I just wanted to let people know that I was an A student in school and I graduated with highest honors. I worked my butt off to be at the top of my classes, and was even granted the opportunity to co-teach classes and head my own fully funded research team. It was very humbling and terrifying to go into the NCLEX feeling as if everything I had ever worked for was on the line and fail, and then fail again. Not to mention I was a single parent, so I had my children depending on my passing. The magnitude of these failures had a huge impact on my emotional well being. I did every single review book imaginable. I KNEW the material and I could perform at home and in review courses, despite people claiming that maybe I didn't know it as well as I thought. After two failures, and reading some of the absolutely ridiculous forums on here from fellow nurses saying that they wouldn't want to be cared for by someone who had failed the NCLEX more than 2x, I decided to leave nursing all together. I literally stopped studying for months and my anxiety subsided over time as I came to terms with my new decision. I felt horrible though. Not to point fingers (but not that you can help it at that point), but I started thinking about all the people in my nursing program who barely squeaked by, and cut every corner to get ahead, and yet still passed on the NCLEX on their first try. I started wondering to myself if I'd really want those people caring for me in the hospital. So, on a whim, and on the continued pressure of friends and family, I decided to try again. I went into the NCLEX and literally gave it my best/weakest effort. I know that must not make sense, but I think that not seeing myself as a nurse, really helped me forget what I had to lose. To my complete and utter surprise, and contrary to what the review classes warned, I passed.
I wanted to share this story for two reasons. First, anyone out there who has failed must know that the NCLEX is NOT a reflection of your intelligence or ability to be a good nurse. I know plenty of nurses out there who really shouldn't be in the field and they passed on their first time and they are terrible with patients and make many mistakes on the job. I am not discrediting those who are great nurses and have passed on the first time, but I just think that the NCLEX itself doesn't "make" the nurse per say.
Secondly, the one thing I regret in how I did everything was that by losing confidence in myself and walking away from nursing, I made it extremely difficult to come back to it after I passed. I had a lot of thinking to do and it was a hard decision to come to. If I could do it all over again, I wouldn't have let the things I did bother me and I wouldn't have walked away.
For anyone out there who hasn't passed, I am truly sorry. Please know that there are plenty of nurses out there who will always support you and know that you are much more than an exam, which hardly represents all that you covered and worked for in nursing school. If you can, try not to make the mistake I did in walking away from it. It has taken a lot of hard work for me to come back to it and believe I can do it, and now I think I am an amazing nurse. It's a great thing I came back!
My test anxiety was so bad....it was truly unreal. I, myself, was even shocked! My hands trembled, my mouth was dry, I had to read and re-read the question. I got things mixed up that I had never gotten mixed up before. I had racing, distracting thoughts DURING the exam like "How will I tell my boss I failed?" (I was already working). "My position will be given to someone else as I work as a nursing assistant", etc etc...I also felt unfairly judged and actually, kind of cheated. I was denied the opportunity to "prove myself", I thought. I was a very good student and a safe student nurse. To have a handful of poorly worded, awful questions determining my fate was hideously unnerving and unfair. I wasn't asked anything I knew well. It felt like an inaccurate assessment of my knowledge and skills. I wasn't asked questions about popular and dangerous medications (digoxin anyone?). I was asked bizarre questions on rare disease processes - things we never covered in school! I had a ton of SATA and hard, hard priority - you can't study for those! Anyway, the anxiety nearly killed me. I still cannot believe I passed. I feel for anyone who has failed it. Just don't give up!
Still-in-Shock has new meaning for me now! I actually PASSED! Now I have to figure out what to do with the envelope containing my retake application that I prepared yesterday!:wink2: I guess I will keep it as a momento! HA! Thank you minidoxiemama! You were the one who allowed me to hold on to that shred of hope! You're an angel! And you're a RN like me!!!!!
My test anxiety was so bad....it was truly unreal. I, myself, was even shocked! My hands trembled, my mouth was dry, I had to read and re-read the question. I got things mixed up that I had never gotten mixed up before. I had racing, distracting thoughts DURING the exam like "How will I tell my boss I failed?" (I was already working). "My position will be given to someone else as I work as a nursing assistant", etc etc...I also felt unfairly judged and actually, kind of cheated. I was denied the opportunity to "prove myself", I thought. I was a very good student and a safe student nurse. To have a handful of poorly worded, awful questions determining my fate was hideously unnerving and unfair. I wasn't asked anything I knew well. It felt like an inaccurate assessment of my knowledge and skills. I wasn't asked questions about popular and dangerous medications (digoxin anyone?). I was asked bizarre questions on rare disease processes - things we never covered in school! I had a ton of SATA and hard, hard priority - you can't study for those! Anyway, the anxiety nearly killed me. I still cannot believe I passed. I feel for anyone who has failed it. Just don't give up!
Your description of how you felt during the test reminds me of twice in school when I had test anxiety. I was literally having entire conversations inside my head about how unfair the world was, how I was going to tell everyone I failed nursing school, etc!
But with both of those tests, I did fail, but marginally and was able to overcome it with good grades.
I have my NCLEX next week and I think I'm ready. I've been studying Saunders for easily 7 weeks. I do very well with it, and I know I have to stay calm!
CONGRATULATIONS Still-in-shock (now for a WONDERUL reason)!!!!!!! I am sincerely so happy for you. Now go out and enjoy yourself and the relief I know you feel!
Thank you minidoxiemama!! It's amazing how one exam can make you feel so low and then so incredibly high! I'm in the clouds right now!! We did it!!
eldragon- good luck on your exam!! You are already half way there knowing that you need to stay calm. The main thing I was going to concentrate on had I failed was my relaxation techniques before, during, and after it. Take a bubble bath with candles the night before! :wink2: It sounds like you have the knowledge, so the only thing that can stand in your way is your NERVES! If you can keep them in check, I'm sure you'll do GREAT!! Please let us know!
I believe the NCLEX is a crap shoot. That ANYONE could fail it given enough of the "trick" questions where virtually any answer could be validated. I failed the NCLEX on my first try, about 10 years ago, and recently passed my CCRN exam...there was some healing that took place for me, however I also went through a bit of an existential meltdown. The CCRN had a lot of bullcrap questions as well, where no matter what, you could easily choose the wrong answer....WHY DO NURSES DO THIS TO EACH OTHER???? I BEGAN TO REALLY WONDER??? It is brutal and demeaning. Why wouldn't we want a licensing exam where it challenged people, certainly, but actually was an empowering experience? Where when you walked out of there, you could feel good about what you just did and not wonder in profound anxiety whether or not you passed. I think it is disgusting...
Let me share how I have come to terms with this issue. Apparently, other licensing exams in other professions are just like the NCLEX. For licensed psychologists on the Master's level, they have to reach 50% for passing and PHD's 80%. That HAS to be a brutal test. Also, accountants have 5 different tests that they must pass with hardly anyone passing all 5 on the first try. I don't know why that makes me feel a little better... I wish nurses would change the way the test is done. I still see an exam where nurses could validate their knowledge and be sent out into the working world ready for the challenge.....
It's really good to hear everyone come out about their experiences with the NCLEX. It doesn't surprise me that very good students don't pass. I think that the expectations you place on yourself, as well as from your peers and the faculty, can really effect your performance because everyone just expects you to pass. Some people try to argue that if you can't handle the pressure of the NCLEX then how can you handle the job, but I have learned from experience that the two are not related at all. I am very confident in my work and it has no reflection on the nervousness I felt during the exam.
Congrats to those who passed, and I'm waiting for those who haven't to one day be my new fellow co-workers! If anything, the experience of failing has made me a better, more cautious and compassionate nurse. Who knows, with the way I was in school (so competitive and hung up on grades), maybe it saved my career to not march into nursing with a cocky attitude. My preceptor had once told me that in all her years experience, those were the nurses that came out of nursing school making the most serious mistakes.
Confidence in a nurse who failed attemp 1 but passed 2nd time = sure
Confidence in a nurse who failed twice and then quit all together = NO
Those students you spoke of who just got by in nursing school may not be the best academically, but fortunately for them their patients aren't asking them to take an exam to determine whether or not they live or die. They were the students who could think critically and level headed when the pressure was on. Now, don't get me wrong, i do not doubt that you are very smart, but being a genius is only half the battle. I mean, those other students may have been looked down on by you, but they were the ones that started their nursing careers way before you and they didn't just up and quite when things got stressful and hard.
I have classmates who will be graduating summa cum laude and have an air about themselves that they will just sail through NCLEX. What a dangerous attitude that is. The exam should be taken seriously no matter what kind of student you are.
The nclex is not a gauge of knowledge but a gauge of competence , sometimes the more you know the more NCLEX exam is tricky , meaning you over analyze each question and lose the entire context of what is asked in every question
oh my! .... As I am reading your story..I am bursting with tears...I know what you feel being an A student and having honors and yet still failed the nclex exam... I am in a same boat as you are... I am a Dean's Lister in my school and I never tried failing anything... when I took my first..and failed it was depressing but I came out and took my 2nd...the 2nd was my horrible and knowing that I failed it feels like I am the MOST DUMBEST nursing student that ever took place on being a Dean's Lister...It felt like i didnt learn anything ... I took nclex 2x and failed I am goin on my 3rd try now... and if all fails.. I don't know.. I really don't know.. ... my shame is on GROUND ZERO for taking this on 3rd time knowing I am one of the Dean's List...
I have to admit.. there are times when I am reviewing and I am crying...feeling how stupid I am to take this exam for 3rd try again
... I took nclex 2x and failed I am goin on my 3rd try now... and if all fails.. I don't know.. I really don't know..
lilacsparkles
9 Posts
My test anxiety was so bad....it was truly unreal. I, myself, was even shocked! My hands trembled, my mouth was dry, I had to read and re-read the question. I got things mixed up that I had never gotten mixed up before. I had racing, distracting thoughts DURING the exam like "How will I tell my boss I failed?" (I was already working). "My position will be given to someone else as I work as a nursing assistant", etc etc...I also felt unfairly judged and actually, kind of cheated. I was denied the opportunity to "prove myself", I thought. I was a very good student and a safe student nurse. To have a handful of poorly worded, awful questions determining my fate was hideously unnerving and unfair. I wasn't asked anything I knew well. It felt like an inaccurate assessment of my knowledge and skills. I wasn't asked questions about popular and dangerous medications (digoxin anyone?). I was asked bizarre questions on rare disease processes - things we never covered in school! I had a ton of SATA and hard, hard priority - you can't study for those! Anyway, the anxiety nearly killed me. I still cannot believe I passed. I feel for anyone who has failed it. Just don't give up!