Ruby's Marbles

Having been a nurse for almost thirty years, I remember the days when we had time to sit and interact with our patients. In today's world of JCAHO, HIPPA, PYXIS medication dispensing systems, computerized charting, and bottom lines, I fear that our patients lose out on those special moments of nurse/patient bonding.

In the early 90's I was working as a travel nurse in a small town in Wyoming in a 75-bed hospital that was just embarking on the world of computerized charting. I was frustrated as I was used to charting long-hand on paper...hmmmmm, those were the days. This particular system used a care plan-type system where we did our documentation to address every aspect of each patients plan of care.

I'm sure my frustration was showing when I entered ruby's room for the first time. She was one of those 80+-year-old, tiny little ladies who scarcely made a lump in the bed covers. She had old lady blue hair and lots of pink rouge on her cheeks. The skin on her hands was paper thin and covered with age spots. Her knuckles were large with arthritis, but she still managed to polish her nails, hot pink. She had come in to have her esophagus dilated as she was having difficulty swallowing. She was a "frequent flyer" to this particular hospital and knew her way around medical terminology and was in touch with her body.

She asked me if I had time to sit with her for a few minutes. Sure, I thought, why not? I'm only two hours behind on my charting. I did, however, sit down and we got acquainted. Getting to know Ruby that day made an impact on my life that I have never regretted.

The next time Ruby came in, I made sure I was her nurse and was anxious to continue our bonding. This time, however, she came in with a T.I.A. She recognized me but was unable to verbalize what she was trying to tell me. So when I could break away from the computer I made sure to just go and sit with her and hold her hand, and even read her some articles from the newspaper.

The next day when I came in she had regained her speech but I could tell that she was frustrated as things weren't back to normal for her and she was trying to piece every sentence together before she spoke.

"Well, I feel like I've lost my marbles," she muttered. A tear slipped from the corner of her eye and slid down her cheek.

I gave her a hug and sat a few minutes holding her hand.

The next day on my way to work, I stopped at a discount store and bought a small mesh bag of marbles. When I got to work she was asleep in her room and I sat the marbles on her over-bed table and stepped out of the room.

Later that afternoon I stepped into her doorway and found her awake and smiling from ear to ear.

"Look," she exclaimed. "I've found my marbles."

I walked over and gave her a hug and we both had tears in our eyes.

"That's wonderful," I said. "I wonder where they were."

From that day forward we were true friends. We actually wrote to each other for several years. We shared the death of her grandchild, the divorce of her daughter, and some things from my life, both good and bad. We were close friends. She never failed to mention her marbles, and how my gesture had helped in her healing process. In one letter she said that she had examined her marbles and they were all round.

When I didn't hear from her for a few months, I called her house and her husband told me she had died. He told me how much she had enjoyed my letters and cards; that her face would light up when he gave her a letter from me. I had always been happy to hear from her as well.

I know that the new era of nursing has made things more "professional," more protective of hospitals and staff should a lawsuit arise, more sophisticated. But I see nurses today spending hours behind a computer, frustrated at PYXIS machines as they spend so much time trying to access medications for their patients, having to call pharmacy or the House Supervisor to get drugs that could have been taken from a drawer in a fraction of the time it takes to get it from the machine. Nurses now sit behind a computer hours after their shift is over trying to catch up...tired and emotionally drained, sometimes not having had lunch or a bathroom break. We are asked to do twice the work in the same amount of time and with the same patient load.

Routinely, I see patients complain that they haven't seen their nurse for hours, that their medications are late, that nobody seems to care or have time to explain procedures to them. They feel like a number, lost in the "system."

When will the madness end? Patient in-hospital stays keep getting shorter and shorter. Nursing today is like fast food; next people will drive up to a computer, punch in their "complaint," get a vacuum sealed pill, insert a credit card, and drive away without ever seeing a nurse. It saddens me to think that the "Rubys" in the world no longer get the special attention they need and deserve.

Patients should get the TLC they need to hasten the healing process. I urge you as nurses to take a few minutes with your patients on a personal level. Hold a hand. Cry with a patient. Laugh with a patient. Go out and help Ruby find her marbles. You and your patients will be glad for it.

THE END

That's why I left too!! Now I am a school nurse witrh special needs kidsd and I get hugs every day!!!!
Lucky you...and I'm sure that they appreciate you!
Not knocking timeliness or time managment, but while working a small ccu a very good nurse told me that pt care is paramount. charting can wait.

What a great manager...actually stressing care over "make sure they are happy" You know those Press Gainey's!

Specializes in None yet.

I am beginning LVN program in S. California in November and won't graduate for a lonnnnnnnng while. I know it isn't going to get better as far as the time constraints and such, but I hope to be one of the nurses that can make time for their patients. I am starting late... I am 51 years old and have already retired once. Maybe homecare would be my balliwack... well we shall see.:loveya:

Good luck to you...it won't be easy like you said. Home care may just be for you

I couldn't agree more!

Specializes in Ortho/Peds/MedSURG/LTC.

Reminds me of my 92 year old this week with a hip fracture. She joked and kidded with me and within one hour of her admittance I was telling her "I love you so and wish all patients had your quick wit!!" She was 75 lbs of bones, looking for a man. I asked if she needed to see the clergy she replied "only if he's rich and single" I told her that her ortho doc was a looker..but married..she replied "I hate that"..I asked "hate what" she replied "sneeking in the back door"..she later asked the doc prior to surgery "will the surgical incision effect my bikini season??" he laughed and tears filled his eyes..she told me "better to have laughter always..it's the best medicine!!" " I could be crying but that won't help me at the moment"....one of the younger nurses heard me saying.."ohhh I just love her and hope surgery goes extremely well with a tiny bikini insicion"...as she gave me "the look"...I thought crabby patty you would not understand "what joy it is to see the fruits of the spirit alive and kicking in an old chicken."

Specializes in OR/DR Nursing.

WONDERFUL!!!!This should be emphasized to our new breed of colleagues. Sometimes some of us get calloused by years of experience. We should not forget the caring part of nursing. I cried when I read your article because I remembered my father who had wonderful ICU nurses back home in the Philippines before he died.

Wherever we work as nurses, let us not forget that all patients- irregardless of race, culture, religion, undergo the same emotions as all human beings. A touch, a moment spent with a patient can make a difference!

What a lovely story! Thank you for sharing.

Specializes in Intensive Care, Operating Room, Leadersh.

thank you for helping us all stays in touch with why we are nurses.

i have been nursing for the past 30 years. my background is the icu and as a surgical nurse. i have worked as a staff nurse and as a manager. the most gratifying nursing time of my career has been at the bedside. about 10 years ago i suffered a back injury and begin a trail that has led me to informatics nursing. in order, to stay connected to my passion, i supervise in a local nursing home/rehab facility on the weekends. this serves a dual purpose of close patient contact and hopefully impacting future nurses via my mentoring of the nursing aides.

as an informatics nurse i am employed by a large community not-for-profit hosptial as a clinical nurse liaison. i hope to positively impact the decisions that are made by the it department when selecting technology products that directly affect the clinical workflow.

with this being said, i joined this group to solicit feedback from you, the nurses that are working in the trenches. i am on a committee that is tasked with providing computer solutions for our nurses that are reliable, assessable, and meet their mobility needs.

we are meeting with our nurses but sometimes what you ask for is not what you really want. we found that out when we deployed lots of desktop computers, computers at the bedside and in the hallways. we still get complaints that computers are not available where they need them. the wow/cow is too big and loose connectivity.

i feel that we are capable of providing a solution that will allow the nurse to spend time at the bedside and meet the requirements that are imposed by the legal and regulatory commissions. we just need to get the nurses at the bedside to help the techies understand what they need and want.

if you have experience with these issues, if you have a solution that works or one that did not work please consider sharing via this venue.

your feedback will be valuable for all of us that are trying to preserve the nurse that touches the patient.

Specializes in med surg.

That is a wonderful story and reminds me why I am a nurse. Hope this story makes you feel good. We have an inpatient dialysis room on the unit I work on. We had a freq flyer *Steve* When Steve first started coming he had two legs, one eye, and was a non complient diabetic. As the store goes, he ended up with gangrene lost a leg and ended up on dialysis. One year he happend to be on our unit and it was his birthday. I asked him "if I could get you any one meal on your birthday what would it be?" He said "steak, a potato, and a slice of birthday cake." I gave the request to my nurse manager and she made sure it happend. We sang him happy birthday and gave him his meal. He ended up going to an ECF later that week but returned later. He was hallucinating and not doing well. He ended up dying. Prior to his death one of our NP's said she had a dream about him. In her dream he could see with both eyes, walk on two legs and was happy. In the dream she said "Steve you look wonderful, what happend?" He said to her "Marcy* it's ok I'm all better know." Later that day she found out he died. I truely believed she touched his life and he came to her in her dream.

*names changed to protect pt privacy*