Share The Weirdest Reasons Patients Push The Call Light

meintheUSA · Oct 21, 2006

:rotfl: :roll :yelclap: :yeah:

This goes back to when I was a new grad. I had a man ring the call bell because he wanted me to scratch his member. I told him, "There are some things that I don't get paid to do. That is one of them." So he asked if I wouldn't mind washing it. Well, he was a bit ripe so I agreed. As I was doing this he groaned as if he was "enjoying himself." It occurred to me that it would be best if he didn't itch down there anymore because it was gonna be a long 8 hours if he was going to ring in every time he had an itch "down there," and groan with pleasure while being washed (eeewww!!). So I looked around the room and saw the answer---lidocaine jelly. Yep... smeared it all over that bad boy. Pt thanked me and I wasn't asked to "scratch the itch" or "wash it" again the entire shift.

LOTFLMAO.... Quick thinking.... that is an award thought.....

NurseyBaby'05, BSN, RN · Oct 21, 2006

Ours TV controls are on the call light. At least once a night some keeps "false alarming" over and over. We have an intercom system; so after about 2-3 "May I help you's", I go to the room. When I go back, they tell me the control won't turn off the TV. :rolleyes: No, the red button with the outline of the nurse usually doesn't.

TDub, MSN, EdD · Oct 21, 2006

hee hee "bad boy" hee hee

Mommy TeleRN, RN · Oct 23, 2006

last night I had a pt call who swore up and down her room was full of smoke. I explained that no there was no smoke in her room. She kept waking up all night long. I think she finally konked out after morphine and haldol (not my patient..I'm a student)

RNsoon! · Oct 23, 2006

One time I had a patient who rang the bell all night long. When we all ran in there he would scram out," Help me!" " Help Me!" I'm dead! I'm dead!" " You have to help me!"
I had another patient who insteted that I was her husband and she would ring, "b/c she just wanted to see him." I am 100% FEMALE!!
Another one of my patients often rang the bell. When I would go into her room she would ask me if I was God. I told her no the 1st 100 times. She would reply, "Ok then, I'm just trying to call God." " Leave me alone so I can do that in peace!."
2 other resons why my patients rang the bell...
1) Monsters under the bed.
2) Lighting bolts in the room.

This post made me pee in my pants!!! LMAO

k_cole21 · Oct 23, 2006

Let me set the scene:

5 nurses, 9 labor pts, 3 antepartums, 6 deliveries in 4 hours, 1 nurse becomes a pt in ER for severe h/a & n/v, and you answer the call light for one of the lovely antepartums (the nurse answers the light, not the unit clerk or scrub tech):

"Can you toast my bagel?"

Priceless! Lol

brendamyheart · Oct 23, 2006

I was working the evening shift. I was looking down the hall. I saw a call light come on and went to answer it. (No resident was assigned to that room). When I saw no one in the room. I shut off the call light and ran out of there!! It came me the chills!!

grace90, LPN, LVN · Oct 25, 2006

little old man on the rehab unit recovering from a stroke, rang the bell a couple nights ago and wanted to know who won the 2nd World Series game between the Tigers and the Cardinals

TDub, MSN, EdD · Oct 25, 2006

little old man on the rehab unit recovering from a stroke, rang the bell a couple nights ago and wanted to know who won the 2nd World Series game between the Tigers and the Cardinals

That's a legit reason!

Nilnada0 · Oct 26, 2006

I'm a CNA at a at a long term care facility. One day, one of our ladies hit a call light for her roommate. Turns out her roommate (AOx3) developed an infection of some sort and was hallucinating. She was seeing little red ants marching all the way from the front door to her bed. She claimed "They looked up at me with the most sincere faces". One of the funniest phrases I think I've heard yet. She was sent to the hospital that day and came back on antibiotics and ended up okay after a day or two.

cc71 · Oct 27, 2006

A while back, I administered something called a "Muse" (if I recall correctly). This was a penile suppository. The pt. had neuropathy and kept developing infections in and around the member because he had difficulty with the foreskin (retracting and cleaning). This suppository allowed for an erection for the pt. to care for himself. A few minutes after administering, he pushed the call light. When I entered he said, you didn't give me my d### medicine. I told him that I did and he said "yeah, but you didn't finish". I said "yes, it has been inserted" and I left the room. He called again so I went back in and he said that I was supposed to JA### H## O##. I joked and said "no I don't think that was on the instructions!" He called again so... third time is a charm. He said that the medicine would not work unless he ejaculated, I stated "Well, 1.) it says nothing about that on the drug monograph, 2.)the MD placed no 'ejaculatory procedures' on the chart and 3.) you seem to be using the call light button just fine, so maybe you should finish administering the medication yourself!!!":monkeydance:

Nurse`Chief~Chickie · Oct 27, 2006

we have a ff/seeker who is astoundingly needy. she has a laundry list of issues, can't keep her stories straight and seeks no outside help that her doc provides her. aggravating should paint the picture. anyhoo. she always wants more socks(because her ins pays for the 1st pair and we pay for the rest, heehee. her words not mine.) i could go on for days. the most recent would be after unsuccessfully berating us into giving her some narcs(not ordered yet, surprised me.) she rang and rang made a trillion trips to the desk and so on. i was filling in at the desk and an outside line rang.

the caller asked if dr mmmm was on call.

maam, i can only say that we have a dr available in the ed.

well, can you tell me where to reach him.

no maam.

well, i need to talk to him. i'm one of his pts. ( this part is not uncommon. )

i' m a pt of his down the way, eerr, well down the hall, actually, this is ms crazy mcfruitloop in rm 110. i need to let him know some things.

i said please hold.

my chg nurse told her this was not acceptable, :nono: and to use her call light as we do answer it promptly.

90 seconds later, here she comes! out to smoke but wanted to add she didn't know she had done anything wrong! she just thought it would be the best way to get the dr!! and oddly, after all these years( yes, years) i didn't recognise her voice!

:smackingf

my honey had a pt for years who would call on his cell phone from his rm to the rt office to ask him for a breathing tx!