Struggling with anxiety at new job

[nursehaley91, BSN, RN]

So, I’m currently doing some self reflection. I have recently switched back to agency nursing after my recent fiasco of losing my job (see previous post for more details.) I used to feel so confident and outgoing. Up until all of this happened (and even during termination.) I was used to being complimented. I was frequently told how I was a good nurse, a strong nurse. How I had excellent patient rapport and strong clinical judgment. I never had complaints from coworkers or patients. And Although I realize it doesn’t matter a ton, I had been nominated several times for Daisy Awards as well as a hospital based award. I was always aware I had more room to go, more knowledge to learn, people who always knew more or were better at certain things than I was and I always did my best to be the best I could be and accept and improve on my weaknesses. But now I’m failing.

I spent two weeks at a new facility when my agency called today and said I was cancelled from this particular facility because I “wouldn’t talk to their staff.” I realize now that I came across as probably stuck up and “better than them.” But honestly it’s because I was so shy and so anxious. So instead of sitting around the desk, gossiping with their employees, I stayed near my assignment and focused on my med pass, treatments, call lights and my residents. I thought I was doing the right thing but I guess not.

Long story short, how do I overcome this? How do I make sure that moving forward other perm staff don’t view me as stuck up? What is the best way to approach these new facilities and new people since my ego and confidence has been severely damaged?

[jobellestarr]

I am so sorry all of this happened to you. But please, don’t let this incident define you or take away your self confidence. When things like this happen to me I kind of feel like a wounded animal and tend to be quiet and to myself too. You did nothing wrong at the registry job. Maybe seeing a counselor would help. Are you eligible for unemployment or can you take some time off to heal? There is a lot of personal grief in nursing. Besides our job and seeing what we see, we also have to deal with this nonsense and it can be overwhelming and devastating. Take care of yourself first. ❤️

[Nurse SMS, MSN, RN]

When working in a new place, push yourself a bit. Your confidence is shaken, but the only way to raise it is to get back up on that horse. You don't have to be super social, but smile, introduce yourself, ask questions (Where can I put my lunch? Where do you keep the supplies? etc) and offer to help others when your work load allows it.

Your Daisy nominations are NOT "nothing". They mean a lot. You are grieving and have a bit of PTSD right now, so be gentle with yourself. Pull those nominations out and review what they say to remind yourself who you really are. Don't believe everything your mind is telling you. Let yourself see the whole picture.

Confidence will return but you will always carry this wound with you. It will heal with time and intention. Hang in there.

[LovingLife123]

I don’t think this is a matter of being perceived as “stuck up”. It’s a matter as not being seen as a team player.

You don’t have to gossip. I don’t sit and gossip a whole lot with my coworkers. But, I don’t sit off to the side and ignore my coworkers either. I let them know I’m available for help.

We use a lot of agency at times on my unit. My unit is a very team oriented, social type unit. When we have agency staff that sits in their rooms the whole time and won’t help or isolate themselves, it doesn’t turn out well. I see the ire it draws from the perm staff. We don’t get a lot of those, but it happens.

You are spending 12-13 hours a day with your coworkers. More than your family. You need to be able to trust them and they need to trust you. If you don’t interact at all, that can’t happen.

You don’t have to gossip or be the most social butterfly. But you do have to interact a little.

[nursehaley91, BSN, RN]

1 minute ago, LovingLife123 said:

I don’t think this is a matter of being perceived as “stuck up”. It’s a matter as not being seen as a team player.

You don’t have to gossip. I don’t sit and gossip a whole lot with my coworkers. But, I don’t sit off to the side and ignore my coworkers either. I let them know I’m available for help.

We use a lot of agency at times on my unit. My unit is a very team oriented, social type unit. When we have agency staff that sits in their rooms the whole time and won’t help or isolate themselves, it doesn’t turn out well. I see the ire it draws from the perm staff. We don’t get a lot of those, but it happens.

You are spending 12-13 hours a day with your coworkers. More than your family. You need to be able to trust them and they need to trust you. If you don’t interact at all, that can’t happen.

You don’t have to gossip or be the most social butterfly. But you do have to interact a little.

I understand that view point. But I also don’t believe this is the way this particular unit is. I wasn’t entirely antisocial and I made sure to offer help when possible to not just other nurses but the techs as well. I wasn’t “ignoring.” My coworkers I was just simply keeping to myself unless I saw that help was needed or whatever. When I first arrived on the unit it was made extremely clear I wasn’t welcome there by some comments (another agency b**ch, hopefully when Dr. calls he gets “the right nurse.”)

I realize how I can be perceived at times but honestly it’s because I was extremely anxious. By no means would I ever completely isolate myself. I just thought at that time it was best to focus on the patients (both my “own” and otherwise. Instead of trying to fit in to the culture. Lesson learned. Thank you for your view!