Should autism parenting be an Olympic event? A trip to the dentist

An autism mom/warrior shares the "lived experience" of taking her daughter diagnosed with autism to the dentist. Details include the preparation, car ride, and actual examination. Questions follow regarding how we can support similarly situated patients, nurses, and their families. Resources related to dental health care for people with disabilities are also included. Nurses General Nursing Article

Plans for my 28 year old daughter's "routine" dental visit begin two months ahead of time. I make the appointment and schedule time off from work. Then, I call her psychiatrist to request medication for the appointment.

Anxiety starts to permeate our family as the day of the dental appointment slowly approaches.

Breathe Donna, breathe.

The day of the appointment is finally here. I dress "appropriately" for the event, call her day program and explain the early pick-up and cancel her transportation home from the day program.

We pick up Lauren at her day program around 11:00. She eats lunch and takes her medication in the car. Tom and I skip lunch and eat a few carrots and some string cheese. It is a two hour long drive to the special needs dental clinic in Miami.

A traffic jam on Interstate 95 brings us to a complete stop. From the back seat, Lauren begins to act out- banging on the car windows, kicking the front seat and pulling Tom's hair. Finally, traffic starts to move and calm is restored.

We arrive in Miami at last. We have to walk into the building through a certain door to avoid the soda and snack machines. After a trip to the bathroom, we check in at the desk. Then, we wait.....today not so long.....about 30 minutes.

Tom is getting more and more anxious as the minutes tick away. He is pacing. I sit showing Lauren pictures on my phone.

Breathe Donna, breathe.

They finally call Lauren's name and she refuses to get off her seat. It takes 3 people to cajole her into moving into the clinic area. There awaits a papoose positioned on the exam table. Lauren begins to act out...she pulls my hair and rips my shirt (thankfully I dressed appropriately for the event). She throws her glasses on the floor (thankfully the expensive, unbreakable kind).

A female dentist is wearing a head scarf. Lauren wants to take the head scarf off her. In the midst of a behavioral outburst, how do you explain to a person with autism that some women wear head scarfs?

Four people lift Lauren onto the table and the papoose is secured. Lauren immediately calms down. I think she is comforted by being inside the papoose. She screams occasionally but "within normal limits". She manages to wiggle out one leg and her sneakers are tossed on the floor. She is stronger than all of us. In order to get x-rays and a cleaning done, it took two dentists, one assistant and two parents.

Breathe Donna, breathe.

High fives, hugs and a promised Diet Coke conclude this visit. No cavities...see you in 6 months.

We got back in the car and drove the two-hour ride home in 5:00 p.m. traffic.

Breathe Donna, breathe.

Parents are raising significantly disabled children, often with little or no support. Many parents continue to work and juggle job-related responsibilities along with the care of their child. All of the other life issues impact these families as well (siblings, illness, aging parents, divorce, school, therapy and medical appointments, meetings with service providers, baseball games, battles with insurance companies, grocery shopping, cooking, cleaning, holidays, vacations and financial challenges).

As we see more and more children and adults diagnosed on the autism spectrum, what can we do to help families more? Are nurses accommodated for having to meet the needs of their disabled children? Do colleagues reach out and offer to help these nurses?

Have we lost nurses due to the challenges of raising children with autism spectrum disorders and other disabilities? If so, would some of them return to practice if workplaces were more supportive?

Meeting the needs of people with autism and their families is a large scale Olympic event. We need everyone to raise a flag.

Love to hear your thoughts, suggestions or experiences.

Below you will find some resources related to dental care for people with autism and related disabilities.

American Academy of Developmental Medicine and Dentistry

American Academy of Developmental Medicine and Dentistry

National Institute of Dental and Craniofacial Research

Practical Oral Care for People With Autism

Specializes in Pediatrics, developmental disabilities.
You have no idea how much this post helped me....Lauren has no cavities...regular visits, no sugary foods, daily brushing.... my efforts have paid off...

So sorry for the young man you took to the dentist:(

First off, thanks for the wonderful article you wrote.

Secondly, my oldest (who is also on the lower end of the "spectrum") unfortunately had some cavities that needed to be filled. While we are diligent about her oral hygiene, we do let her eat sugary foods (she truly enjoys it, and who am I to deny her a simple pleasure?). What really took its toll were her anti-seizure meds, however.

Naturally, a trip to the dentist that entailed fillings filled us with dread, particularly my wife who had decided to take her on her own. Of course, our daughter threw us for a loop by not only having an easy of time of it, but also allowing the dentist to do one more filling than planned AND by being almost as good about it for the SECOND visit!!!

Just when I think I have something about her figured out, she throws another wrench into the works.

"she" is wrong. Message me if you need help. My son was not diagnosed until age 7 so we had w crap ton of roadblocks

Same here--only my son had just turned 11. Old enough to realize something was "off" but was not sure what.

And the school's educational psychologist did hours of testing (finally) and he got a diagnosis. Which then the very school that had him tested (and the professional had been doing this for well over 30 years) said that the testing was "wrong" and that somehow, I got a need met by having a child that is on the spectrum. Oh, yes....at almost 50, I am JUST so INTO parenting a child who has needs to the point of making it about me. Not.

With all this in mind, my oldest is a social worker who specializes in severe cases. She loves it, is good at it, and thank goodness she does!

My middle is in a Master's program for education, emphasis on special needs.

There are some amazing young people coming out of the universities who have such positive energy!! Hopefully, they will infiltrate the schools and the agencies.....

Specializes in Pediatrics, developmental disabilities.

How old is she?

We had a much easier time when my daughter was younger...no meds..no papoose. Things got progressively worse when we had to move into adult services.

How old is she?

We had a much easier time when my daughter was younger...no meds..no papoose. Things got progressively worse when we had to move into adult services.

Those big transition times can really stink! Moving from pediatric to adult services is a huge adjustment for everyone.

Specializes in Tele, ICU, Staff Development.

Very moving article Thank you for sharing. I had no idea how difficult day to day things can be.

Specializes in Pediatrics, developmental disabilities.

Thanks Beth...one of the reasons I am public about this....it can be very difficult.

Specializes in Pediatrics, developmental disabilities.

There is a dental clinic in Massachusetts that only sees special-needs patients. It has been running for 30 years.I am a dental assistant at one of the eight clinics.

Here is a link to the website:

Dental Care for Patients with Intellectual and Developmental Disabilities - Tufts University School of Dental Medicine

If a patient cannot be safely taken care of in clinic they are referred to our operating room program.

I wish that all states had a program like ours.

Specializes in Med/Surg, Ortho, ASC.
How old is she?

We had a much easier time when my daughter was younger...no meds..no papoose. Things got progressively worse when we had to move into adult services.

OP, when you are responding directly to another post, it is so helpful when you use the "quote" button on the bottom right of that post. That way, those of us following along can see who/what you are responding to. It really makes the thread flow nicely.

Thanks!

Specializes in Pediatrics, developmental disabilities.

Thank you so much for sharing!

Specializes in Pediatrics, developmental disabilities.

This is so, so sad.