Published Jun 18, 2011
gorgeousngreen
5 Posts
Okay I have similar issue as some of the posts I've read on here. I will be going into my second semester of nursing school in the fall and I am debating whether to continue. When I left my career to become a nursing student, I never dreamed it would take so long to get through the process. With pre-reqs and just starting the program, I have spent 2 yrs and I still have 2 yrs to go. This will be my second degree and I just found out I am not eligible to receive any additional federal funding.
I recently became engaged and we are looking to get married next year. My fiance would prefer for me to go back to my career, he feels that nursing school is taking too long and he is ready to move on to the next phase of life. My goal is to become a nurse practitioner, but I am not sure anymore if I want to continue, just because time and money have become an issue. I currently work full time hours but the money is nothing like I made before, but the experience I am getting in the ER helps me apply what I am learning in class to real life situations.
What would you do?? Fiance would prefer for you not to continue - upcoming wedding, money is an issue (bills and debt), and student loans are running out vs. a career one day as a nurse practioner.
Side note - family and friends have offered to help with tuition and going back to my previous career would be a temporary solution because it involves extensive traveling.
Thanks for your comments, this decision has me so stressed!!
BacktotheBeach, ADN, BSN, RN
498 Posts
Look at the big picture-I think you will be better off in the long run financially and mentally doing what you would like! Long term, 2 years is nothing and it will fly by! Then you can work and take your time with the NP if that is still what you want to do.
Sand_Dollar, BSN
1,130 Posts
I totally understand where you are coming from about the time. I spent 2 years getting my A.S. then decided to apply to a different school and had to add another year of pre-reqs that the first school didn't need. I am in the middle of my first semester of NS and am thinking to myself, "holy cow, I still have 2 more years of this - it will be 5 flippin' years by the time I'm done!!"
However, I started this journey for a reason and I knew where I wanted to be when it was over. The kids and I used to travel with my husband when he worked out of town, and now he is gone most of the year by himself. We are very tight knit and this separation is taking a toll on my entire family. BUT, sometimes you have to make some sacrifices and go through some cr@p to reach your goal.
I understand your fiance wants you to quit, but you need to decide for *yourself* if this is what you want to do... nothing like looking back in 20 years and regretting the decision, trust me on this. You need to evaluate this decision independent of your fiance. What is the overall cost going to be, not only in loans but in lifetime wages. What about higher education later? Does your current occupation offer the variety and growth opportunities that nursing does? If you decide you want to keep going, then you need to show your fiance the facts and convince him of your choice. If he doesn't want this because it will impact him too much, you need to take a step back and see if your fiance has your best interests at heart....or his.
I can see a few options if I were in your shoes. 1. Put the wedding off until school is over. 2. Have a smaller wedding 3. Deal with your debt responsibly: cut the fat and live within a smaller budget. (See Dave Ramsey for ideas) 4. Quit school
BTW. Just last week my husband was faced with the possibility of losing his job, he is the sole wage earner. I thought about what we would do if he did lose his job and I decided I would do whatever needed to be done: replace my jeep with a jalopy, rent our house and get a cheap apartment near campus. Work part time and get the best dang grades I could, because now dropping out or failure was not an option. Luckily hubby still has his job but I decided no matter what, I am going to graduate, I owe it to my family. I have already invested too much time, money, effort and their faith in me to stop now.
Good luck with everything, I hope it all works out for the best, whichever path you chose. :)
~SD
Thanks for the feedback! I know you are right, its just hard when you are in the middle of the process.
Sand Dollar, thank you so much for the thoughtful response! You have given me some really good points to think about. I really have to do some soul searching for myself! Thanks for including the experience you had with your husband's job, to often these days people are losing their jobs left and right, and without the stability of a field like nursing, there is no real way of knowing if you have job security or not.
I will definitely research Dave Ramsey for financial advice and review priorities - there is definitely som room to cut back. Thanks again!!
BeenThereDoneThat74, MSN, RN
1,937 Posts
May I ask how old you are? This is relevant, b/c it seems the younger you are, the more in a rush you seems to be.
This is also relevant b/c of how many years you have left to work; whether it be as a nurse, or in your current/previous career. If you're talking 30+ years, that is a long time to be unhappy and unsatisfied in what you are doing. In the grand scheme of things, 2 more years may be a drop in the bucket.
Regarding your fiance (whom I know you love dearly:redbeathe). it is not his decision; it is yours. I know you value his input, and yes you should respect each others' opinions when it comes to important decisions (career being a major one), but ultimately this is something you need to decide for yourself. You also have to think about the what-if's (I know you don't want to right now): I am not just talking about if the two of you are not together forever. I'm talking about if something should happen to him and he cannot contribute financially. Despie what you may read here nursing is a solid career. You may never make 6 figures, but you have flexibility and it is a salary that can provide for a family. I know some may disagree, but it is relative (there are plenty of people who live on less than a nurses salary).
Regarding the wedding: ok, here's my biased opinion: your wedding day will be the most wonderful day of your life, whether it is in city hall, or in a 5 star catering hall. I think it would be unwise for you to plan a big wedding while in school. It is a distraction from your studies, and money that you obviously don't have. I say this, b/c I just got remarried 2 months ago (in the middle of my semester teaching). It was small, low key and cheap!! While there is no correalation, I can't not mention that my first one was much bigger and traditional (and ended up in divorce).
Don't make any rash decisions yet. Really think about what is important to you.
ImThatGuy, BSN, RN
2,139 Posts
I'm a career changer of sorts as well, and this BSN is my second bachelor's also. I miss my previous career although I still do it in a way. I guess what I miss most is the position and salary that I had compared to the much lower level one that I took to give me time to go back to school. I also miss my personal freedom and the substantial autonomy I had at work that I'll never get as a nurse. I never really imagined it taking more than a year although I knew I was getting into a two year sequences of courses. The nursing courses aren't all that challenging for me so school "stress" isn't an issue. Thankfully, I had all the prereqs with my previous degree, but I don't want to go on now either. I've lost interest honestly. I don't want to do this bad enough, however, I'm halfway finished. It'd be foolhearty not to continue and at least work long enough as a nurse to make up for what I've spent on school and lost IRA contributions. It'd take me a good while to promote all over again and be on par with where I was and nursing will put me more near that than sitting around doing what I'm doing currently.
Only you can decide what's best for you. Now, that I've ran off on this fool's errand of going back to school I think the best thing for me to do at this point is finish. You've got more on your plate than I do. I can't make your decision or even begin to tell you what you should do. The decision won't come easily, but when you decide just stick with it and push on.
MOnurse2013
13 Posts
I'm a career changer as well - and I am sure that going into nursing is the best option for me. I have been looking at job boards for my previous degree, and I'm lucky if 1 job comes up monthly in my area in my original field of study. If your degree has plenty of job opportunities, then by all means stick with it!! If you're like me, however, and the jobs are few and far between, then make the sacrifice and get into something that has decent economic opportunities.
Thank you all for your advice. It is good to know different opinions, especially from those who have also changed careers.
@nurse educate, I am 27 years old
~Mi Vida Loca~RN, ASN, RN
5,259 Posts
Don't let your fiance be the deciding factor in your decision. If you opt out for example and give it up because it was what he really wanted you might grown to resent him for taking away your dreams. Even if you feel ok with it at the time and think you can live with the decision. It has to be your decision without outside pressures of what others want.
Side note: Dave Ramsey has excellent financial advice, I did his Financial Peace University and learned so much. I can't wait to really start implementing his ideas once I start getting my paychecks.
ETA: You are already in Nursing School. I would highly considering at least finishing it out and getting your RN. Then decide where you want to go.
nrsstudent2010
33 Posts
I'm 26 pursuing my 2nd bachelors as well. I've been with my boyfriend for nearly six years. I know you love your fiance, but you need to do you. I'm incredibly lucky in that my boyfriend is extremely understanding and knows that this is my goal and supports it 100%. You are still young and you can get married whenever. When your 40, you aren't going to look back and say... "gee, I wish I had gotten married a year or two sooner than I did" no, you are going to look back and regret that you didn't pursue your dreams and goals and then on top of that, you'll be resenting your significant other. 2 years, or even 4 years is so short relative to the rest of your life, and your career choice will have an impact on your happiness.
I worked in a field completely unrelated to nursing with my first bachelors and was miserable. I came home miserable, stressed and hated my job, and trust me, it takes its toll, despite the great money and perks. Of course I want to get married and jump into life with my boyfriend without school in the background, but we both realize that although this might be a little bit of a longer road, in the end, we will both be happier.
Good luck in whatever your decision is, but make sure it's YOUR decision.
SunshineDaisy, ASN, RN
1,295 Posts
I ditto the others as well. 2 years really isn't that long in the grand scheme of things. If it's something you want to do then don't stop because he wants you to. I am 34, have been in school off and on for 13 years and all I have to show for it is an AA I was working towards a bachelors in psychology, had some very unexpecting life changes that made me see things clearly and change my course of study to nursing. I was out of school for almost 4 years when I went back and had to basically start all over with my prereqs! I have been in school now for almost 3 years and am starting NS again this fall (I had started in Jan but got booted). Anyways, my point is that yes, it does take awhile no matter who you are!