Published Mar 5, 2007
smileysenior
87 Posts
I looked out the window and It's such a pretty day outside here..sunny and a bit cool....springy! I actually smiled and felt good. I havent felt that way in a long time. I will have been a nurse fr a year in June and although I have gotten good experience and made decent money, I am going to go back to school. I am not really sure what but I dont think I want to be a nurse full time anymore......it has drained me emotionally, physically, mentally, and spiritually. There is a laundry list of cons. How many other professions make u feel guilty for cramming a sandwich down your throat because someone may die since u decided to eat something before you pass out? I havent been taking care of my self or making time for what is truly important -my family and friends. I am worn out from the job. One day we will all have health issues or challenges in life......I dont want to invest 10 years in this career and be miserable, I want to enjoy life. I want to be able to have energy to go walking on a spring day or go to a barbecue.....or get excited over stuff again in life. I have become increasingly depressed, anxious, stressed, and sad since becoming a nurse. Believe it or not, nursing school seems like the good ol days now! Now dont get me wrong, I do like the money and occasionally u have patients how appreciate you and you feel like u are doing something........but 85% of the time I just go through the motions, I am a good nurse and I am caring but I am becoming worn out and at times bitter and miserable. So.....I am excited! After my year is up, I will work PRN.....I will like the flexibility and go back to school for something else........the people who decide to stay in nursing, I applaud you guys but it isnt for everyone.......life is too short to put so much time in a career that you really do not fin joy in......my family and friends are important, my health. But after almost a year of nursing I feel like I can do anything!! I do feel more confident and am finding being a nurse feeling more natural.......its starting to "click" but I know in my heart I dont want this to be my PRIMARY career, I will work PRN while I am in school and then afterwards to keep my skills and plus I think I will like nursing better in small doses.....and it will help financially. I was gonna get my masters but I cant imagine investing 2-3 years of my life and more loans for something I dont truly want to do full time. But I feel good. What are your plans after the 1st year?
mom2michael, MSN, RN, NP
1,168 Posts
I made my plans 2 months into my "old" job and got the he&& out and got a new job, doing something I love - so I didn't even wait out the first full year.....My life, my family are FAR more important that staying miserable. I'm still in nursing, have no intentions of leaving because I love doing what I do, but I had to find my place. I started out in a very well known, large for cardiac, Trauma center he&&hole. It wasn't for me. I couldn't care for my patients, I ran around like a crazy woman for 12 hours, I was exhausted, my family hated me. I spent my days off crying, wishing I could find something else. Then one day the phone rang, my old hospital had a new director, it was close to home and it was back where I wanted to be. So I left the "old" and started the "new" just 2 months after graduation from NS. I can't even begin to tell you how much I now love my job....I just had to find what was my best fit and it's my small, county hospital in the middle of nowhere - a place where I might see 3 patients overnight in the ER but I have 12 hours to help them talk to them and actually treat them. It's great and I won't trade that for anything.
The beauty of nursing, there are SO MANY ways to find what you love and what works for you.
HealthyRN
541 Posts
SmileySenior-- I really feel for you because I could have written this post! I too almost have a year in nursing and I quickly learned that bedside nursing is not for me. I have struggled in the past year with the decision to leave nursing or stick it out. Many people suggest changing specialities, but I have found it so difficult to get a job outside of acute care without "experience". Believe me, it's not that I haven't tried.
Many, many times I have felt depressed and angry at myself for making this career decision. I was angry because I felt that when I entered nursing school I could have done anything. I graduated as valedictorian of my high school class and I felt like my whole future was wide open at that time. And then I worked so hard to do well in nursing school for a career in which I am lucky if I get bathroom breaks. Nursing is just not what envisioned it to be for so many reasons.
As time goes by, I am finding that the nursing tasks and skills are getting easier. The frustrations of the job and the things that I don't like about nursing remain though. One thing that has really helped is that I am now working part-time instead of full-time. I also remind myself that this is temporary and I will not be doing this for the rest of my life. I am no longer angry at myself because I know that I can still do anything that I want, it is just a bit harder now that I'm older and married with responsibilities. Nursing has been a great life experience for me and I really do enjoy caring for some of the patients.
I still don't really know where I will be in 5 years, but for now I am moving forward with my plan to get an MSN and become an FNP. This is why I originally went into nursing. I am still sometimes concerned that I may not enjoy being an FNP because I do not like bedside nursing, but I have shadowed a few FNPs and I believe the role is much more in line with what I am looking for in a career. If I find that I do not like it though, I will not stay in a career that I don't enjoy. Life is just too short for that and that is one valuable lesson that nursing has taught me!
RN BSN 2009
1,289 Posts
working.. to help my cash flow problems!! lol
VivaRN
520 Posts
Nursing can be hell. But it can also be the most amazing job in the whole world. I feel for ya'll that are having a bad time... I hit one year this month. A lot of my friends from nursing school are in similar situations and it hurts me to hear how they are being treated by physicians, co-workers and the system in general. In nursing school we were all such strong women! Now they get disrespected, overworked and pushed to the side. A lot of them are looking for a way out. I don't know what the answer is, but something needs to change.
I actually like my job. I work at a teaching hospital where the residents are always learning from us. My co-workers are supportive (for the most part) and we help each other when the going gets tough. It seems like the craziness comes in waves... some nights I fall into bed and wish I could just die. I hate nursing, etc. But then I'll get a chance to be therapeutic with a family, or handle a high-acuity patient and it reminds me why I chose this career. I keep those moments in the back of my mind. The other night was nuts ~ we were 3 nurses with 2 patients each, then we got 2 new admits back to back. One was a 7 month old child abuse case, then a 28yo whose psycho roommate poured boiling water on him. A vasopressin drip ran out on a critical patient and there were no supplies on the floor to make a new one. Very stressful. Luckily I had an extra for my patient, so I took it and hung it on him. Yes, wrong patient ~ but what was I going to do. The night continued in that fashion. I was fed up to here. But then one of my patients, who had never attempted to speak before (trach collar), grabbed my hands when I was by the bed, held my hand, looked me in the eye and mouthed "I love you." It made the rest of that crazy night worth it. Nursing... who came up with this mess
As an aside, I'm also 2 semesters into doing an FNP, MPH (dual-degree). I love my NP clinicals and the insight I gain from public health. There is a lot more professionalism in the NP world and I love that I get to have the critical thinking & patient relationships without being in panic mode. It's busy, but not busy like nursing! This is something I could do for the rest of my life. I hope you find where you fit. It's a big world out there... life is too short not to follow your dreams.
Take care of yourself!
hlfpnt, BSN, RN
665 Posts
Nursing can be hell. But it can also be the most amazing job in the whole world. I feel for ya'll that are having a bad time... I hit one year this month. A lot of my friends from nursing school are in similar situations and it hurts me to hear how they are being treated by physicians, co-workers and the system in general. In nursing school we were all such strong women! Now they get disrespected, overworked and pushed to the side. A lot of them are looking for a way out. I don't know what the answer is, but something needs to change. I actually like my job. I work at a teaching hospital where the residents are always learning from us. My co-workers are supportive (for the most part) and we help each other when the going gets tough. It seems like the craziness comes in waves... some nights I fall into bed and wish I could just die. I hate nursing, etc. But then I'll get a chance to be therapeutic with a family, or handle a high-acuity patient and it reminds me why I chose this career. I keep those moments in the back of my mind. The other night was nuts ~ we were 3 nurses with 2 patients each, then we got 2 new admits back to back. One was a 7 month old child abuse case, then a 28yo whose psycho roommate poured boiling water on him. A vasopressin drip ran out on a critical patient and there were no supplies on the floor to make a new one. Very stressful. Luckily I had an extra for my patient, so I took it and hung it on him. Yes, wrong patient ~ but what was I going to do. The night continued in that fashion. I was fed up to here. But then one of my patients, who had never attempted to speak before (trach collar), grabbed my hands when I was by the bed, held my hand, looked me in the eye and mouthed "I love you." It made the rest of that crazy night worth it. Nursing... who came up with this mess As an aside, I'm also 2 semesters into doing an FNP, MPH (dual-degree). I love my NP clinicals and the insight I gain from public health. There is a lot more professionalism in the NP world and I love that I get to have the critical thinking & patient relationships without being in panic mode. It's busy, but not busy like nursing! This is something I could do for the rest of my life. I hope you find where you fit. It's a big world out there... life is too short not to follow your dreams.Take care of yourself!
Wow! I hope I feel as at ease as you sound in 6 more months (my one year mark). I've managed to find something of a comfort zone, but not as much as I would like.
Diva Nurse Dani
152 Posts
Well, I went back to school in January, and my 1st year is up in July!!
I'm pretty sure bedside won't be where I end my career, but I'm not sure about specialty...I'm in Oncology now, but Psych and Burn are interesting to me too!! Still trying to find my way (as many of us are).
I have seen where my skills are improving, and my knowledge base is growing...but I still hate feeling overwhelmed!! :trout: I know, we all have that feeling no matter how long we've been here!!
I, too, have had classmates to leave their first job, apply for lisc. in next state to work, and so forth. I would like to be closer to home (esp. now being back in school), so we'll see. Just trying to get thru the first year before making any drastic changes.
medsurgnights
41 Posts
My first year is up at the beginning of June. I love what I do, adore most of my patients, but would love to advance. I want to slowly start taking core classes for a CNS grad program after my baby is born and life settles down, but I want to stay in bedside while I go through the program. Just hate the idea of staying static, though I definitely respect long term bedside veterans, I just know I need some sort of change eventually.
palestine nurse
9 Posts
my first year is the best year - and thought how to build good relation ship from all nurse , doctors, worker on hospital .
but i daily routen i define from all hospital and feel that it my family and my house
K98
453 Posts
Almost done with the first year. I will work casual part time now and then, but I'm done with nursing as a career. I'm comfortable on the unit, and confident of my nursing skills, I enjoy the folks I work with. But... for the amount of work and responsibility heaped on the bedside RN, the pay is pitiful, and the workload borders on dangerous at times. I have watched a lot of RNs come and go during my first year. Some left during orientation. I see new faces touring the unit all the time. If the job was worth having, the turnover wouldn't be this high.
NotReady4PrimeTime, RN
5 Articles; 7,358 Posts
But... for the amount of work and responsibility heaped on the bedside RN, the pay is pitiful, and the workload borders on dangerous at times. I have watched a lot of RNs come and go during my first year. Some left during orientation. I see new faces touring the unit all the time. If the job was worth having, the turnover wouldn't be this high.
You could be talking about my unit! Our turnover is unbelievable. And it seems that the majority of those leaving are either the very new nurses or the very senior ones, meaning the intermediate level group is left to hold the fort. I often wonder what will happen when all that's left are junior people and there isn't anyone with the necessary knowledge and skills set to care for the very critically ill child. Even now there are shifts where there might only be two senior nurses on out of 18 or more... and all the kids are too sick for the junior staff to handle. It's scary to be one of those seniors, let me tell you.
So what's the root cause of the problem? Part of the blame has to fall on the nursing schools for failing to give the new nurse a complete understanding of what working as a direct care provider is all about. And for giving the impression that graduation from their nursing school is the brass ring... once you have that degree in your hot little hand, you're The Bomb, so to speak, and can go out there and perform in that job as well as or better than anyone else. Part of the blame also has to go to management structures that place people in positions of authority for which they are not properly prepared or are totally ill-suited. For a manager to be a good and effective leader, they should at the very least understand what it it the people they are supervising do and how they do it. They should also spend time every day directly observing what's going on in their workplaces.
What's the solution? There is no one single magic cure-all. Wish there was...
PACNWNURSING
365 Posts
I have to say this is very discouraging to read all these stories after all those years of hard work to become an RN. This why I will most likely go to straight to working in the OR to avoid the bedside dumping of grad nurses. I still believe nurses should have a mandated internships like physicians do, to train them properly and give them an experience of what it will really be like for them. I still do not understand how hospitals are hiring brand new grads straight into ICU's with no experience. Oh heck maybe I will just go into NICU, let see the patients cant talk, check, easy on the back, check, Patient cant ambulate, check, patients are always clean and smell nice, check, makes u feel good and warm inside, check, Ah I love being a nurse.