Should I say something?

RNsRWe, ASN, RN · Mar 14, 2007

Yesterday we had a meeting at my LTC, the DON was going over a list of things that we as CNA need to be working on. When she gets to the issue of breaks, and looks at me and says, "no taking longer breaks or extra breaks, right Ivana." I just looked at her and didn't know what to say. She then said "Oh your just so easy."
How am I suppossed to respond to that comment? I have only been an aide for about 5 months now, this is my first job in healthcare. I have never taken an extra break nor gone over the allowed time for a break. I hardly ever get my breaks on time, if I do get my breaks. I don't smoke, so I am not one of the 15 other aides who are always ducking out for a quick smoke. So why did she single me out, infront of all the other aides? Mabey I just dont get her sense of humor, but I felt that her comment to me was truly uncalled for, if I was someone who was abusing the breaks, or if I was someone who complained about others abusing the breaks, I could see how her comments would be vaild.
Should I next time I work, ask to speak with her about the what she meant behind the comment, or should I just forget the whole thing.

While my first, knee-jerk reaction was "WHAT??" my next thought was that maybe it's just a sense of humor that didn't come out so well. If you read if from the angle I am now, imagine that she KNOWS you don't go on smokes, don't take extended breaks and sometimes don't GET breaks. So, when making a point about NOT doing those things, she pokes at you (who, obviously, is NOT the culprit). Then, when you don't bite, she says "oh, you're so easy", meaning that you were gullible to be caught surprised, or that you turned red quickly, or something like that.

If it's likely that that's where she's coming from, you don't have to say a thing because she KNOWS you aren't the problem. I could be way off base, but I don't think so.

RNfromMN, BSN, RN · Mar 14, 2007

You might want to think about saying something.

I have a feeling I'm going to get a lot of heat for admitting this (please remember, I'm just being honest!:chair:), but in an attempt to be "funny," I say stuff like your DON said all the time. Usually, believe it or not, it's out of affection for the person. I'ts never never never to be a bully, although it's often taken that way - which I hate & which makes me feel horrible about myself.

I can totally hear myself saying exactly what your DON said, picking someone that's an excellent employee, that doesn't always take her scheduled breaks (as opposed to others that do) & in sarcasm, making it sound like she's the problem, when it's probably pretty obvious that the reason for the new rule is because of other people (although, I don't think I would have added the "you're so easy" comment).

I always always always feel like absolute crap:smackingf when I realize that I've actually hurt someone's feelings, or that they took me seriously. It doesn't happen often - I've improved greatly on waiting until someone knows me well enough before I joke around with them - 99% of the time everyone knows I'm kidding & thinks it's funny. But, yeah, I was the queen of Foot-in-Mouth for awhile there.

I can't speak for the DON, but she might have said that because your co-workers are really abusing their breaks & she was too afraid to actually single them out, so she chose someone not in violation of the policy as a round-about-way of getting her point across - to emphasize her point, without actually pointing her finger @ the guilty parties. You've only been there 5 months, so maybe she said it in an attempt to joke around with you to get to know you better. :confused:

I think you should say something because otherwise, it'll just keep continuing, without her knowing that she really offended you. Or (as is the usual in my case), it'll just keep continuing until you get used to her sense of humor & your feelings will just continue to get hurt in the meantime. I have a number of friends who tell me they didn't know how to take me when they first met me, but they totally get my sense of humor now.

Good luck.

TazziRN, RN · Mar 14, 2007

Since you're not sure if the DON was joking or not, I would say something.

"Ms. DON, could I have a word with you? In the meeting when you mentioned the breaks and you mentioned my name, was that because there's a problem? Am I doing something wrong?"

caliotter3 · Mar 14, 2007

By all means talk to her about it and get matters cleared up. It seems to me that had she been joking, it would have been evident to you. If she has been getting erroneous info about your job performance, you will want to find out now and take steps to set the record straight.

LoveMyBugs, BSN, CNA, RN · Mar 15, 2007

By all means talk to her about it and get matters cleared up. It seems to me that had she been joking, it would have been evident to you. If she has been getting erroneous info about your job performance, you will want to find out now and take steps to set the record straight.

The next time I see her I will plan on asking her what she ment by that comment. I really am not sure if she was joking or not because I never really have spoken with her, I work Fri, Sat, and Sun swings, so the only times I have really seen her is on the off chance that she comes in on the weekend, and during our inserivce meetings. Another question, I have been there 5 months and have never recevied any feedback on my job performance, never got a 90 day evaluation, so far that off handed comment is the only feedback I have received, so is no feedback good or bad?

caliotter3 · Mar 15, 2007

In general no news is good news. I was even told that one time outright. However, I have been in at least one situation as a CNA and at least one situation as a licensed nurse, where I received no feedback to my detriment.

A licensed nurse one time was bragging about how she had not received a yearly evaluation in 8 years. That meant that for 8 years no supervisor was concerned with the fact that this nurse slept all night on night shift and ignored her patients. At the same time she was sleeping all night, I was busting my butt, doing a good job. I had to bring up the subject of my yearly evaluation being due to the supervisor. She was not even aware that it was my anniversary. I made certain that my eval was done and found its way into my personnel file. You have to always watch out for yourself. A good evaluation for a CNA can mean a good reference for nursing school or a good reference for a new job. You can't have that if the boss is getting bad feedback about you. I hope your discussion is productive and positive.