Starting to doubt my self?

chloecatrn · Sep 18, 2010

Ask. The only stupid and dangerous question is one that's not asked. No one expects you to know everything, and if they do, they're big fat jerks. Seriously, though, asking is the best way you can learn. If there's one or two things that you find yourself asking about a lot, it might be time to drag out a book and do a little self-refreshing. But if you're asking more about how your facility does things and how a works and where b is kept, then you're right on track for a new grad. If you're asking someone to double check dosages with you and eye your insulin syringe before you give it because, no matter how many times you draw up insulin, it can't hurt, you're right on track. Keep asking and keep learning. For every one person who's not receptive to your questions, you'll find five people who are.

Good luck to you!

Dream Big · Sep 18, 2010

LorderrorproneRN,

I have been an RN for a very short time myself. I not only ask a lot of questions, I ask the same questions over and over. It isn't because I always doubt myself but to confirm what I believe is right. Sometimes I take my questions to the level of "why" after get an answer. Such as "should I call the doctor on these labs".. they say "no" I say "why?" As a new grad you cannot always know why things are spinning the they spin. So the big "WHY" that follows is where learning truly takes place. So with that said:

Migrate to the nurses that your most comfortable with. Find a good go to person that you feel is giving you sound advice. This not only enhances what we already know, don't know, but keeps us accountable so the error does not apply.

Personally I don't give a flying a** patooot what my co-workers think of me at this because they were in my shoes at one point. When your head hits the pillow at night you will fall off to sleep much easier knowing that you asked and knew what was the right thing to do giving a patient the best possible care that they deserve.

Double check YES! Triple if your not sure! What have you got to lose? Absolutely nothing! :)

I do understand your concern because I am where you are and nurses at times can devour you but hang in there because this is going to go on throughout our profession as we already know, nursing is a new learning experience everyday.

If I ever stop learning then it's time to turn in my license.

Good Luck!

diligent-trooper · Sep 18, 2010

I am not sure if your instructors had an assigned agenda to make your existence a living hell. The instructors could have been picking up certain traits from your body language, since you were unsure of your abilities, that was suggesting you were unprepared, unmotivated, not able to apply the basics. You may have unintentionally had presented yourself as one who is unable to pick-up social ques, and then take the initiative in making changes. I am not placing any blame on you for any of this, but it is something you might consider.

With that being said, I believe your main issue is you lack any work place experience. If you have had a previous job anywhere, you would realize that any job you take, this includes nursing, there is a period of time where you are "learning the ropes". You are placed with another employee who has years of experience. This individual will train you and help you establish short-term goals in acquiring the skill sets, and all the other important responsibilities. Believe me, the facilities which appreciate their nurses will have a well developed training program. They do not expect you to know everything. They only expect that you to be an individual who has motivation to learn, and one who takes the initiative in finding ways to continue to improve. Asking question is not a sign of weakness, but an important part of the learning process. So, ask away!

One thing you have admitted is you don't know everything. This is an excellent start. It suggest you are able to take a personal inventory of your limitations, but I also suggest you be honest with yourself in naming your strengths. If you are unable to name your strengths, ask your friends, family, and even your instructors what they think. I think you will be pleasantly surprised. You might just find out, your strengths are what is going to assist with your "so-called" short-comings and limitations. In no time, you will be less nervous, and well on your way in becoming the competent nurse you wish to be. :yeah:

himilayaneyes · Sep 18, 2010

you said you are now a practicing rn which means you can be held liable for anything that happens to your patients on your watch. my philosophy is that it's better to look stupid b/c you asked a question rather than do something to hurt your patient. believe me, your conscience will bother you a lot more if you do something dangerous that could've been prevented had you simply asked for help. at the end of the day, do what's best for your patients and your license. if the other nurses, have a problem with that...well too bad, let them deal with it. and it's normal to feel like an idiot the 1st yr...you won't feel comfortable as a rn until a year or more has passed. and it might not be a bad idea to get a pocked nursing guide to take to work with you and become familiar with your hospital's policy and procedures manual. don't forget to prioritize. abcs and delegate. good luck.

Imagine720 · Sep 18, 2010

These replies are great....I don't mean to hijack this thread but I have had a similar experience. My first Adult clinical with critical patients I had an instructor that singled certain students out to "ride like ponies" I was one of them...I'm older and have some doubts about myself when I'm demeaned, put down and made to feel stupid. I'm very self aware but it was hard to overcome this treatment and when two of us complained to the Dean...she basically said what do you want me to do about it? So I graduated with a BSN, passed the NCLEX and have been working on the Medical ICU for a month. My first preceptor was very lax and said things like "this isn't the way you were taught in school", and "if you were a spy I'd be screwed because this isn't how you're supposed to do this." Also the assignments we got involved patients who were so critical that the preceptor just did everything and when I would ask she would say, "you'll figure it out as you go along" I went to our educator and said I felt uncomfortable with the comments. Then the opposite extreme, I was put with someone who was so anal about charting everything and there was never anytime to go over tasks...I would ask the same thing just to double check because I didn't want to make a mistake. Again, out of 4 days I was with the second preceptor, she was only available to teach me on two of those days. So then I go into work and they've switched me again...the manager and educator have a "talk" with me...."if you don't get up to speed we'll have to decide if this is going to work out. You're going to have to take care of two patients and you have to have an action plan to get yourself together." And they said you've got to stop asking so many questions because it's frustrating the preceptors. I mentioned the fact that the preceptors may not remember what it was like to be a new nurse and the manager said, "Are you blaming the preceptors? You've had two preceptors...maybe it's you who is the problem." So now I'm a month into my orientation and I'm scared to ask a question, I feel like I never should have gone to the educator with my concerns and the next preceptor they put me with they have already said she has a difficult personality. It doesn't help that there were 5 orientees at the same time, the other new RN's have stuck with their preceptors and are having a fine time. I don't feel like I have anywhere to go with this. I will spend the entire day with the educator on my next shift. Another issue, going straight from school to the ICU is a challenge...they used to have us go to the general floor for 3 months to get our foundation and then go to the ICU...that would have helped. I feel like if I ask about checking my Meds they look at me like I have 3 heads.

jrkingRN · Sep 18, 2010

OMG. RUN from that facility right now! If they are treating you this way already, things are going to go downhill fast. When hiring new grads a GOOD place to work is going to have a special program JUST for new grads. As a preceptor myself i LOVE when someone asks me a million questions and here's why:1. it shows me that you are paying attention 2. I don't know what you know, you need to tell me and 3. (and most importantly) it keeps me on my toes! I have to actually know what I'm talking about to answer the dang question! I would REALLY recommend that you start interviewing at other hospitals, find a program that is specific for new grads, and when you put in your two week notice at this shameful hospital make sure you write a LONG and detailed email about why you're leaving and send it to the preceptor, the nurse manager, the DON, and the president of the hospital :)

Brainiacster · Sep 18, 2010

OP, better to ask now than risk a snowballing situation over time. As others point out, try to develop some relationships with other nurses who may be more willing to share their knowledge, in addition to asking your preceptor. Any time one gets into technical jobs, there's always a learning curve for a few yrs. Stick with it and ask those Q's...and also maybe do a little extra research in your free time in areas where you need it.

jrkingRN · Sep 18, 2010

My post was intended for Imagine720

LorderrorproneRN · Sep 18, 2010

Hi there

Thanks for your comments everyone. yea i suppose you guys are right at the end of the day im the one with his head on the chopping block if anything i was unsure of hits the fan.

i know EXACTLY what u mean imagine720 i was the scapegoat in alot of my clinical and it made me doubt if asking questions would just make ppl think i know absolutely didly. but thats how i learn, i know that i know the fact but i need confirmation that i didn't just make up that fact to make my life easier. ive had those exact same type of preceptors u had, they hated being asked questions, maybe its cause they dont want a student, maybe its cause you asked questions they didnt know the answer to. but its YOUR license now, your accountable to your patient and yourself. haveing good relations with the other nurses is important in those days where u cant even bend down to tie ur shoes but if something happens not a single one of them will be able to help you because you did something unsafe. in short ask away, and dont worry what might be going through their minds. for me personally i have learned that asking is a last resort or a time crunch card. if i dont know something i will look it up myself that way i know where to find it next time i need it and i dont agitate anyone. if someone is on the bathroom floor and i dont have time to look it up then sure ill ask. otherwise i keep to myself help the other nurses when they need it and hope they return the favor in my times of need.

cheers

jrkingRN · Sep 18, 2010

OMG. RUN from that facility right now! If they are treating you this way already, things are going to go downhill fast. When hiring new grads a GOOD place to work is going to have a special program JUST for new grads. As a preceptor myself i LOVE when someone asks me a million questions and here's why:1. it shows me that you are paying attention 2. I don't know what you know, you need to tell me and 3. (and most importantly) it keeps me on my toes! I have to actually know what I'm talking about to answer the dang question! I would REALLY recommend that you start interviewing at other hospitals, find a program that is specific for new grads, and when you put in your two week notice at this shameful hospital make sure you write a LONG and detailed email about why you're leaving and send it to the preceptor, the nurse manager, the DON, and the president of the hospital :)

Imagine720 · Sep 18, 2010

Thanks, jrkingRN, it's scary when this is how they treat you. I was beginning to think it was me. After reading some of the posts here, I don't feel like I'm so alone. I'll see how things go on Monday when I work 1:1 with the educator.