Stooopid

Specialties Emergency

Published

That about sums up my day today. This is a rant post. Please add on if your day was also dumb.

1. 90% of my patients were morbidly obese and smelled of fumunda because they can't reach all their nooks and cranies when they bathe (if they bathe)

2. Gravida 13, Para 6, 7 spontaneous abortions with pelvic pain who left a tampon in her kooka for 2 weeks causing me to skip lunch. The smell is burned into my memory

3. The triage nurse who hates me for some reason.

Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
Pt thought it was a good idea to leave some ribs from a restaurant IN THE CAR OVERNIGHT (and mind you I live in TX where it is still blazing hot and it's still like 80 degrees in the evening) and decided to eat them the next day. 90 minutes after eating they end up in the waiting room actively vomiting.

I just don't get these people. :wideyed: Or the other super stars that have been mentioned in this thread. :lol2:

You mean the Captain, Ben and Jerry?

Rum and coke with Ben and Jerry's

images?q=tbn:ANd9GcSOwt8PoM8EbqcIGLohIua4J_dbrTP4JXi_YBJ6HG-dbedfwx_m

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Specializes in Critical Care, ED, Cath lab, CTPAC,Trauma.
This entire thread has me in knots!!! Hilarious!!! I'm in the process of going for RN now (taking my last pre-reqs this semester). Just finished practical nursing school. Oh I am not looking forward to familiarizing myself with 'fumunda' or forgotten tampons...how does that happen????? :grumpy::bluecry1:
As Someone here once said .......You can't fix stoopid.
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I wish I hadn't googled "fumunda". :barf02:

I'm just glad I know what it is so I don't have to Google it!!

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For whatever reason you must treat your patients like your love ones and have you forgotten the confidentiality rule that you must not disclose information. Smh...are you sure you are in this field because you love it or for .....

Ok, pre-nursing student. Now run along and study your anatomy book because you have absolutely NO ground to stand on with that comment. SMH.

You will learn that nurses have to decompress and confide in one another ESPECIALLY after a hard day in the ER where the smallest action/decision that a nurse/doctor makes dictates the outcome of human life. Yeah, kind of intense sometimes. It's ok to be frustrated with your patients. It doesn't mean that you're a bad person or that you're in the "wrong field". It means that you love people SO much that you wish they'd take better care of themselves and that they wouldn't abuse the ER driving up healthcare costs for everyone. It means that you're frustrated with a system that has failed to educate people to help them obtain the tools necessary to be productive and contributive member of society thereby facilitating said abuse of ER services.

You will learn. Until then, shhhh.

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-Woman who held my hand and thanked me profusely for talking to her husband as if he were still a person while he quietly slipped away from us after a code was halted...

Ha! You didn't see that last one coming, did ya?

Nope. Love it.

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Man those days stink....pun intended.

On days like that I like to hook up with my friends....The Captain, Ben, Jerry and my dog.

:roflmao::yes:

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For all those who thinks the triage nurse hates them......it's not just you. After spending 12 hours in the triage room, we hate everyone.

I guess I should have clarified...this nurse always hates me whether she's in triage or not. I can't figure it out. I get along with everyone. So weird. She actually kind of gives me the willies. One day she slammed the phone down on lab and said "they're all worthless" like stone-cold she meant it! Who says that!?! She looks like she'd be a featured news story on 20/20 for cutting her husband's member off and then setting their house on fire or something.

She probably kicks puppies too. *shiver*

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I was bathing my patient during my clinical (they needed it, they were emitting a 'lovely' odor), I found 'gifts' between the several, 'fluffy' folds of my patient. The patient stated it might be the Cheezits they were eating last week...

My paramedic co-worker once found a whole starburst candy underneath shamu...er..a lady's breast while doing an ekg. Pt's response was "Huh. I don't even eat those things!"

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

My paramedic co-worker once found a whole starburst candy underneath shamu...er..a lady's breast while doing an ekg. Pt's response was "Huh. I don't even eat those things!"

:roflmao:!!!!

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Specializes in Pediatrics, Emergency, Trauma.

I guess I should have clarified...this nurse always hates me whether she's in triage or not. I can't figure it out. I get along with everyone. So weird. She actually kind of gives me the willies. One day she slammed the phone down on lab and said "they're all worthless" like stone-cold she meant it! Who says that!?! She looks like she'd be a featured news story on 20/20 for cutting her husband's member off and then setting their house on fire or something.

She probably kicks puppies too. *shiver*

How about a scroll to the post about nurses who kill??? :whistling:

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bahaha!!!!! So TRUE!!! hahaha

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Specializes in Emergency, Haematology/Oncology.

My stoooopid triage shift yesterday..... (people usually cry if I'm at triage) oooh, and everyone wanted to play my least favourite game, kick the triage nurse. Someone rolled away the big rock from the cave and all those intellectually challenged, lonely and downright sooky patients ran really fast to my ER.

1) "Strong personality" nurse in charge of acute (sociopath) sends the co-ordinator to have a word with me about assigning a CAT 5 (2hrs) to a F/F intoxicated patient. "He was hypotensive at 90" tut tut. That's why I went to great pains to include in his comments, and assessment that he has a history of postural hypotension, 90 is good for him. Pt self discharges 1.5 hours later.

2) Oh please, oh please, no more man flu. Well, even just young person flu. Not only do you not need to be in my Emergency Department, you don't even need to see a doctor. I can't be sympathetic, I'm sorry, but there really is no excuse, go away from my sick, immunocompromised patients.

3) Young man and his girlfriend both state they have central tenderness when I palpate their c-spines post a VERY low speed MVA. They think they will get seen quicker by saying this.... Enjoy your rigid collars suckers! And the extra 3 hours you will be here waiting for CT, hahahaha. Oh and the punitive radiation. I intensely dislike liars.

4) It was also the day of symptoms present for a very short period of time, here are a few triages word for word: "30 mins urinary symptoms", "1/24 generalised abdo pain, now resolved", "2 x vomits this am". For god's sake people, could you not have just waited a bit to see if you got better? And why oh why did you call an ambulance.

5) 25 year old male, dressed in athletic type gear, "I think I have a flu / chest infection". Oh ok, what symptoms have you been having? "Well, when I played tennis this morning I was really tired by the 4th set". I'm not kidding.

6) 27 year old male, a little bit posh- "I've had this rash for a few days" May I have a look? "That's not a rash mate that's ringworm". Pt "I, do not have ringworm", "Yes, you do, I can tell you which cream to get at the pharmacy". "I don't have ringworm, I want to see a doctor". No worries, enjoy the wait. Is at the desk 15 minutes later asking what the hold up is and when will he be seen.

7) Morbidly obese, 19 years old with mum doing ALL the talking. After an elaborate explanation I have deduced that she was swinging on a swing in a children's playground and it collapsed under her 130 odd kilos injuring her ankle. "My daughter has a very high tolerance for pain". Yeah, ok, not real bright though huh?.

Stooopid.

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