Sad night

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Specializes in Long-term Care.

I know that has a nurse you are techincally not suppose to have "favorite" residents. But tonight at 9:03 pm my favorite resident passed away. We'd been fighting a loosing battle with chronic renal failure and CHF. He BUN was up to 119 at one point in time. The doc had dc'd her spirolactone and zaroxlyn. But then she filled up with fluid. She gained 2lbs a day for the past week. We couldn't fix one b/c the other was so bad. I got an order for some IM lasix and foley yesterday, to at least try and get some of the fluid off of her. But it was just too little to late. She knew that she was passing and she was ok with it. SHe told me that she had made here peace with god and was ready to go be with her sister who had passed away 8 months ago. She had never been married and didn't have any children. The only family she really had was a sister who 97 and a neice and nephew. It broke my heart to call her neice who was her mpoa. She had been responsive up untill about an hour before she passed. I was with her when she went, held her hand has she took her last breath. After she was gone I had to leave the floor to compose myself. I didn't want the CNAs to see me breakdown. I did her post-mortem myself, not b/c I had to but b/c I wanted to do it for her. She was one the funniest, kindest ppl I ever had the privalege to know. I probably would have got a tongue lashing from her for being upset. She never wanted anyone to feel bad for her.

Sorry to be a downer, just wanted to get it off my chest. I know that she is in a better place know where there is no pain. And I know that she is more than ok with that.

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Specializes in ICU.

You are sad for you, not sad for her. No tongue-lashing warranted.

Sorry for your loss. :icon_hug:

:paw:

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How wonderful for her that she had someone who cared for her with her when she passed.

How wonderful for you that you had the chance to know and care for her. She sounds like she must have been a special lady.

It's okay to have "favorites" as long as care doesn't change - and I'm sure yours doesn't since you are professional and truly caring. It's human - we connect with other people in different ways for different reasons.

I'm sorry for your loss. She's in a better place now and with her sister.

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Specializes in Med/Surg/Pedi/Tele.

That is exactly why your good at your job. You have compassion for them and don't let it get to you.

Sorry for your loss and I hope you find peace with knowing you helped her so much.

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Specializes in LTC.

It's OK to cry. Really. I don't mean great wailing sobs, if I feel that coming on I do excuse myself. But there has been more than once I've cried with the family. We do care, and how can we not have a favorite? Some resident's are just so darned loveable we can't help it! Never forget we are human, too, and will feel our emotions just like anyone else. Give yourself a big hug, it's OK. I'm sorry for the loss of your friend.

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Specializes in Mother-Baby, Rehab, Hospice, Memory Care.

Thank you for sharing and thank you for the compassionate care you give :saint:

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Specializes in Community Health, Med-Surg, Home Health.

Sorry for your loss. Yes, we do have certain ones that reach our hearts more than others...we are human, also.

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Specializes in Mostly LTC, some acute and some ER,.

Well I have been in that boat before.

Some of those "favorites" I have had, are the people who keep me getting up in the morning. All of my patients deserve care, love, and compassion, but I will admit that there really are a few who stand out from the crowd.

What a wonderful thing you did for her. You were probably one of her favorite people too! You made sure she didn't die alone, and there is a lot to be said for being there with a friend until the end.

It is okay to cry. God knows all my CNA's have seen me cry at some point in time. It shows that you are human.

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