Terrified

klone, MSN, RN · Jan 8, 2015

What you're feeling is very normal, I would say. In fact, much of what you describe is why I left the midwifery program (except I was out $10,000, instead of a few hundred). However, I work with midwives on a daily basis, both very experienced and brand-new minted. My advice is to just take it as it comes, and when you're looking for work after you graduate, make sure you take a job where there is a lot of support and backup from other midwives. The midwives I work with, even the ones who have 20 years of experience, are always collaborating with each other, bouncing ideas and questions off each other, and consulting when they're not sure of the answer.

If you work in a hospital setting, you will always have backup from the physicians. Feeling overwhelmed by the level of responsibility is NORMAL.

**LibraSunCNM, BSN, MSN, CNM** · Jan 8, 2015

I agree, very normal. My first semester of clinicals in midwifery school I had a TON of anxiety, not so much about the responsibility involved, liability-wise (for some reason that has never bothered me much), but about the breadth of knowledge I would have to be responsible for. I also had a very unsupportive and incompetent professor, who stressed our whole class out even more. She quit one month into the semester, things settled in, and I made it through. Should you continue? I would say give it a little more time, but obviously only you can really answer that. For me, catching that first baby made all the other stuff fade away, and I have no regrets thus far.

queenanneslace, ADN, MSN, APRN, CNM · Jan 9, 2015

One thing that I have found to be true about midwifery is that it pushes you physically, emotionally and spiritually. There is a sense that you have to be deeply called to this profession - I honestly don't know how someone could be a midwife without feeling a deep devotion to it.

Midwifery is HARD.

On so many levels.

Depending on the day - or year - or minute - I find myself questioning my career path. And it has been a winding, spiraling path toward midwifery.

It is very easy to get sucked into the fear-of-being-sued mentality - because in some OB practices - that's all providers and nurses talk about - and that fear guides their practice.

I keep coming back to my desire to be 'with-woman.' And to provide the excellent type of care that is provided by midwives. Women will always have babies - and there will always be a need for professional care givers - nurses, midwives, physicians - to provide care to women in labor and birth.

Midwifery pushes me to be the best I can be. And most days, I accept that challenge. I think it's normal to question it! Well, it's normal for me! Because I question it all the time! It is hard work, but it is good work.

You will not lose anything by pursuing midwifery and by gaining knowledge and experience in midwifery school. If you learn more, and decide midwifery is not right for you, you will still have valuable knowledge gained that you can apply to other areas of your professional life. What I'm saying is: Don't stop before you've started! If midwifery is what you want, go for it! And don't let your fear over-run your decision-making. We all have fears and doubts (well, I can't speak for everyone - but the sentiment seems pretty common.)

Katie71275 · Jan 14, 2015

I agree with all the other posters and know completely how you feel. I am a labor and delivery nurse and will apply for CNM school this coming Fall for Fall 2016 admittance(hopefully). It's very scary to know that YOU(in general) are in charge. That is one reason that I want to work in a hospital setting with OB docs(or residents/attendings) available for backup. Birthing babies is amazing, but can also go very scary, very quick. The best thing you can do is jump in and get experience especially while you are in school and while others are in charge. Debrief on situations that come up and how you could have handled the situation differently(or not), and practice drills on what you would/should do in certain situations.

cayenne06, MSN, CNM · Jan 16, 2015

I tell prospective students that midwifery is a CRAPPY job. The hours suck, the pay is not as good as it should be, the responsibility is immense, and you absolutely WILL have bad outcomes. Being a midwife is the worst job in the world. Unless, of course, you love it. Then there is nothing else.

It is a good thing that you are worried about and cognizant of the huge responsibility that midwives have. It is not something to take lightly. I would never be happy with a career as an LDRP nurse (I work as one right now, so I know). But, I know plenty of CNMs who work as LDRP RNs for whatever reason, so I would encourage you to stick with it. Assuming, of course, that you feel the pull towards the profession. Midwifery is a lifestyle, not a job. It colors every aspect of your life.

AB1489 · Jan 20, 2015

Hi there, I am feeling like I am in the exact same place as you. I am currently taking an academic hiatus at Frontier and am literally changing my mind daily about whether or not I want to continue my path to becoming a midwife. I began school this fall the same exact day that I began a job at a hospital in my area that did over 11,000 births last year, and has the most high-risk patients in the area. So, needless to say, I have seen quite a few emergencies in my short time here and it has scared the crap out of me. I keep going back and forth thinking...do I really want this responsibility, this schedule, this fear of being sued? But then I also think, who wouldn't want to be with women on potentially one of the most amazing days of their lives, see that beautiful baby come into the world, and help these women know how truly strong they are?

Sometimes I wonder if I want to become a midwife because I care about the principle of midwifery, and essentially women's rights, but do I actually need to be the person doing it? Can I just be an advocate, or do I need to be the midwife?

Sorry that this did not answer your question, but hopefully it at least let you know that someone else out there has similar fears and indecision. Good luck to you!