I am in my first semester of nursing school. I absolutely love it, and I'm learning so much, so fast, but I've already had moments where I think, "How am I going to finish 5 semesters of this?" There is so much stress that sometimes, I can't see the light at the end of the tunnel. At orientation, we had a speaker who was a recent graduate of our school, and boy, was she right about taking it one day at a time. I start freaking out when I think about the long road ahead before graduation and the NCLEX. People often ask me how I manage full time nursing school with two kids. My response is, "It isn't an option. I just do it." I'm not trying to be rude, but really, that is my honest answer.
I have a husband and two very young kids, 19 months, and 4 months. I was just curious as to how you get through your daily routine with kids, how you're handling the stress. I feel stretched to the max. I forget to eat, I hardly sleep, and now I'm developing bronchitis. I'm so thankful my husband helps me. But I often feel very guilty that my 19-month-old daughter cries when I leave her at the sitter's or when my husband pulls her out of our room because "Mommy is studying." I am trying to learn to put down my books and take breaks. I am known to lock myself in a room for hours and read. Sure, I am building a foundation for my career, which will benefit my family. But I try not to think about the time I can't spend with them anymore because I will start crying. I went from stay-at-home mom to hardly ever being around. THAT is the hardest part of nursing school to me. What about you guys?
The kind of 24/7/365 commitment and stress you face when you are a parent is something that is difficult to fully comprehend until/unless you are a parent or other full time caregiver (specifically fully dependent adults and very young children). I have been a parent for 3 years. This is my second degree - the first I earned while not a parent. Comparing the two experiences, I can say with the utmost certainty that the challenges I faced before becoming a parent (and they were many) while working toward a degree do not compare to the challenges I face this time around.
As an aside, a parent's own personal, interpersonal, financial, familial, health, scheduling (etc., etc.,) issues do not dissipate once our children are born. They continue to exert their influence on our daily lives while being confounded and amplified by the stresses and responsibilities of raising children.
Thank you all for your responses! I will definitely try to get out of the house to study more. I am definitely not trying to belittle other students' struggles because I know that each person has a unique situation. I am very fortunate to have a husband to help me and I have an infinite amount of respect to those single mothers going through the program! I guess at times, I get a little frazzled and overwhelmed. It is nice speak to other nursing students who are also having to balance being a parent and student, both full-time jobs. I definitely agree with those of you who said that having kids gives you more motivation. I had all my pre-reqs completed for a BSN (though I had to retake two classes due to my lack of prioritizing abilities my freshman year) and had to take time off school to have my kids and I feel that if I didn't have my kids and went straight through college, I would've been too immature to be responsible enough to complete the program successfully. Time management is more difficult, money is tighter, stressors are abundant, but I have my family depending on me now. Now if only I could find a way to squeeze in a good exercise routine...
You miss my point. If, in life, we seek and identify only with those whose circumstances are the same as ours (e.g. those going to school and have children) we limit ourselves. Also, if you consider that your road is particularly special and different to those who do not have children you set yourselves apart from others and, frankly, elevate yourselves.
It happens I do look after an adult who is fully dependent. They are also in and out of hospital with emergencies quite regularly. But when someone with children intimates (or states outright) to me I am lucky because I don't have the stress of children it is offensive. Also, I don't assume that my stress or problems are any more special or difficult than someone else's (whether they have kids, a paraplegic at home or otherwise). For all I know they go home and get the tar beaten out of them or have health problems of their own and barely make it through the day.
I don't know and I don't assume. I am suggesting that others consider that. That is all.
You miss my point. If, in life, we seek and identify only with those whose circumstances are the same as ours (e.g. those going to school and have children) we limit ourselves. Also, if you consider that your road is particularly special and different to those who do not have children you set yourselves apart from others and, frankly, elevate yourselves.
It happens I do look after an adult who is fully dependent. They are also in and out of hospital with emergencies quite regularly. But when someone with children intimates (or states outright) to me I am lucky because I don't have the stress of children it is offensive. Also, I don't assume that my stress or problems are any more special or difficult than someone else's (whether they have kids, a paraplegic at home or otherwise). For all I know they go home and get the tar beaten out of them or have health problems of their own and barely make it through the day.
I don't know and I don't assume. I am suggesting that others consider that. That is all.
I have never told another student that they are lucky they don't have kids...Personally, I'm not upset about my situation being in nursing school with kids at all. This is the way that worked for me best, as stated earlier. Nobody on this thread said anything about people with kids having it easier until you came on here and assumed that's where we were coming from....Almost as if you were offended and had to prove to us that just because others don't have kids that they have it just as hard. But nobody was saying you didn't. The girl wanted advice from people who are in a similar situation. That's not limiting the advice, but getting better directed advice that would be more compatible to her personal situation. If she came on here and just asked a question to any student the advice may not have been good for her. A young college student still living at home with parents is going to have a much different study schedule and coping strategies than a student who has kids and his/her own home to care for along with going to school. If somebody asked "Students who have full time jobs and go to school how are you handling it" would you have gone on there and preached to them about how other students who don't work full time have just as many struggles??? Nobody is elevating themselves because we have kids. In fact, the untraditional students are the ones who are a little older in age and have children, we are the minority...many times it feels we are the ones who are different. I appreciate that you have a tough situation and I feel taking care of a totally dependent adult 24/7 would be a lot harder than having children. So I feel for you and definitely don't discount the struggles you face. It just came off a little preachy that's all.
You miss my point. If, in life, we seek and identify only with those whose circumstances are the same as ours (e.g. those going to school and have children) we limit ourselves. Also, if you consider that your road is particularly special and different to those who do not have children you set yourselves apart from others and, frankly, elevate yourselves.
It happens I do look after an adult who is fully dependent. They are also in and out of hospital with emergencies quite regularly. But when someone with children intimates (or states outright) to me I am lucky because I don't have the stress of children it is offensive. Also, I don't assume that my stress or problems are any more special or difficult than someone else's (whether they have kids, a paraplegic at home or otherwise). For all I know they go home and get the tar beaten out of them or have health problems of their own and barely make it through the day.
I don't know and I don't assume. I am suggesting that others consider that. That is all.
Asking for advice from other parents, I'm pretty certain, was not meant to be exclusionary for the purposes of being offensive, but exclusionary for the purposes of seeking advice from those whose circumstances are most closely matched to the advice seeker. You probably have daily challenges that are very similar to parents in some ways and quite different in others. It is unnecessary to make note of every possible personal circumstance that shares daily challenges with parenting when asking for advice. To not do so is not a personal affront. No need to distort what could have been a highly productive discussion and introduce controversy where none exists. Your actions are destructive.
If you feel you have some topically relevant, constructive advice to offer on how to cope related to your own experiences, then by all means, offer it.
*purposely avoiding the unnecessary drama/******* match* ;-)
Totally doable!!! Totally exhausting!! haha
I am a stay at home Dad, Full time student (nights and weekends), one part time job as a waiter (3 nights per week), and per diem staff person in a group home (basically between semesters! haha). My Wife works full time during the day. My kids are 4, 3, and 1- so all 3 are home with me during the day. I am a second semester student, and received a B+ in Nursing 1) All 3 of my kids were born during pre-reqs.
With all that being said- I'm doing it! :-) And many many other students do too. You have a lot of support out there- I know I vent to my fellow students with young kids at home, and we all can relate, and we all get through it together. I know there are many parents on the board too. We'll all get through this together! haha- best of luck! I feel sure you will rock it! :-)
Edit for one more thing-
I owe my Wife an AMAZING night out when I am done for all she's done! haha- SOunds like your husband does a lot for you- and believe me, he will do a lot more by the time you graduate! Start thinking of ideas to repay him now! lol- I've got a list going for my Wife!
*purposely avoiding the unnecessary drama/******* match* ;-)
I owe my Wife an AMAZING night out when I am done for all she's done! haha- SOunds like your husband does a lot for you- and believe me, he will do a lot more by the time you graduate! Start thinking of ideas to repay him now! lol- I've got a list going for my Wife!
I sooo owe my husband after this is over too....He is working 2 jobs and sacrificing much time with me and the kids and has just put up with so much with me being in school. I also owe my mom big time for helping me watch the kids when I need to study on a weekly basis. I couldn't have done it without those two!! You sound like a great dad and husband to be so greatful for your wife!
Yes it is doable and yes it is tiring. I started pre-reqs, all the way through graduation with 4 children who are now between 4y-8y. It was a lot of juggling and a lot of support from my husband, plus a lot of money on babysitters to cover the times where I was at school and he wasn't yet home from work. Just keep working at it and it will fall into place. I also had to study when I had the chance b/c you never know when someone is sick. I was in the ER with one child the night before a final, and had to pray daily that no one would be too sick to take to the babysitters. I am now done and just awaiting my NCLEX.
I have a 20 month old daughter. I'm in my second semester of nursing school, and my husband is active duty Air Force. He'll be out of the military in 3 months, so I rely on my family for help a lot of the time. I try to get in 4 hours of studying/reading in per day when my daughter goes to bed, (makes for long nights, but that's okay!) and then I'm taking 14 credits. OH, and a 9.5 hour clinical. I think that's the most exhausting part!
I am a mother of 2 boys ages 2 & 6. It's hard for me to find the balance betwwen school and kids. I only get a chance to study after 8pm and before 6am. I'm actually taking a study break now. We have our 2nd med/surg test on Friday. This is going to be a long week between clinicals, lecture and make-up time from the bad weather last week. At times I feel discouraged and completely overwhelmed. I done very well in my Fundementals courses and Med/surg is giving me so anxiety. On the brightside I have a supportive partner who helps with the day to day chores, child rearing , and financially. I see a glimmer of light @ the end of the tunnel May 2012.
Thank you for all the supportive responses! I definitely owe my husband BIG! He's just happy he gets in his Call of Duty while I'm reading and the kids are in bed. I think I will have to get him some really awesome seats at a Washington Capitals game at the Verizon Center, and even that might not be enough.
It's hard having to pay the babysitter and OH how I would love to sleep in an extra hour and not have to get the kids dressed, fed, and out the door. Clinicals start in 3 weeks and they're from 7AM-4PM. I don't even want to think about that right now. But, I truly feel that having my husband and kids counting on me is what pushes me forward. I find myself in a daze on Facebook and I will snap out of it and tell myself I have to get back to the books and do this for my family. So thankful that I have them in my life. Thank you guys for understanding...well, with the exception of one of you at least :smackingf
I'm so thankful my husband helps me. But I often feel very guilty that my 19-month-old daughter cries when I leave her at the sitter's or when my husband pulls her out of our room because "Mommy is studying." I am trying to learn to put down my books and take breaks. I am known to lock myself in a room for hours and read. Sure, I am building a foundation for my career, which will benefit my family. But I try not to think about the time I can't spend with them anymore because I will start crying. I went from stay-at-home mom to hardly ever being around. THAT is the hardest part of nursing school to me. What about you guys?
metal_m0nk, BSN, RN
920 Posts
The kind of 24/7/365 commitment and stress you face when you are a parent is something that is difficult to fully comprehend until/unless you are a parent or other full time caregiver (specifically fully dependent adults and very young children). I have been a parent for 3 years. This is my second degree - the first I earned while not a parent. Comparing the two experiences, I can say with the utmost certainty that the challenges I faced before becoming a parent (and they were many) while working toward a degree do not compare to the challenges I face this time around.
As an aside, a parent's own personal, interpersonal, financial, familial, health, scheduling (etc., etc.,) issues do not dissipate once our children are born. They continue to exert their influence on our daily lives while being confounded and amplified by the stresses and responsibilities of raising children.