you make all that I need available to do my job and treat me as noted - you will not have to monitor my productivity - it will not even be a question. ✔
- Mini-pharmacies on every unit - for those essential STAT meds/fluids that are needed right away. A specially trained and experienced pharmacy tech on every unit/24-7 would add an important layer of safety to medication administration and be a valuable resource. ✔
- Rethink your OP services and inpatient services. Having a potential PE in an inpatient have to WAIT due to the one CT being in use by an outpatient is not a good practice. Have the capital equipment to do our jobs well - makes your job a happy one too. Add what is clearly needed. Anytime there is just one of anything - rethink it and remember redundant systems save lives! ✔
- Think wellness for your staff. On-site gyms, daycare and staff/immediate family urgent care would ensure our health and family needs are vital to you. Add wellness classes (yoga, meditation, exercise) and 24-7 massage available (a 15 minute chair massage in the midst of a shift from hell has saved my life! - really!) and have pastoral care available to staff that needs to talk to someone - we deal with the tough stuff - show me you recognize my needs and meet them and I will be back to smiling a lot faster. ✔
See there are MANY ways to make happy work for everyone!
Come on administration and management - want a HAPPY hospital - get busy and remember - this mandate makes you look disconnected and silly - a real smile comes from the eyes and heart. :)

What a fantastic post.

If you're happy and you know it, press your call light :smokin:

Ruby Vee, BSN · Sep 26, 2011

i hate perky.