Second Interview--Did I Ruin My Chance?

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Sep 20, 2013

Your husband isn't being too damn helpful about this. He can thaw breast milk and put it in a bottle (it's not called "babysitting" when it's your own kid).

NOW, months before delivery, is the time to connect with La Leche League (they're in the phone book or online) to talk with women who can help and support you establish and maintain breastfeeding while working full time. If you can take time off until your baby is 10-12 weeks old your chances are excellent.

You have not "ruined your chances." The only thing that might is that they get some experienced ER people applying, and they did specify they wanted people with experience, not new grads. They understand about being parents, so don't think about they MIGHT think you "can't handle full time work with a baby"--I'll bet some of them did exactly that, and they are entitled to take you at your word that you can do it. They might want you anyway if you presented well and as someone they could envision as a member of their team, though, so stop worrying about mights and what ifs and all that and wait to hear from them.

Good luck!

melmacrn · Sep 20, 2013

That's good to hear. My husband is helping with the baby, which is what his argument was--I will be pumping so there will be breastmilk for him to give the baby. I just worry about my supply going down or getting too busy to pump. I've heard it's really hard to breastfeed while working three 12 hour overnight shifts, so that was my main concern. Maternity leave around here is 8 weeks. To be honest, I don't even think they wrote down my response, we were just being conversational at that point, but I'm still worried.

nurseprnRN, BSN, RN · Sep 20, 2013

That's good to hear. My husband is helping with the baby, which is what his argument was--I will be pumping so there will be breastmilk for him to give the baby. I just worry about my supply going down or getting too busy to pump. I've heard it's really hard to breastfeed while working three 12 hour overnight shifts, so that was my main concern. Maternity leave around here is 8 weeks. To be honest, I don't even think they wrote down my response, we were just being conversational at that point, but I'm still worried.

Your supply will be fine if you start pumping after your milk comes in three days postpartum. You will only get a few cc's at a time to start, but after your baby nurses, pump out anything s/he leaves behind-- there will always be some except on those frequency days when s/he has growth spurts and you feel like you are doing nothing but nursing q hour all day (if I recall correctly, this happens on Days 6, 9 and 15, so don't be surprised-- it doesn't mean you're not making enough milk. It just means you're not getting enough sleep for those days :) . It passes.)

Nursing only gets about 90% of breast contents. The last milk that comes out of a breast after that is called "hindmilk," and is higher in fats and proteins, just what you'd expect to want to tide over an extra-hungry baby with a growth spurt until more milk is made; it takes about a day of increased demand to crank up production. By pumping that hindmilk out after regular nursing, you're telling your breasts that you have a bigger baby, or maybe twins :) and they need to make more milk. They will rise to this challenge :). The La Leche people are a great help about all this. There are also lots of different pumps, electric, some manual, with different attachments. Try different ones to see which you like best. My daughter had an electric one in her office (she's a professor) and would "plug in" a few times a day and once at home at night and do both breasts at once; I had a manual one and did one at a time and it worked fine for me. We have pretty different breasts. Your let-down reflex does a lot of the work, too-- just think about that baby and the hormones have your nipples tingling and your shirt wet before you know it.

Your first 6 weeks are the most important for establishing milk flow and your proficiency-- and all of a sudden at about 6 weeks you realize that this breastfeeding thing has gotten really easy, and you're putting away a lot of milk in the freezer. Most employers now allow nursing mothers a space and time to pump-- I used to get a ton of milk during coffee and lunch breaks and put it in the freezer in the floor kitchen, well-labeled of course :), and drop it off at daycare for the next day. And working with nurses and mothers you get more understanding than if you worked with mostly male stockbrokers. :)

Good luck on getting the job!

melmacrn · Sep 20, 2013

I breastfed for three years with my last one (he was really hard to wean, lol), but I still learned a lot through your post in association with work and breastfeeding. I think right now I just have a lot of regret for not just saying "I'll take any shift you give me". I wish I wouldn't have even made the part time comment because now, even if I don't get the job based on my experience, I'll always have it in the back of my head that I didn't get the job because I messed up when asked the part/full time question.. I think I'm dwelling on it. Since I graduated, we've really be struggling financially. I just really want this job and I've been preparing and preparing to try and answer everything perfectly, so when I was told I ruined my chances and saw how mad the hubbie got--it made me take it really hard. I've applied for about 10 positions and this is the only one that has called me back, which was exciting since my overall goal was to work in the ER. Thank you for your replies (and good luck) :-)

thenursemandy · Sep 20, 2013

I don't think that your replies failed you. I think being pregnant could.

Why would they invest money and time in an employee that will need to take time off after only 3 months, and possibly decide not to return after having baby? I know its "not fair", but I wouldn't hire you over another non-pregnant new grad. It's not smart hiring practice.

Please don't let hubbies comments get into your head. You'll drive yourself crazy blaming yourself. You did your best and were honest. If they can see past your pregnancy, they wont hold the full time/part time issue against you. Good luck. I hope you get it. :)

melmacrn · Sep 20, 2013

It is definitely stressful walking into an interview pregnant. Especially when I'm 23 weeks and look like I'm 8 months, lol. They were really chatty about the pregnancy, mainly talking about how they take good care of their pregnant nurses. My preceptor in the ER (she was a reference) and one of the nurses at the interview knew I was pregnant when I was precepting, so I'm hoping they already knew about the baby when they called me for an interview.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Sep 21, 2013

It is definitely stressful walking into an interview pregnant. Especially when I'm 23 weeks and look like I'm 8 months, lol. They were really chatty about the pregnancy, mainly talking about how they take good care of their pregnant nurses. My preceptor in the ER (she was a reference) and one of the nurses at the interview knew I was pregnant when I was precepting, so I'm hoping they already knew about the baby when they called me for an interview.

This is different....they ALREADY KNEW you were pregnant and they still called you. If you are CLEARLY pregnant no sense pretending it isn't there...in this case your husband is over reacting.

They knew you were pregnant and they called anyhow...they spoke of your pregnancy on the interview they already know. If you do not ge tthis position it will be because you are a new grad and not your pregnancy (which is technically against the law... however we all know it makes a difference)

All emergency rooms have those lull times in the ED when it is......less busy. We never say the Q word for that instantly means you will immediately fill up. Always pump before the morning rush when everyone who went to bed sick decides they can't make it to work and saying you went to the ED sounds like you were really ill....or they need a note. Have a change of tops and hopefully you can ear dark colors.....on baby night every infant cry can cause let down and a little leakage....personal experience.

If the do 12 hour shifts you will be working 3 12's. If they hve the option of 8 hours shifts I found that easier with breast feeding. While the facility allows 8 weeks maternity leave remember as a new employee you will not have enough time accrued to be paid and technically won't qualify for FLMA. I know this is crazy to say in this day and age.....Try to save a little between now and then....((HUGS))

Congrats!!!! ON everything..!!!!

canesdukegirl, BSN, RN · Sep 21, 2013

Y'all-please correct me if I am wrong, but I thought that nursing mothers were required by law to be relieved q 4 to pump.

When interviewing, the panel looks at the candidate in a "10,000" foot view. They want to know that you will be up and running after orientation, and will be likely to contribute to the unit in six months to a year.

TrixieRN1 · Sep 22, 2013

OP: Despite working in a high-volume ER, my breastfeeding co-worker was diligent about taking her breast pump breaks. I'm sure you can find a way to make it work. Certainly hope your husband steps up to the plate and is more supportive of you as you're juggling a lot on your plate right now, i.e., job search while pregnant, stress of starting job as new grad, delivering/planning for care of your baby, etc. I think it would be more helpful if he'd build you up rather than tear you down - a little encouragement can go a long way. No sense in playing the game of, "If only I'd said this, done that, in the interview..." Best wishes to you on landing a job that's a great fit for you. I wish you smooth sailing throughout the remainder of your pregnancy and delivery.

sunmaidliz · Sep 23, 2013

As a new grad, why don't you start job hunting in about 6 or 7 months? Finish your pregnancy, take 12 weeks, and then go look for a job. Finishing a pregnancy AND learning a new job is stressful. Personally, I think it's a bad time to be pregnant in your career but then I'm a hypocrite - I did the exact same thing. Don't regret it one bit.

Esme12, ASN, BSN, RN · Sep 25, 2013

Y'all-please correct me if I am wrong, but I thought that nursing mothers were required by law to be relieved q 4 to pump.
When interviewing, the panel looks at the candidate in a "10,000" foot view. They want to know that you will be up and running after orientation, and will be likely to contribute to the unit in six months to a year.

Well these laws vary state. The federal mandated...

General Requirements
Employers are required to provide "reasonable break time for an employee to express breast milk for her nursing child for 1 year after the child's birth each time such employee has need to express the milk." Employers are also required to provide "a place, other than a bathroom, that is shielded from view and free from intrusion from coworkers and the public, which may be used by an employee to express breast milk."

Which doesn't supply a time frequency. Workplace Support in Federal Law

http://www.dol.gov/whd/regs/compliance/whdfs73.htm