I've been a nurse for 6 years and I'm pretty decent at it. I've achieved pretty quickly, got the good jobs, won awards, and even saved some lives. Sounds like I should like my job. What I've learned here lately is that the social obligations and demands of nursing WEAR ME DOWN. Being forced to be cordial with co-workers, nice to all your patients/families, basically having to talk when I don't feel like it at all. And I've found the MOST draining thing is to put on that fake act and smile like the cheshire cat for 98% of your shift just to please the masses. Don't misconstrue this, I care about people and I genuinely enjoy helping them; it just comes at a price I wish wasn't so high for myself.
I need some advice from my fellow introverted nurses....
Lastly, there's a quick poll question below if you don;t mind....thanks!
"I think introverts are really good at being friendly because we're so aware of our actions and how we come across to other people. It doesn't come naturally to us so we have to make sure we're faking it well, and I think it works a lot of the time. Not trying to say I don't enjoy talking to people because I really do a lot of the time, I just feel like I have to overcompensate for being introverted."
​Spot on! I can totally relate to this!!!!! Glad I'm not alone.
Specializes in Utilization Review, Critical Care, OR, SNF.
This. And you're not alone. I always say, I'm an introvert who plays an extrovert in real life. I was in CVICU for a longgg time, and the nightshift was a godsend. Our unit was designed in such a way as to make congregating together rather difficult. I pretty much hung out in/around my room(s). I've also had to be extroverted as a DON, which was HARD. "Smile and nod" is hard for me. I'd get "what's wrong" all the time, when all I was doing was thinking. Guess I have the resting BF, LOL. These days, I work from home for an insurance company, and could not be happier. I appreciate the quiet, and the ability to focus without a bunch of distractions.
My family calls me antisocial and they are just dumbfounded that I'm able to function in an environment where I must interact with people that I don't even know. I credit my game face to my portion of the American debt. I owe, I owe. So, off to work I go:singing:
I had to look up the definition just to make sure and found this. "There is no such thing as a pure introvert or extrovert. Such a person would be in the lunatic asylum." —Carl G. Jung
I was actually born in the local mental institution near here. I guess that not only makes me pure, but certifiable as well.
I wasn't sure whether to be offended or amused at this comment. In the end I just sighed and shook my head. ICU is by far the most emotionally draining unit to work, other than pediatric oncology (which I am not strong enough to do). While true that the patients are often sedated and unresponsive, you have never seen such a clusterfuk of family dynamics when dozens of dysfunctional relatives show up at the bedside when they hear Tutu isn't going to make it. Exhausting!
To the original question, I am an introvert, but have a work persona. When I get off this leads to some friction with my spouse when she doesn't understand I need some downtime playing computer games or reading the internet news. Whatever your personality is, nursing is an exhausting profession, mentally, emotionally, and physically.
Cheers
Whoa whoa, yes ICU is by far the most draining and exhausting place to be, but there are tons of nurses (ICU Rns included) that recommend that unit for shy or introverted people. So I don't think he meant to offend anyone...
I was always thought weird on my jobs because I kept to myself. Truth was I needed to focus and keep my mind on what I was doing. So I never joined in on the gossip groups, the break room gab sessions etc. I read during breaks, went to classes whenever I could. I helped my coworkers and expected help in return. I know I had a reputation for being somewhat stand-offish but when folks wanted serious help or solutions they came to me. I practiced for 43 years and felt confident in my expertise but always asked others if I felt warranted. I found others like me from time to time and we would become fast friends. The last place I worked I bonded with a RN who had been slammed for her habit of being introverted. We would get on the hall and help each other , bail each other out, step in during emergencies. One day she told me "I have never worked with anyone like you before (25 years) its so neat to have someone to rely on." Made my day I have to tell you. I worked hard and smart, I took good care of people and always talked to my patients and families. At times I talked to patients and families that I was not assigned to in addition to mine. I found after awhile people (staff and patients)sought me out because I was always open to them and took them seriously. I was always about taking action and following through and they knew that. There is nothing wrong with being an introvert, make it work for you. In my book it's called being professional. Not aloof mind you, always make yourself open but on your schedule, but it never hurt anyone to stop and listen to someone, especially some one in turmoil or pain.
Have you thought about trying out the OR...zero family contact, one patient who is asleep, and if you are a quick learner and are good at time mgmt it could be a good fit!
I'm pretty introverted but also shy with people I don't know (mainly coworkers- not patients, which is weird). It constantly makes me wonder what others are thinking of me- I wish I could stop that!!
Has anyone bonded with a coworker over being introverted or shy?
I wasn't being rude about the ICU comment. I think it's just the least taxing on interaction with people if you don't like that sort of thing. The only other suggestion is to break out of your shell
I had to do it. I was an introvert before I started Nursing school. I sort of / kind of am to an extent. But I had to learn to break out of it. I used to be the type that would just come home for work, shut my house door, lock myself in my den where I had all the caffeine I ever needed and just immerse myself online. The only friends I ever made before starting this new career was my first time through college - just a handful of us - and after those 4 years were over, we all went back to our home states and really never talked to each other after that - and that was back when the only online service was either Prodigy or AOL, and charged a $14.95 a month fee for like 300 minutes
Another possibility would be to get your PhD in nursing and do research. It's an expensive option, but rewarding one. I've been thinking about it...but now that I have broken out of my shell a bit I may actually want to teach nursing courses. The ICU comment was just an off the cuff response for something people who are introverts and not ready to break out yet as something they can do short term until you find your niche. Probably the worst thing someone can do who is an introvert is home health. That requires a LOT of interaction with patients, family, physicians, and in a very uncomfortable atmosphere at times.
Point is there are still many ways to find a fit with your personality.
Strange thing Kay - where I work now as an aid until I take my NCLEX and pass it on Monday (yes...I keep telling myself I WILL PASS even though I am super nervous) - the staff is pretty well knit together. You just have to find a place that you love to be and where people will not judge you. I was at a place where it was very unhealthy - toxic even - before this, and I just left...I had to for my own sanity. You would say hi to other staff members in the hallway, and they would walk right past you as if you didn't even exist.
The place I am at now is like a 360 degree reversal from that...and that makes it a lot easier to bond with people. You don't have to go to all the staff meetings and outings and all of those things. The team building activities are just ways to de-stress from work, which (even though I haven't been a part of yet since I just started in July) I think are pretty cool.
Sometimes let other people take the leadership in bonding with you as a co-worker. Let someone come to you and it could be something simple like showing you how they do something (but whatever you do don't take it personal! - it's just a way that maybe they would like to invite you into their world).
Like Moldy said though, maybe some are comfortable being introverted.
Night shift is a different breed...and I love it! I admit I came on here and had my doubts about precepting on nights...now I'm working it because I love it so much. Some days it is a trying shift, but I still love it.
I owe, I owe. So, off to work I go:singing:
poko, BSN, RN
80 Posts
"I think introverts are really good at being friendly because we're so aware of our actions and how we come across to other people. It doesn't come naturally to us so we have to make sure we're faking it well, and I think it works a lot of the time. Not trying to say I don't enjoy talking to people because I really do a lot of the time, I just feel like I have to overcompensate for being introverted."
​Spot on! I can totally relate to this!!!!! Glad I'm not alone.