is rudeness a prereq.?

mattsmom81 · Dec 2, 2003

Your questions may be right on and your need to learn appreciated. Generally speaking, this may be your coworkers' way of saying that is enough right now. Kinda like when parents/adults ignore kids who are pestering them. Yeah, kinda passive aggressive I know, but nurses are experts in passive aggressive....comes with the territory.

Yes they could handle it differently, I know... and perhaps you feel they are being rude. Consider their day, their tolerance level, their fatigue....this may be where they're coming from.

I've worked with new nurses who tend to overwhelm us with questions in our already overwrought day. Usually I try to take them aside and say "Right now I'm very frazzled, can we get together later when I'm able to talk?" If it's an urgent question I refer to the charge nurse.

Perhaps they are the kind that do not LIKE to teach. In that case consider asking one of the nicer ones (if there is one) to become 'your very own' preceptor.

Good luck and hope it works out for you. School doesn't always prepare us for the people we will encounter in the real world.

Tweety, BSN, RN · Dec 2, 2003

Be the best you can be, that's going to be a full-time job. Don't worry about how others behave.

Yes, the rudeness of others sting. But you're going to encounter it every day, from nurses, doctors, managers, respiratory therapists, radiology techs, transports, nurse assistants. We are a stressed out rude bunch of people. But if the Walmart threads in the breakroom threads are any indication, I guess it's not just in the hospital. What I'm saying is you have to grow some thick skin while not becoming one of them.

Don't waste your time on people who ignore you. Leave them be and find your answers elsewhere. Don't be discouraged and continue to be a sponge asking questions.

SmilingBluEyes · Dec 2, 2003

Originally posted by 3rdShiftGuy
Be the best you can be, that's going to be a full-time job. Don't worry about how others behave. .

Don't waste your time on people who ignore you. Leave them be and find your answers elsewhere. Don't be discouraged and continue to be a sponge asking questions.

Tweety you said a mouthful.....good going.

luv-my-dal · Dec 3, 2003

Mattsmom, thank you for your suggestions, although I think you may have the wrong picture. "Pestering" = persistently annoying. All I am saying is that a little recognition that they are being spoken to for a suggestion on their patient, whom I also have to keep an eye on, would be greatly appreciated. Sometimes there never really is a "good" time for a NEW nurse to ask a "seasoned" nurse a question, as the day can be busy for the whole shift, as we all know. The questions I asked were regarding patient care needed right at that moment and couldn't wait, thus the "pestering". It takes no more time for a quick answer, than if she answered the bell herself... and it would save time for the next time the same situation arose....I wouldn't have to bother her.

I am sorry to hear that you feel this way about NEW nurses. I realize that people tend to forget that they were "new" at one time too. Without "pestering" and asking questions, I cannot become as experienced as you are now. I am realistic and also know that I will be learning for the rest of my life. If at any time I think I know it all and don't ask questions, there will be a problem. I appreciate your response.

3rdShiftGuy, SmilingBluEyes....thank you for your supportive response. I will be working on building a "thicker skin".

wildwood · Dec 4, 2003

Be assertive! It is rude to ignore anyone, even if you aren't able to talk right then. As a common courtesy, the least the other nurses could do if they are busy is acknowledge that they heard what you said.

Say something like, "Hey, I guess you didn't hear me (and smile sweetly) then proceed to tell them what you need.

I've been a nurse for 22 years, and I would never treat a new nurse that way. I DO still remember how it feels to be the new person. They should remember, at some point they may need YOUR help, and act accordingly!

Good luck and hang in there!

happystudent, RN · Dec 4, 2003

Originally posted by mattsmom81
Generally speaking, this may be your coworkers' way of saying that is enough right now. Kinda like when parents/adults ignore kids who are pestering them. Yeah, kinda passive aggressive I know, but nurses are experts in passive aggressive....comes with the territory.

I've worked with new nurses who tend to overwhelm us with questions in our already overwrought day.

Man! This is what I have to look forward too? Sheesh! I will be a new grad in 5 mos.............Guess I better start conditioning my SKIN Now...........

LUv my dal.....stay strong.....just remember how you feel now when you become a preceptor! There is nothing more frightening than needing support from your "seasoned" Rn's when they "passively aggressivly ignore you " because they are too frazzled (as mattsmom brought out) to answer your questions............so not cool........ :rolleyes:

ohbet · Dec 4, 2003

Yes,for those nurses who are unhappy with themselves,their jobs and their lives,rudeness is a prerequiste.

live4today, RN · Dec 4, 2003

((((((((((luv-my-dal)))))))))) Hang in there dal! :kiss

I always take time with students and new nurses when they need help. I never forget that I once was a new nurse or student myself. I love teaching those who seek out my expert advice whether it be nursing or otherwise. It is a honor for me to help those who look to me for help. :nurse:

If one nurse doesn't stop and help you, ask another one. Stay persistent, and do not become discouraged. One day you will be looked to for advice or suggestions by a nursing student or new grad. Afterall, it's how we all get good at what we do in life. :)

essy752002 · Dec 4, 2003

I DONT GET WHY NURSES ACT THAT WAY. A NEW NURSE IS ONE OF THE HAPPIEST MOMENTS FOR ME. THE QUICKER SHE GET ORIENTED THE LESS MY PATIENT LOAD WILL BE. JUST REMEMBER HOW THEY TREATED YOU AND DONT BE THE SAME WAY WHEN ITS YOUR TURN. GOOD LUCK

purplemania, BSN, RN · Dec 4, 2003

I come across this a lot. Sometimes the preceptor is tired and overworked, physically and mentally. Sometimes the preceptor is just plain mean (I want them OFF the preceptor list). Sometimes the orientee is pesky and asks stupid questions. Sometimes not. You cannot generalize. All you can do is all YOU can do. Think of it all as an experience, good and bad. At the very least, you are learning how NOT to do it.

luv-my-dal · Dec 5, 2003

Thank you for your replies. I do have to say that most are very helpful (I am being preceptored by a whole unit, not one person) and seem more than happy to help me.

There is no excuse for the clerk at the department store, who could be just as tired from her/his job or from family stressors, to treat the public or other staff that way....so why is it that we tend to defend the rudeness of nurses because they are "tired"?

....just something to ponder :)