Suggestions for Coping with Pt Death

Tweety, BSN, RN · Nov 11, 2004

To be honest. No. We take the body to the morgue, clean the room, and get an admission right away in the room where the patient died.

Sounds cold and casual, but it's "on with the living" when a patient dies on my unit. If it's unexpected or sad, we'll talk about it amongst ourselves and vent our feelings. But usually, we move quickly on.

Sorry not to be of any help.

flashpoint · Nov 11, 2004

An LTC I used to work for required a bedside memorial service for all residents that had passed away. I never liked it because the charge nurse (me) had to lead it and a lot of it was from the Catholic Bible (the books not found in the Protestant Bible). We were also supposed to read a certain prayer printed on the sheet. Well...I'm not Catholic, I don't think that women should lead a religious type service if men are present, and I think prayer should come from the heart, not fom someone else's dictation printed on a sheet. The people I go to church with and most of my family would have been furious if the memorial service were done for their loved one.

The hospital I work for doesn't do anything special. We do have a check list to make sure that all of the appripriate people are called and any time a patient dies in a room, the room gets a little extra cleaning...housekeeping scrubs the walls, steams the carpet or waxes the floor, and pulls the curtains down to be washed. If we need to talk about it, there is always someone there to listen or we can use EAP if we feel the need.

TiffyRN, BSN, PhD · Nov 11, 2004

When I worked with adults it was as I've heard from Tweety, unfortunately. . . Gotta free up that bed as soon as possible. Closest thing to a ritual would be detailed post-mortum care.

Now that I work NICU there is an extensive list of things done for a neonatal death. Thankfully I haven't had to deal with it personally but our unit has an extensive list of things that are done including many pictures (we have a nice digital camera for the unit for this), dressing the infant, footprints, handprints and even plaster of paris footprint/handprint impressions. There is even a checklist that is used (not part of official medical record) to make sure all of those things as well as the official things get done (notifying funeral home, nursing supervisor and others). Also the family is always given the chance to spend time with the infant in a private area (one of our family rooms on the unit).

Antikigirl, ASN, RN · Nov 11, 2004

An LTC I used to work for required a bedside memorial service for all residents that had passed away. I never liked it because the charge nurse (me) had to lead it and a lot of it was from the Catholic Bible (the books not found in the Protestant Bible). We were also supposed to read a certain prayer printed on the sheet. Well...I'm not Catholic, I don't think that women should lead a religious type service if men are present, and I think prayer should come from the heart, not fom someone else's dictation printed on a sheet. The people I go to church with and most of my family would have been furious if the memorial service were done for their loved one.
The hospital I work for doesn't do anything special. We do have a check list to make sure that all of the appripriate people are called and any time a patient dies in a room, the room gets a little extra cleaning...housekeeping scrubs the walls, steams the carpet or waxes the floor, and pulls the curtains down to be washed. If we need to talk about it, there is always someone there to listen or we can use EAP if we feel the need.

I would have had a large probelm with the bedside memorial part being done by myself! But for lack of someone else, and it was written or said as part of their wishes...I would do it if it was an absolute last resort.

We have everything at our assisted living written out about wishes on their death. That is extremely helpful! (for the memorial part, I am still working on everyone having their POLSTS or Advanced Directives though...which I find to be as important if not more with my job!). Mostly people are cleaned and the funeral home is called...and they take over. Or some folks have a bedside memorial...but we can normally tell if someone is going to die and get that going on right before death. We also work closely with hospice, and they really do a great job of getting all that taken care of with family and patient before it happens.

But it really comes down to the fact that in my facility there is only one nurse per shift...so we don't have time to do much. It is like I said..."I can't do anything for the dead, I have to deal with the living...and there is certainly no lack of demands from the living!". I just make them look nice for the funeral home or family before they arrive...that seems respectful enough for me!

I wrote a neat little story for another post...maybe a few pages back, on an exercise we did in RN school that may be of help...check it out :). It deals with feelings about death and how to recognize them and cope with it...and was quite a good lesson!

needler · Nov 11, 2004

Death seems to be a sad thing but if you beleive that that person is now in heaven and at the riight hand of God then you will feel better. Death is not the end but the beginning of a life free from pain, sadness,long suffering and all the bad here on earth. Death is the beginning of a new and wonderful life.When my dad died yes I cried because I will miss him and do miss him but i know he is now free of all his pain and sadness he had here on earth. He is with Jesus. Even though he is not here physicaly his memory will always be with me. He was a good man. You may become attached to your patients and be sad when they pass on put rember they are now free from all the pain and so forth they have sufferd in their life. They are in a better place. May God give you the strenth to see that death is not the end but the beginnig of a new and wonderful life.:) your friend in Christ Needler Jon Dow

JamiRN · Nov 11, 2004

Wonderfully said needler. Hope people don't bash your belief in GOD. It does provide huge comfort.

Nurseboy1 · Nov 11, 2004

To echo Tweety, we provide postmortem care, allow the family to view the body if they wish and send the patient to the morgue. Usually bedcontrol is aware of the death and has the room assigned to another person before we can get the body out of the room.

Jo Dirt · Nov 11, 2004

We had an Alzheimer's/dementia patient in LTC. She was always laughing and talking to herself, I never saw her without a smile on her face. One night she died and she was lying in bed with a smile on her face. It was hard to feel sad, because she looked so happy! We all imagined she was still smiling wherever she was. What a great way to go.

aokbrien · Nov 14, 2004

Prayer should be offered by the chaplain. If the family declines or pt prerequested not to have one then abide by their wishes. It whould be done by someone that believes.

NurseFirst · Nov 14, 2004

Prayer should be offered by the chaplain. If the family declines or pt prerequested not to have one then abide by their wishes. It whould be done by someone that believes.

Some 27 years ago (yikes!)...but didn't continue until recently :)...

We did clinical in a long-term care facility (natch) and there was one lady who could not talk (don't know why)...but would always greet us with a huge smile, and would wave. In fact, I think that's how she spent her days...smiling and waving...

I remember one day we came to class and our instructor told us that this woman had passed away during the night. We were all very sad. I think, though, that this was before Kubler-Ross' 5 stages of grieving was widely taught.

Granted...it didn't happen while we were AT clinical, but the memory of this lady lives with me all these years...

NurseFirst

karenG · Nov 14, 2004

People are born and they die. we never did anything special except the last rites before taking them to the morgue.

If it was an awful death...... and I've seen a few, then we would go as a group and get drunk and talk about it! You learn to 'housekeep' such stuff. sadly it doesnt stop me having nightmares or remembering people. oh and I can still see the face of the first man I saw die.. and remember his name and its now 25yrs ago this month.

The only time I have ever seen prayers said at the bedside is when working at The British Hospital for Mothers and Babies. It was a maternity hospital and prayers of thanks were said for the safe delivery of the mother. Its now sadly closed- was an awesome place to work.

Karen