My first RN job has lead me to a more rural part of the country. As a person of color, I have never experienced racism to this degree.
Some instances are subtle at work, but some are pretty blatant.
My first experience occurred when my preceptor mentioned repeatedly that I have a "black card" so I must be golden at my new position. (I never questioned her on what she meant.) My preceptor also mentioned things like "since you are black things will get stolen from you." Phrases like 'slave driver' have also repeatedly been mentioned in passing with my preceptor. Since I was on orientation, I let a lot of comments go and ignored them, due to fear of being let go or retaliation.
Now, the worst thing is that I have noted on several occasions, confederate flags waving from behind pick up trucks.
I'm not sure if I can stick it out for over a year in this place. What would you do?
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I know that the following is not a solution and I hesitate to suggest it. But, if you are indeed planning on sticking it out, then you could consider seeing a doctor who can prescribe some anti-anxiety or sleep medication, so that you can focus on work. As of right now, it seems that you are concerned that the anxiety could affect your job. I think we all would feel anxious in the situation you are in. And, perhaps you just need something to help you physically be your best as you deal with this very hostile situation. Additionally, the doctor could document what is going on at work, in case it ever turned in to something that you needed to bring in to a court case in the future.
I can't even begin to tell you what to do. Obviously your mental health needs to be a huge priority. But I will say this, as someone who grew up in a town just like the one you're describing. It was, in part, exposure to intelligent people of color treating me kindly who helped me not grow up to be the kind of person who would wave a Confederate flag behind my truck. (Yes, I have a truck.) I still work in that same small town, and I can say that as a nurse, I have contact with huge percentage of people in my county (I float among ER. acute, clinic, and home health), many of whom do have Confederate flags behind their trucks, and that i truly relish the opportunity to be kind to them, even those who were not kind to me as a child. (That's a whole other story.) Maybe your presence and kindness in a time of need will help to change hearts.
But if you stay, definitely stand up for yourself at work, first in person as situations arise (smile, eye contact, reasonable tone: "I realize you probably didn't intend it this way, but what you said a minute ago was actually pretty unkind.") and then going up the chain of command if need be.
While I agree with other posters that a year helps with your resume, if you have any interest in moving to Texas, I know a lot of people and can quietly explain the circumstances of the short position. While racism exists everywhere and in all directions, you could easily find a safe home here
Thanks so much! Not sure what my wife would think of Texas. She is a real New Yorker. I appreciate the offer though!!
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I know that the following is not a solution and I hesitate to suggest it. But, if you are indeed planning on sticking it out, then you could consider seeing a doctor who can prescribe some anti-anxiety or sleep medication, so that you can focus on work. As of right now, it seems that you are concerned that the anxiety could affect your job. I think we all would feel anxious in the situation you are in. And, perhaps you just need something to help you physically be your best as you deal with this very hostile situation. Additionally, the doctor could document what is going on at work, in case it ever turned in to something that you needed to bring in to a court case in the future.
Thanks for your reply! I have actually thought of getting something for anxiety. I try to shy away from prescription medications. But you are right it can totally help. I have times where I am so depressed feeling ashamed but just talking about it has alleviated some of that shame. but the fear persists.
If you are willing to move again, consider Arkansas. I can't attest for the rest of the state, but the metro area where I am is pretty decent about the way people get along. The whole area is growing fast. If fact, most of the people I know are transplants from other states. So maybe that helps with the way people treat each other. There are over a half dozen hospitals in the metro, with several more within 30 miles. And all are hiring due to expansions. I just got flyers in the mail from the local children's hospital plus one that's 30 minutes away two days ago. Saying they were having an open house with hiring managers on site. I've gotten flyers like that for every hospital in the area, plus a bunch of smaller places like LTC, psych facilities, and hospitals in other parts of the state in the last couple of months. In fact, one hospital 2 hours away on the edge of the state recently expanded and was offering to put RNs up in a hotel if they signed up to go to their open house.
I grew up in Ohio and lived in both urban and rural areas. I now live near Charlotte, NC in a rural area, and I work in a small town. I have never witnessed blatant racism as bad as I did in pockets of rural Ohio, and neither has my husband, who is black. We feel comfortable where we are now, and the most racist thing I've experienced, besides the occasional rebel flag, is a few hard looks. I realize there are towns in the South that would probably trump anything I've ever seen. But my point is that racism can be found anywhere. And it is never ok.
Leave. Why put yourself through that torment? If that means working a job that you may not like but in a SAFER environment then that's just what it is. Just from my experience PEACE OF MIND is key. How much longer until your year mark? As stated you need to document these events when then happen and upon leaving have an in depth conversation with HR and give them this. If I were you I would speak with an attorney (outside the county but within the state). I have experienced racism covertly at work but only overtly outside of work. But that sh*t that you speak of is ridiculous. The fact that it's coming from leadership (precep) just floors me. It's bad enough that nurses eat their young but dang these sound like the type of folks that will just watched if G-d forbid some one tries to attack you on the way to your car or something. And speaking of which, you make sure you keep yourself protected maam. I worked in Psyc before and have had a few folks try to find me. I'll leave you here, no one has your back except you. Sad but true. Hold your head up QUEEN.
I am white but can sympathize with your issues. I work in a hospital in a part of town in which I am in the minority. I experienced racism first hand. I was called names. I was literally pushed aside in an effort to degrade me while at a patient bedside. I was screamed at by a nurse assistant saying that I needed to leave the unit as they need "real nurses" in there. I assure you, I have plenty of ciritical care experience. I also have a low threshold for unprofessionalism and dead weight. They didn't like that about me. Their mission, I am sure, was to make my life hell. Well, when a white patient grabbed my arm while I was going off shift she begged me to not leave her there. She said I had no idea what it was like when I wasn't there. I was stunned. Well, THAT was it! My mission became clear. To stand up for those that could not. I reported all the terrible infractions I saw to administration and they were nummerous form drug mishandling to infection control to pt neglect(in a detailed, factual and unemotional letter). I l knew for a patient to declare that they felt unsafe and were discriminated against would be a huge alarm to admin. and they did act on it promptly. I say all of this because our situations are reverse, yet similar and the minority patients under your care likely have similar stories yet fear to speak. You are their voice. Stand up and stand strong. Take notes and take your significant, policy and law breaking points straight to top administration. Your charges are significant and will just be squashed if taken to your unit manager. You have a right to work in a place that is professional. Meanwhile, don't let them see you get upset and stand up for yourself. If they are out of line, poiltely and firmly tell them so. You may be the only true professional there. Perhaps, at some point you could ask for a transfer to a different unit. You also have a right to not work in a hostile environment and your employer is accountable for that. Good luck!
I am so sorry you are going through this, OP. It literally brings tears of anger and sadness to my eyes; I don't know how you have managed to get through even one shift working in such an atmosphere/environment. You do not deserve any of this at all. You are a very, very strong person being able to deal with it at all!
I know you mentioned that you did not maybe like the idea of medication, but if you can find a counselor in your town that you trust, that is an option as well. I know you mentioned that "talking it out here seems to help" and talking it out with a counselor can help a lot too, since they are trained to be objective and help you deal with whatever situation is going on in your life. I know there is still a lot of stigma re: counseling, but it really does help (in my experience), and you do not have to tell anyone you are going; as well as that counselors are bound by confidentiality laws. If you find someone you trust, it might even be a neutral ground where you can bring your wife and discuss what is going on, with a neutral third party there to help you all with decision-making.
I don't know, I'm just throwing ideas out there. I just really hate that this is going on; there is no excuse for it whatsoever. I wish I could do more to help you. I don't know if it would help while you are still in this place of employment, to picture all of the supportive people on this thread kind of "with" you and supporting you to get through your shift; I know that does sound kind of silly though, but mentally we ARE with you. I hope (and pray if it's okay) that things get better soon and you can find a much better, new job and be appreciated and be able to do your work without having to be afraid for your personal safety, for goodness' sake!!! Nursing does NOT have to be like this!!! :)
I am so sorry that you have to endure this!! I don't necessarily feel you need to stay until the year mark. Especially if you will be leaving the area, would you be moving? Moving would be self explanatory if you were to seek new employment. Nursing is such hard work that brings on enough stress. You do not need/deserve any of this additional stress!! Take your skills elsewhere, where a great nurse is welcomed with open arms! Good Luck!
Thanks for your reply. I will most definitely be moving from this town.
Rover9000, CNA
1 Post
I'm so sorry that this is happening to you. I know that the following is not a solution and I hesitate to suggest it. But, if you are indeed planning on sticking it out, then you could consider seeing a doctor who can prescribe some anti-anxiety or sleep medication, so that you can focus on work. As of right now, it seems that you are concerned that the anxiety could affect your job. I think we all would feel anxious in the situation you are in. And, perhaps you just need something to help you physically be your best as you deal with this very hostile situation. Additionally, the doctor could document what is going on at work, in case it ever turned in to something that you needed to bring in to a court case in the future.