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Discussion

Scary Classmate

So we have a classmate in our group that may or may not be in the best mental state to be in nursing school. He is chronically late, disappears during class for long periods of time and when assigned to group projects and team building activities doesn't participate or doesn't do his part just whatever he wants. Recently he bailed on a clinical activity to build teamwork which made his group have to figure out his part to complete the project so they could get full credit even though he had all of the necessary information. They are very upset with him and don't trust him. This week I had him assigned to 2 activities with me and I must agree he doesn't put much effort into the projects and the effort he did put in was off topic.

Last night this classmate called wanting to know why people in class are receptive to him, so I told him. "You are perceived as a flake and not interested in the program. You are chronically late, don't come to class daily and have an excuse for everything." He wanted to know how he could repair the situation with the other group who had turned him into the instructor and I told him he needed to appologize and take responsibilities for his actions but he also needed to come to class on time every day as well as remain in class.

I spoke with classmate about this phone conversation I had and they are worried for my safety as well as the safety of the other handful of people who aren't getting along with him. I am not sure how to approach this or if I should at this time. I know this person can't seem to see that regardless of the situation he is still responsible to show up and do his part because once he is a nurse he will need to be accountable to an even higher degree. We are in a special mid-semester program and start finals next week, so stress is hitting an all time high so it does seem to concern me more that I hear classmates are scared of this person and he only contacts me to get advice on how behave appropriately socially.

What is your take? Do I ignore or talk to our program advisor about this odd issue?

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    • Featured Replies

    I'd ignore it since it sounds likely that he won't be moving on to the next semester anyway.

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    Maybe you should bring your situation to your course facilitator. I'm sure (s)he can direct you on what you should do. You are in school to learn, not to feel intimidated. It's unacceptable for that to happen. Many colleges offer a security escort to your car, too, if you really feel that you need one.

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    • Guides

    I find the "concerned about your safety" comments frankly odd. Has he been violent? If not, that is unfounded and just laden with silly drama. It sounds to me like he wants to do better but struggles with motivation and the realities of what he has gotten himself into. Not at all excusable....not in the slightest.

    But not dangerous.

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    He may have skated through thus far with this type of behavior and not even realizing how negative it is on others around him and on him. It will catch up with him....sooner than he thinks.

    I agree that unless he has exhibited violent behavior, either physically or verbally, there is no basis to be afraid for your safety. If he has..it needs to be dealt with immediately.

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    i agree with gentylwind. i am not in this situation, nor do i know the specifics of yours. so, i won't say that it's an overreaction but maybe reading into his actions too much? i'm sure his poor collaborative efforts are annoying/stressful but they seem hardly dangerous. i wouldn't spend anymore time worrying over it.

    good luck with whatever you decide!

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    had and they are worried for my safety as well as the safety of the other handful of people who aren't getting along with him. I am not sure how to approach this or if I should at this time. I know this person can't seem to see that regardless of the situation he is still responsible to show up and do his part because once he is a nurse he will need to be accountable to an even higher degree. We are in a special mid-semester program and start finals next week, so stress is hitting an all time high so it does seem to concern me more that I hear classmates are scared of this person and he only contacts me to get advice on how behave appropriately socially.

    What is your take? Do I ignore or talk to our program advisor about this odd issue?

    I could not get the "safety" issue here...

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    • Author

    Thanks all. I couldn't see the safety issue either but when it was mentioned to me I thought maybe I am not seeing something. I think the guy is a little off socially and always working in crisis mode but I hadn't seen anything violent come from him. For now I will let it slide and hopefully he is able to improve his relationships with classsmates and catch on to the teamwork aspect.

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    Seems like it was blown out of porportion by your classmates for the sake of drama. Just do what you have to do to get through. I wouldn't go talking to anyone about fearing for your safety on something unfounded.

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