Sunday October 15 2023

[Joe NightingMale, MSN, RN]

Stars I am glad you were able to be with him until the end, and continue to give him support.  I'll be keeping you in prayer and your family.  I'm glad that in the end his wishes and yours were respected, and that his daughter came to understand this was the best course

TMB I tend to agree, we can return to old patterns on the death of a parent

Dianah glad the new computer arrived

NJ22 hopefully the sales staff will make it easier for me

Ado I'm glad you were able to get it working

Hi Tweety

Did CEUs in the morning yesterday as it was raining,  ran an errand or two, then had lunch with dad.  In the evening instead of watching Three Stooges reruns I've decided to start trying new shows on Netfix, have begun giving Outlander a try

The potluck was good and helped by the lack of rain in the evening.  Smaller crowd than usual, only 2 or 3 dozen people.  Conversation is always good at these things

Today after (or maybe before) church I have cooking, most of this evening  will be spent setting up and taking down for the jazz concert tonight,  hope it's a success

Another day in the upper 50s, hopefully rain will hold off

 

[abbnurse]

(((((STARS))))  sending you a big huge hug.   And I hope it comforts you to know that his passing was peaceful .  The last thing he heard was your voice, that voice he loved for many years.  Hugs and prayers to you !   ❤️     

[No Stars In My Eyes]

Thank you abb and Crunch for your posts. And of course "the usual suspects" here I am in touch with regularly.

My sister has sent me lots of info and links to refer to, and a list of do's and don'ts. And I want to go by the lawyers office and the SS office here in town tomorrow.

My SiL is coming by later, though truthfully I kind of wish she wouldn't; she already did the obligatory food drop off. Neighbors are GREAT and have been more help to me all along than his relatives; NOW they are wanting to know what I need them to do! A bit late on that, but they have to live with that, not me. 

 Since my brother-in-law is diabetic, I am giving him whatever of hubby's diabetic supplies he can use. I also gave his dgt the necklace with a cross that he always wore; I won't wear it because it is gold and the cross itself is kind of 'fancy'. Besides, I only wear silver, but I really don't wear much jewelry at all. I don't care that it was expensive when we bought it, I know his dgt will wear it and cherish it, and he would be glad for that.

I am having coffee so I can wake up a little more. Last night when I was going to put Nannie to bed (an hour earlier than usual so *I* could rest.) She indicated the chair where hubby always sat here in the den, and she said, "Is he gone now?" I told her yes, he passed away. She frowned and shook her head. I will probably be doing a lot of that because of her dementia and lack of memory.

Later, y'all---

[No Stars In My Eyes]

Amazingly enough, SiL came back by with MORE food. I gave her the supplies her husband would be able to use for his diabetes. We talked a lot; she told me that Nannie had an insurance policy on my hubby, which is good to know. (Unless hubby had already cashed it in; I am not sure about that.) But she said that hubby's bro said that even if Nannie passed, I still have a place to live, here. The house is actually too big for me, but it is good to know I don't HAVE TO move, even if Nannie eventually goes into a nursing home. She said, "You have certainly put in your time and then some, so I don't want you to worry about any of that. We are not going to take anything from you, or push anything on you that you don't want done. IF you want help with something, all you have to do is call us."

I told her I was going to take my time doing the sorting and cleaning, and I do actually prefer to do that myself. There will be times when I need help, but not until I run across whatever it might be. SiL is coming over tomorrow around 11 AM, and I can go to the SS office and his (our) lawyer's office. (and then finally go to get my nails done!) I have to call the 02 place to come get their equipment. SiL knows of several places that will take donations, like Nannie's two unused walkers. I can also get Salvation Army to come get some of the useless (to us) furniture, and/or "Got Junk?" to haul off the two sets of old box springs and mattresses that are not usable by anybody. I also decided to clean out hubby's dresser so *I* will finally have a place to put away my clothes, and that will help me get MY room straightened up! 

I've got Nannie up and fed and medicated, so she is already well on her way to her daily afternoon nap. Momo and I are snugged up together on the sofa. There is a cricket in here somewhere, but that doesn't bother me. I hope the fly that was bugging Momo last night has died or gone out or is in another room. She was watching it and leaping at it, trying to bite it out of the air. If she was a bigger dog, I'm sure she would have nabbed it by now.

Like I said, I am going to do much of the things at my leisure, and only take care of the immediate necessities for legalities during this next week.

One thing I am looking forward to (really!) that hubby didn't want me to do, is clean out the kitchen cupboards of things we didn't use, things like the TWELVE year old packages of jello that are all solid bricks by now! And SiL or niece can have any of the ultra-large containers and stuff one might use for church suppers and the like. Maybe donate to the church the big punch bowl and cups. I want to pack up the 24 matching glasses taking up space but never used, etc. At some point I will need help digging out the shed, and I will probably rent a big container for trash at that time, since I expect to find a lot of mildewed and mouse-used things. I am actually going to be donating some of Nannie's old size 12 clothes she will never be able to fit into again, and will never miss being gone. Do NOT want to 'sell on ebay', nor do I want to have a yard sale.

Anyway, as I always say....I'm sure I will be back by here later on today.

Again, thanks for all the kind words and support and suggestions. You guys are my 'family' now, and I appreciate you so much!

[nursej22, MSN, RN]

Stars, in reading your posts, it seems that a huge weight has been lifted off, despite your loss. Good news indeed, that the in-laws are not going to boot you out. Pace yourself, but you may have more energy now? Good idea to clean out cupboards, and let family take some dishes, if they so desire. I've been donating old serving dishes to the Humane Society thrift store, and I've going to pull down the punch bowl and send that along. 

Netflix has certainly taken a downturn on offerings. Fewer movies and more weird series. I almost never watch things on cable or network because the commercials are so tiresome. I see/hear plenty when dh is watching sports ball. I've been thinking about getting something called Passport on PBS, so I can watch more british series. 

I got my flu and covid shots yesterday. I had an appointment on Thursday at the major chain pharmacy, cuz I thought they were the only ones stocking it. When I showed up, the staff person seemed quite irritated that I was there, and pointed out my appointment wasn't until the following Thursday. And she said this as she was standing next to the large sign that said "COVID shots by appointment or walk-in." So when I found out my nice, little local pharmacy had them, I said yes, please. My arm is a little sore, but I feel fine, otherwise. The weather is partly cloudy, partly sunny, in the 50s. The dogs have been running zoomies out the door, around the deck, then back inside and circle the living room. I've pinned a large bath towel over the hole they dug in the love seat arm. Little demons. Cute, but devious. I'm thinking about going to another bike store to look at electric bikes. There certainly is no shortage of bike dealers in this area. 

 

[No Stars In My Eyes]

Got a call from my brother-in-law, and he said they will help me with anything I need help with, and then he said maybe in a few weeks "we can go out to supper and talk." 

Good thing I will be going by the lawyer's office tomorrow, though! BiL said I don't have to worry about where I was going to live; I almost, but didn't say, well, you know everything is left to me in both Nannie's and hubby's wills. I know he has been left 1/2 of 1% the price of the house and property, but that doesn't go into effect until Nannie takes "the stairway to heaven"....or down the slide to the lower realms: I can't even pretend to know which way she'll be headed when the time comes. My SiL said something earlier that set off a small "ping" in my brain....something about my hubby getting half and his brother getting half, if/when this place is sold.  Yuh, I don't think so! But I'll let the lawyer step in for me on that, especially if their thoughts are that they will benefit more than they think they actually will be benefiting, when Nannie dies. They are also saying that, if Nannie has to be placed in a nursing home.....blah-blah-blah. I'm not going to fret, though. I know that as the only remaining living blood-relative to Nannie, he may be able to get a toe in the door, BUT....Nannie is NOT the one who passed away yesterday, so Ppfftt to anything they may eventually try to hatch with regards to that! 

More to say, but no inclination right this moment to add it here. It's time to heat up the food SiL brought over, BBQ, for supper. If it is a chewy as the previous BBQ she brought months ago, Nannie can eat it and I can find something else to eat! 

 

[Tweety, BSN, RN]

G'day!

Stars, I'm glad that side of the family is at least putting lip service to being supportive.  You take care of his mother solo now so even though they have been zero help at least they aren't being absent.  Sounds like they may be in for a wake up call soon enough.  

I can say it now, but work while it had its moments wasn't too bad.  None of us had a bad shift today which is unusual since someone or multiple nurses are drowning at all times.

Off for three days.  

[Ado Annie, ASN, RN]

My stomach acted up again so after watching a spooky movie with Hubs (Rooom 1408 with John Cusack) I've been moping about the bedroom. Yesterday we watched Dracula Dead and Loving It. I remembered laughing so hard at that movie years ago but while it was funny this time around it wasn't *that* funny. Mel Brooks was born the same day as my dad and is 97 years old. 

Having a stress test and echocardiogram tomorrow morning. Must be up earlier than usual so feeling a little anxious all the way around. 

[No Stars In My Eyes]

Ado, hope your tests go well and your anxiety and stomach BEHAVE and not give you any grief.

So, After I got a text from SiL that hubby's brother said I ought to see about having Eddie's name removed from the deed to the house and property and have my name put on it, ALONG with HER husband's name! I don't know that his brother has his name on the deed any more; but I will let the lawyer see the text to see what he thinks.

I am starting to smell a skunk.

I went upstairs and looked through hubby's dresser drawers and got some stacks of paper that might be important. I also found our wills, thank goodness, and I bagged some other things to place in my car while I am out, because I can't look through it all tonight. Frankly I don't trust that my SiL being here for several hours while I am out, I just wouldn't put it past her to go poking around. 

***So get this:  I put 3x5 index cards in every one of hubby's dresser drawers AND in each side of the closet, which each essentially said variations like these:   " BOO! There's nothing in here of any importance to you," and "Stop snooping" ,and "Stay out of my stuff!", and "No need to be so nosy". ?  If she does snoop and gets insulted by the notes, she sure can't say anything to me about them without giving herself away. I may use the old 007 trick of wetting a hair and attaching it to any drawer or door that should stay closed, and if the hair is off from where I placed it, I can tell if she has been snooping. Isn't it terrible to have to be so suspicious? But also rather wise, I believe.

[No Stars In My Eyes]

PS: I am also taking my laptop with me!

[toomuchbaloney]

Stars, you are wise to have an attorney look at the wills right away.  One thing that I learned from hospice is that some family can be "combative" and possessive about the belongings and finances of elders at end of life. The fact that hubby preceded her in death may complicate things.  I hope not.  

The Lord's mercies are new every day.  I'm praying that you step in some unexpected mercy in the coming days.