Stressed about a loved patient

Published

I work in LTC and have taken care of one resident for a little over five years. She has become a dear friend in this time. She is soft spoken and not understood by other staff members. She has developed an ulcer and is on comfort care. Her Last living will states she doesn't want a feeding tube(which she has) and wants maximum pain relief. I feel much anxierty leaving work because people just don't pay attention to her. Other nurses state that, "She looks comfortable." And I have communicated with them multiple times she may appear comfortable but when she is turned and repositioned(every 2 hours) She cringes her face and her discomfort is obvious. But because there is lack of communication between the aides and nurses, and the nurses don't take the time to pay attention to her needs or communicate with her. She recieves no PRN pain medication for the 16 hours I'm not there. It's heart breaking to watch a loved one suffer, when she has PRN medication she could be receiving!!

Not the place or the time to correct "terminology"

OP is talking about a relationship. It happens in a one on one situation over years.

Let's focus on the needs of the caregiver .. and .. the resident instead of criticizing/ analyzing the relationship.

I'm sorry this is your opinion as the relationship absolutely needs to be addressed. This nurse is at high risk for burning out unless she recognizes that what she is doing is bad for her emotionally and could potentially compromise her ability to provide patient care.

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

You know, some nurses are also afraid to 'kill the patient'. You can try to explain to them until you are blue in the face that they are already dying, all you are doing is trying to provide comfort...Is it because of emotional/spiritual/ethical/religious beliefs? Just not wanting to fill out the paperwork?

All you can do is advocate for your patients and if you are a nurse, then YOU can medicate while you are there.

I will agree with others. I get that when you spend this much time with someone, you are bound to develop some attachment. However, for your own sanity and peace of mind (and it's obvious your peace of mind is being affected already), you need to work hard to maintain that professional barrier between you and your patients. There is a LOT in between your (inappropriate) relationship with this patient and the 'zombie' nurse.

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I'm sorry this is your opinion as the relationship absolutely needs to be addressed. This nurse is at high risk for burning out unless she recognizes that what she is doing is bad for her emotionally and could potentially compromise her ability to provide patient care.

Don't be sorry for my opinion... it's gotten me through 30 years of successful and compassionate nursing.

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Specializes in Hospice.

Many years ago when I worked LTC I wish I would have received soldierNurse's advice. It would have saved me some heartbreak.

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Don't be sorry for my opinion... it's gotten me through 30 years of successful and compassionate nursing.

Cool. Then I'm not sorry! :)

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Specializes in Med-Surg.

Why do so many people think that you can either be compassionate or callous? Who decided that those were the only two options? I demand a revote!!

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.
Why do so many people think that you can either be compassionate or callous? Who decided that those were the only two options? I demand a revote!!

THIS....if nursing taught me anything above all the things I've learned, is to embrace the "gray area" of life. ;)

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