Seeing people in pain...?

lunden · Oct 23, 2008

i think u would make a fine nurse. having compassion is a big part of nursing. i'm waiting on acceptance letter for spring 09 too. good luck 2 the both of us!

accessqueen · Oct 23, 2008

There are times when you will get emotional and rightly so. You are a human being and we all have emotions. Usuallly, though, as a nurse you have a job to do, which keeps your brain busy, so you are not emotionally falling apart every minute.

racing-mom4, BSN, RN · Oct 23, 2008

I cry at every death when family is present. If family is crying, i am crying. If the patient is alone when they pass I dont cry, it is seeing the hurt in the families that breaks my heart as I know the patient (albeit dead) is now in a better place.

I have been sent the most lovely personal thank you cards because family really knows I cared for them. I have been given countless baskets of fruit and funeral flowers brought up to the unit. I have had bear hugs and invited to funerals~~never attended a patient funeral though~~the Nurses I work with know I am good at comforting the family of the dying, so they will always assisgn me to the dying patients. I work with some nurses that avoid familys like the plague where as even though it is sad, I gravitate to them. I feel like I am there to not only keep thier loved one comfortable but to comfort them too.

So dont let your emotional heart keep you away. From what I have seen family appreciates it.

FYI I do follow the families lead though, I have had deaths happen that were very quick and the family was in almost a state of shock and did not show any emotion, I didnt either, I was very methodical. But show me a anyone with tears in thier eyes and my heart swells and my eyes mist.

VivaRN · Oct 23, 2008

I started my career as a Burn ICU nurse and had the experience of seeing a lot of people in physical and emotional pain.

The key is to understand a difference between sympathy and empathy. If you are empathizing, you put yourself in the hole with the person. What's the end result? Two people in the hole. With sympathy, you are giving a rope and a listening ear. This means understanding where they are coming from, but without putting yourself in their place. This is ultimately more helpful to the person and emotionally healthy for you. Practice listening this way.

Also when you are empathizing you may be so focused on your own emotions you may not truly hear what is being said... whether its "my grief is out of control" or "I can't cope with my child" and you need to intervene.

There will always be suffering in the world, and part of the joy of nursing is that we can be close to that. To have someone let you see them in a vulnerable position is a privilege and a trust. When someone is in pain, see yourself as a guide that they can lean on. Don't get in the hole. Focus on them and not yourself. Help them process their emotions in the moment, even if it means just listening, until they can climb out.

I'm sure you will be a wonderful nurse because of your compassion.

prmenrs, RN · Oct 23, 2008

There are times when you will get emotional and rightly so. You are a human being and we all have emotions. Usuallly, though, as a nurse you have a job to do, which keeps your brain busy, so you are not emotionally falling apart every minute.

Great response! If you're trying to keep track of VS, IVs, output, meds, skin care, ventilator settings, lab draws and results and documenting, you are too dang busy to cry, trust me! The whole picture may "get to you" in a quieter moments, but those may be few and far between.

RN4Little1s · Oct 23, 2008

I would say I am almost equally as emtoinal as you. And it also hurts me to see my patients in physical pain. But the cries from family members, be it my patient or one that I have never taken care of, hit me hard. Some people are just very sensitive. When it is a patient you have bonded with it will hurt. But I do not think this should in anyway keep you from becoming a nurse. Your connection to patients and families will pay off more than it would ever hurt you. And I agree that when you are busy as the caregiver for a patient with a declining condition, your focus will be on your care.

steelmagnoliap9422 · Oct 23, 2008

Dont be discouraged. I get misty eyed all of the time when my patients arent doing well, Especially vets. I think crying just means you're human and sometimes I see where people have gotten so used to being around the sick and dying that they show nothing at all, and thats not good. People will appreciate your sympathy and may feel comfortable enough to leave the pt bedside for some much needed rest, if they see that you care about their loved one enough to cry. :typing

misslisa · Oct 24, 2008

Thanks for all the thoughts/ideas - I never thought of the busy aspect. Whenever I feel like I am going to get emotional about something I divert my attention (now that I think about it I hope I haven't offended anyone by doing that! lol).

It's good to know others feel the same - or similar!

I absolutely am going to be a nurse - no question about it...I just have really wondered about how to deal with myself!

It'll happen....I hope instructors aren't mean about it!:stone

:)Lisa