the ten most hilarious excuses by patients for more pain medications.

[pmccarthy287]

whats the funniest excuse you have ever heard for a patient wanting more pain medication?We all have had some whoppers,but with going on 16 years of nursing experiance in various hospitals these are some of the most creative ive ever heard.ALso i addded my thoughts at the time.

1."I think im going to have pain in an hour,can i get some pain medication now?" (i almost gave pain meds because it cracked me up )

2."The last pain shot you just gave me didn't work, im going to need another." (forget it not going to happen)

3."I just transfered in from the ER and they said you would give me pain medication." (if they said that, why does your chart say you got pain meds in the ER?)

4."The doctor was just here and he upped my pain medication." (that's odd, i didn't see him )

5.(the patient calls nurse to room) "Its time for my pain shot." (cell phone alarm heard beeping in the background prior to that the pt was sleeping.)

6."My pain is a 11 on a 1-10 scale!" (yup i can see that your pain is bad,its must be so bad your ordering pizza?)

7 (During assesment and discussing pain scale)"my pain is a 10!" (pt is watching tv and feet are crossed while talking on cellphone)

8."Im going to need my percocet,ambien,ativan and soma,so i can sleep tonight." (yup, you will sleep alright and you will wake up when we vote the next president in )

9."I didnt take my pain meds this morning before coming to the ER and im in pain. (Riggght sure you didn't)

10."Morphine dones't work for me im going to need somthing stronger." (they sell really strong stuff out in the street if you change your mind)

Hope you enjoyed it and lets hear what they tried to sneak past you!

[Nibbles1]

A lady set her alarm. She hit her call light. I need my pain pill. I take it to her. She's pale gray, drool coming from her mouth drenching her pillow. And out like a light. Respirations 7. Heart rate 45. Umm, no norco for you.

[roser13, ASN, RN]

"I don't want to bother you on your break, which will probably be when my PRN is due. So I'll take it now."

[xoemmylouox, ASN, RN]

"I don't want to bother you on your break, which will probably be when my PRN is due. So I'll take it now."

They were only being considerate

[heron, ASN, RN]

Reading some of the things people find to be funny can be really enlightening. Some of these made me giggle, others made me cringe.

11 out of my 40+ years on the job, I worked on a dedicated AIDS unit in a state hospital in Massachusetts. The games addicts play are exhausting and laughing at some of the more ridiculous stuff that goes on is a prime survival tool.

If I didn't laugh at it, I'd get too angry to work, and I need my job. Am working now with an LTC resident who is in perpetual 10/10 pain. We've learned to tell the difference between when res is buzz-seeking vs. struggling with arthritis and a migraine from residual brain damage. Usually, if my right hip hurts, res is gonna need something stronger than tylenol, too. Res never gets more than one or two doses of narc a day and not usually for more than a single day. If getting high helps res to sleep through the change in the weather, then better living through chemistry, I say. Otherwise, it's two tylenol and come back in an hour if it doesn't work. Res seldom comes back. Meanwhile, it's entertaining watching res revving up the drama when res sees a new face.

Since HIPAA precludes knowing anything about the patients involved, I have no idea whether the patient who set calmly set her phone alarm was a gamer, or a chronic pain patient who is skilled at her own pain management. (Think about it ... some really good nurses do the same thing to keep track of multiple time frames ... a med due or a blood transfusion to check.) She could even be both.

The pale gray drooler with a slow pulse is either having a heart attack or is a really good actor ... symptoms are consistent with actively dying. I didn't laugh at that one

[Brekka, ADN, RN]

Patient: "I need another percocet, I threw up the one you gave me."

Me: "When did that happen? Can I see?"

Patient: *shows me a kleenex with some clear saliva inside.*

Me: "I can give you some Tylenol."

Patient: "No, that's ok, I'll wait for the next one."

Patient: "My daughter said that I need to take a pain pill."

Me: "Are you in any pain?"

Patient: "No."

Patient: "I think you need to get the doctor to prescribe me something really strong for pain."

Me: "Are you having any pain?"

Patient: "No, but I have a buddy whose cousin had something like this once, and he said he had a lot of pain."

[Christy1019, ASN, RN]

Pt comes in for high BP, states "I'm allergic to all blood pressure medicines, you'll have to give me dilaudid, it works every time, and I wouldn't wanna have a stroke or anything"

Insert eye rolling lol