sensitive person here, and re-entering nursing, how to grow a thick skin

[thekid]

I'll be re-entering the field of nursing after an 8 year hiatus, unfortunately I'm still sensitive and tend to take things too personally like when doctors yell at me or someone is upset.

For seasoned nurses, how do you not internalize the potential anger that can build up and how have you constructively vented it? How do you remain calm but not take it personally and let it affect you on a day to day basis?

[Batman24]

I'm very sensitive and have had a hard time in the past letting things roll off my back as well, but I've gotten better about it. If anyone is abusive whether it be a co-worker, doctor, patient or family I stop them in their tracks because it's unacceptable. That's non-negotiable for me. It's all about drawing boundaries for yourself and following through on them.

If I feel the person has a genuine reason to be upset I hear them out and then work on solving the problem at hand versus worrying about them being mad at me, etc. Often it doesn't even have anything to do with us so it truly isn't personal. It lets me focus on the problem at hand and not the emotion that is often attached to it. I stop the drama and hoopla right where it is and when you move on and take charge you will be surprised at how quickly you can get things under control again.

It's also important to keep in mind that if patients are whiny that they are sick and feeling out of control. I don't tolerate abuse but I do give the patients some leeway when they are feeling upset and icky. For those that are going to be hospitalized for a few days, a week, etc. I often remind them this is just temporary and soon enough they will be home again with family and friends in their own bed. They love to be reminded of that and you acknowledge that they are feeling lonely and miss their life.

[thekid]

Thank you so much for your post!

[VivaLasViejas, ASN, RN]

The thing to remember is that unless the critical/demanding/whiny/petty/PITA patient knows you personally and holds a grudge of some kind, he or she isn't really aiming his/her displeasure at YOU.

To your patient, you aren't really a human being with feelings; you are part and parcel of a healthcare facility, which unfortunately may serve as a reminder of something he or she doesn't really want to deal with. Few people relish the patient role---fraught as it is with feelings of helplessness and weakness---and even fewer like being reminded of their mortality. There's also nothing like a hospital stay to make you feel like you've lost all control over your life!

So when patients get nasty, PLEASE don't take it personally. Somebody calling you a bad nurse or some other name doesn't make it so. You don't have to put up with physical or verbal abuse, but you should understand that folks aren't usually at their best when ill or in pain and sometimes they will say things they wouldn't under ordinary circumstances. Remember, "this too shall pass".......your shift will end, you'll get to hand the keys over to someone else, and you'll be able to go home where your real life is.

Oh, and as for doctors: They put their pants on one leg at a time just like we do. They're not God (no matter what some of 'em think). Don't be intimidated---just have your ducks lined up when dealing with them so they don't think you're wasting their time.

Good luck to you!

[talaxandra]

Awesome, Viva!

Unless it actually is personal, I don't even hear anything except "I'm upset, tanty, tanty" - and it can't be personal if it's coming from someone who doesn't know me. Besides, I know I'm always right, which automatically makes anyone who disagrees with me wrong

[RNperdiem, RN]

Keep things in perspective.

Doctors seldom "yell" in the theatrical sense.

They express irritation and frustruation just like any of us.

The dramatic torrents of hysterical verbal abuse you might be imagining are rare happenings. It has never happened to me in my 10 years.

The other posters have explained it perfectly about patients; I can't add anything there.

[wonderbee, BSN, RN]

We do seem to be magnets for abuse and it's really hard to turn down the "oh that hurt" barometer. Everyone has a different set point. Patients rarely hit my sore spot. Neither do the doctors. It's my fellow nurses who can get to me and unfortunately there are a couple of bullies. I've learned to choose my battles. I will stand up for myself when I'm being targeted. One has to or the bullies will keep on bullying. Other than that, it goes in one ear and out the other.

[thekid]

So far I've never been troubled or hurt by what a patient has said, I can understand where they are coming from. I suppose most of it stems from being intimidated by docs and staff , I'll feel shaky about standing my ground since I'll be so 'new' again

thanks for the great responses