The Bittersweet Finish Line

[Toomuchcoffee]

Finally.

My cohort and I have finally made it through the gauntlet and to the exit of the labyrinth known as nursing school. We wrapped up our last final only a few days prior, and last night celebrated our 2.5 years (5 semesters) of hard work and dedication in the nursing program with the time-honored tradition pinning ceremony, and what a night of emotions it was.

My cohort consists of 28 people in a baccalaureate program, and all throughout we remained in the same lectures with rotating around in clinical groups, but otherwise on the same schedule for the last 2.5 years. The conditions and stress with which we were put under created a camaraderie of us vs the program”, and upon triumphing resulted in what will be eternal bonds of friendship between people. It wasn't until last night when celebrating and going through the speeches and watching a movie montage of clips from our first to our last semester did it hit me what we had created as a cohort, and with that came a barrage of thoughts.

As I sat there I reflected on all of the work we had done for the past 2.5 years. The countless hours on those forsaken careplans; the hours spent sitting in lectures; the stressing out over completion of group projects before the deadline; the sometimes poor clinical hospital assignment where the culture is toxic; the snarky nurses who hate students; the endless studying for exams and ATIs!! All of those were things I wouldn't miss, but at the same time feeling a small sense of loss, because say what you want, they were a part of your life and helped mold you into a better person.

The real heartbreak though came when I thought about what it meant to not have to return next semester because we were finished. No more us; no more cohort; no more struggling together; no more gathering at the same place on the same day with amazing friends; no more BSing around to pass the time; no more practical jokes; no more laughing till we're crying; no more sharing crazy clinical experiences; no more seeing the most amazing and supportive faculty; no more celebrating together after defeating the evil ATIs; no more. The bitter sweetness of it all.

Hearts felt heavy as we all sat there watching the video and reminisced for what felt like would be the last time as one entire unit under the same roof. Most would describe me as the tough guy” who won't show his true emotions in public, but I'll be damned because someone was definitely cutting onions around me last night and at the same time I didn't care because everyone knew what I also knew this meant, and you could see it in their eyes and hear it in their voices as we hugged and parted ways.

I write all this I suppose as a way for me to decompress and digest what has been an experience many never have, and something I hope everyone who is in nursing school feels upon graduation. Because if you feel similar to this than that could only mean your experience was also impactful and meaningful on your life, and very well resulted in a stronger, wiser and better person. I encourage those who are still in the process to keep trucking along; even in your lowest moments do not give up and reach out for support if you have to, and the same applies to even those who are currently practicing. I and many others had to lean on each other several times during this journey, and the result was having the experiences, memories, and now friendships that will last a lifetime.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

Put all of that in your rear-view mirror. Time to move on and embrace real life/real career.

[Sour Lemon]

When I finished, my thoughts were something along the lines of, "Peace out!".

[Davey Do]

Put all of that in your rear-view mirror. Time to move on and embrace real life/real career.

Oh roser13! Aren't you a slap-in-the-face realist! OOPS! (Almost had a head-on collision with reality while looking in my rear view mirror!)

Very nice post, Toomuchcoffee. Perhaps you will be lucky enough to find a similar situation in reality.

They're out there. I've been in some.

Good luck and the best to you!

[CCU BSN RN]

I agree. I miss nursing school and I wish I'd had more time to appreciate the comraderie and built-in friends. We all kept in touch in a facebook group for a few months while we were struggling to find jobs and pass boards. Once we all got jobs and passed and moved on, we lost touch as a group. I keep in touch with the few I was close friends with, but we did something that felt (at the time) like the most difficult thing we'd ever endured. We bonded.

And when I got my first job, I ended up having that same comraderie with the other new grads. We were navigating a new, difficult battlefield together.

It's not the specific people, it's the comraderie and teamwork of being in something together. Any good job will have that for you.