Robin Williams RIP: Coping Mechanism?

Fuzzy · Aug 24, 2014

Ethicsrn4life: I too am a single person living on my own. I also live in an area where there is a lot of stigma. The state that I live in has been in the top five of suicides for the last twenty years. It is currently number two. In the past it has been number one. I have experienced discrimination and stigma big time. I have worked for several wonderful employers in the past. My current employer has been very reasonable. So I guess that I'm lucky in that regard.

I know that it's hard to stand up for ourselves. Even withoui MI, it is difficult for us to stand up for ourselves. We want to keep our troubles and illness in the closet. Coming out about MI has to be a choice that an individual has to make for themselves. You do not have to stand out on a street corner and declare that you have MI (in fact this is so not a good idea) , you can help behind the scenes.

I started out by being a self advocate. Self Advocacy helped me to build positive coping skills. Plus it taught me about the warning signs and what things I needed to be done before I crashed and burned. I've crash and burned bad enough to be involunarily committed. The most difficult time that I have with self advocacy is asking for help. Thankfully the therapist that I see, is someone I really trust as far as asking for help is concerned.

Currently, I sit on the state's Protection and Advocacy Mental Health Advisory Council. This has given me an education about how the discrimination laws work and what steps can be taken should someone be discriminated against. I've brought this information back to my peers that have issues with MI. I have done some things for NAMI over the years also.

I'm very thankful that I have a good support system that includes family, friends, co-workers, doctor and therapist. I wish that I could say that this journey is easy but it isn't. I have to say that for me, things have gotten better since I have refused to hide. Remember if we want change, we need to be the first ones to fight for that change. The fight does not have to be public, but it does need to be a fight.

Fuzzy

Ethicsrn4life · Aug 24, 2014

Fuzzy the probleM is that you are making a lot of assumptions. I think it is great that you have things going on thst makes you feel empowered.

Please dont assert to know anything about me other thn the limited info. Again you have no idea of who i am what i look like and the isdues i have been involved in.

Again it is a very individualized decision and i would NEVER advoate someone expose themselves to more painful situations or.even greater harm. Continue to wave your own banner, but dont imply that you have a fix it plan people an society is much more complicated than you think.

I have never waved anything publicly for the world to see....i mentioned how damning it can be even in our on intimate circles and that people have to eeigh risks. Good that you appear to be the only coutageous person who is or has fought for reform. I did not know i needed to post my resume'.

I will say that it is professionally unsound and personally immature that people dealing with emotion s l or psych isus to just come with in. I do think thete is a middle ground but you certainly are not there.

Those assume so much just bc your experience has been good for you..

You see i dont see myself as an illness or with pathology.....that is part of the THING that those you purport advocating do not want to be identified with and i am on that wagon.

I dont know you are your ecperience, but i have enough eperience to know that it is v r ry dangerous telling people wht to do or to imply thy are being victims bc their paths are different trom grom yours. And i have enough experience and epertise in the field of mh when someone does not get things on blind posts.

Coninurd success wih your illness and whatever inroads you make in the mh field.

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Aug 24, 2014

Everyone's experience of MI and its relationship to the world they live in is different, and we all should accept that. If we don't accept and validate each other's experiences, we're no better than the rest of the world which doesn't understand us and doesn't care to. Let's not fight among ourselves or tear each other down.

Personally, I have not had good experiences with coming out at work. The first time, I didn't really have a choice because I had a manic episode that I couldn't hide, but it ended badly when I asked for accommodations. That was when I learned the Americans with Disabilities Act is basically toothless when you work for an employer that has a bank of lawyers ready to tear the ADA to shreds. The second time I came out, my very part-time hours were reduced to next to nothing. I had no recourse. So I have had to go back under cover as far as anything to do with employment (I'm currently looking for work), change my Facebook user name, and don't talk about my illness except to those who know I have it.

But that's just me. Some people can come out and not be looked down upon for it. I've been very fortunate that I'm accepted by so many both here and IRL. I'm very open here and in my blog, and I try to help others when I can. I hope someday that our society will learn to treat those with broken brains at least as compassionately as it does those with broken bones.

Ethicsrn4life · Aug 24, 2014

Thank you Viva it has refocused that our energies should not be struggling with one another. I am exceptionally sensitive when i feel not heard or misinterpreted i have seen so much damage to others as a result of being who they are rather who jobs family etc want people to believe.

Although i am not a saint i as another person sharing space on this planet with so many people hurting in so many ways, i truly believe in the inherent worth and dignity of every human being. Not bc I have to but bc i choose to. And i would not like to contribute in any way to someone else's pain. So i apologize to anyone that i have offended.

As we know it is very difficult to navigat through life unscathed when you are struggling with mh issues,but i do know it is possible. Safety has to be primary whether we are talking about disclosing in critical situations like jobs or have the misfortune of having our sxs precede our decision to disclose.

Viva you are right on about the ADA being toothless, rspecially if you live in a place and work for a company that doesn't give a damn. Those that oppose legislation like the ADA use the old argument. "Don't want the government telling me what to do'. My response to that is why would you do it on your own it you as a company felt that you believe in the inherent.worth of each person and believed they had a right to be educated trained have access to pursuing a living. And if you believe that why would that legislation bother you when there are places who would and are discriminating against workers with health issues?

Their arguments have never been congruent policies or company culture.

I too had the experience of disclosing that i eas struggling with depresionbut they only worked with me when it was tied to an event, like death of a loved one.

Until we can mobilize more effectively as this is a societal issue, bave legislation that is ironclad protected, and can be effectively challenged Mh isurs are not necessarily an acceptable illness.

We know as professionals that it is treated like a character issue, moral issue, an issue of weakness and that is not going to change ovr night. There as to be a monumental shift in the consciousness of this society and culture.

Yes we have to take steps and i have stated in more than one post.....it first begins with the professionals the intimate circle of mh personnel.

How many times have you heard colleagues or even ourselves refer to pts or ourselves as "crazy" ?

I have when younger not truly understanding how that contributes to our underlying belief system that someone is broken or i am broken if i experience the agony of a mh condition. And how alienating and really cruel those statements are .

So Viva i hear you, and have similar negative experiences.and have also xontributed to perpetuating these negative sterotypes.

My mom had a statement that i try to live by."when you know BETTER you ought to do better". And this is what i know:

People from all walks a life can have a mh isue or no someone close to them, and it takes US ALL to have compassion and understanding about their,our struggles.....if we are willing we are the advocates and it comes in difftent forms. From joing a group that advocates to asking someone to not joke about issues like that. All of it is important . Being present for someone they dont need you to fix, bc you can't,. Being able to empathize, we can even do it with complete strangers bc the pain is not always in our sxsx, the pain is often feeling disconnected or that you are a burden. Not avoiding bc we are uncomfortable. ....there is a lot that we can do. ......EDUCATE, EDUCATE, AND EDUCATE. Have in be in everyday talk.

I believe one reason that the LGBT mobement has continud to evolve and grt stronger bc members decided that they were going to keep pushing, that they would not be thrown a bone and settle, and i think other movements thought that they had arrived and fizzled out and e see how that is working. Things have been overturned for example the inequality of pay btwn men and women,racial inequality (please dont say, but we have an African American president, thrtefore that means inequality has gone away) the loss of tproductive choices, education inequality, or the right to work as a skilled laborer....whete are those jobs?

My point is i think the LGBT community learned from these movements and decided that they would be in this fight for the longhaul, and would not relinguish til they could be treated as full citizens in every aspect of being a citizen and human being.

I think profesdionals and people who suffer from mh isdues will have to come out with tht same intensity and vigor for the longhaul.

And as we see a change in consciousness.of how people are treated, the fight must continue to make sure no gains are lost and further gains continue. This is my opinion derived from history, my experience as a psych nurse and counselor, as well as my experience of someone who has lived with depression most of my life.

Fuzzy · Aug 24, 2014

From Ethicrn4life: "My point is i think the LGBT community learned from these movements and decided that they would be in this fight for the longhaul, and would not relinguish til they could be treated as full citizens in every aspect of being a citizen and human being.

I think profesdionals and people who suffer from mh isdues will have to come out with tht same intensity and vigor for the longhaul.

And as we see a change in consciousness.of how people are treated, the fight must continue to make sure no gains are lost and further gains continue. This is my opinion derived from history, my experience as a psych nurse and counselor, as well as my experience of someone who has lived with depression most of my life."

YES! YES! YES! This is why I used them as an example. If we want to change the stigma, we must be the first ones to make the change. This needs to be done one place and one person at a time. That means coming out of the closet. People need to start putting a face with the illness. That's how the ALS movement started. Pete Frakes of Boston has started the craze http://espn.go.com/boston/story/_/id/11366772/in-als-fight-pete-frates-message-loud-clear-ice-bucket-challenge Before this ice bucket craze I had no idea who Pete Frakes was. I have not had a personal experience with anyone with ALS. I know many more people that are being treated for MI. I've also experienced the suicides of many friends. Last night there was a suicide attempt (suicide by cop) about 6 blocks from me. I'm not sure if the guy made it or not. The story made the headlines of the local paper in this little town of 9000. Unfortunately this is a negative way to get our point across.

Fuzzy

AshleyJeanRN · Aug 28, 2014

I'm a brand new psych nurse so I don't claim to know everything, but from what I've experienced at work and from previous experience, some of the most outgoing, seemingly happy people are very good at hiding their severe depression from others. To give a personal example, I consider myself to be a pretty shy/awkward person around new people outside of patient/nurse relationships, but I have a tendency to try and hide it by cracking jokes and acting super outgoing. Obviously that isn't as extreme as hiding major depression and suicidal ideation, but it's at least along those same lines. A lot of times I think people with depression dislike that part of themselves and think that their peers won't accept them unless they put on a happy face so they become the complete opposite around most people. This article comes from a humor site, but it actually gives some great insight into this topic as it's written by a funny person who also suffers from depression Robin Williams and Why Funny People Kill Themselves | Cracked.com

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · Aug 28, 2014

Yes, yes, and YES! People with depression and suicidal ideation know very well how to put on a happy face in public. We do so, in a sense, as a survival skill---we know our true feelings aren't acceptable, and to keep our jobs and our place in society we must cover up those feelings. So we laugh and make jokes, or at the very least paste wide, phony smiles on our faces while pretending the pain doesn't exist.

But we can only do that for so long before something breaks inside. That's why everyone is shocked when a person they thought of as happy-go-lucky has a meltdown or kills him/herself. I know I was surprised by Robin Williams' suicide, even though his problems with addiction and depression were well-known. I think it hit me harder than most celebrity deaths because he was one of us. Despite his fame, he was an unpretentious Everyman who just happened to be brilliant, funny, and mentally ill.

Sad to say, his death is all too easy for me to understand because I know about that kind of desperation, when even knowing you're loved by many isn't enough because you can't love yourself.

Ethicsrn4life · Aug 28, 2014

Robin Williams made it public what he was dealing with. Healthcare personnel that he had access know that people use different ways to cope.

When i first became a psych nurse we prided ourselves on including support systems in tx. We educated people about the roller coaster ride that goes along with treating mh conditions( i use conditions personally to help decrease the stigma attached when we referr to mental illness bc of what it conjures up) and of course a lot of folks are dealing with things and they dont have labels. But people that are upfront with their conditions is a gift to providers or support systems bc it is like a stop sign(the potential of suicide or other self harm is ALWAYS there regardless if they speak about it.

Good education is imperative that looks can be deceiving. And most times those suffering want someone to address their pain. I have found mh profes sionals afraid to approach the subject bc they are uncomfortable with the answers, or fear feeling helpless (WE CAN NOT RISK NOT ADDRESSING THINGS BC WE ARE UNCOMFORTABLE) .

If we can remember that we don't have the power to fix, but we have the power to be fully present. It is no guarantee, but t s an opportunity to help people weather the storm and arm them with tools and education that the storm will come again and we can get through. The problem with mh conditions I think is unrealistic expectations. Some conditions are acute and can be resolved others are chronic and transitory. We have to help people and their support systems understand this and provide a safety net.

Anyone dealing with mh issues needs crisis planinng and it needs to be out there for the support systems to know.

Good luck on your journey as a psych nurse. If you facility short changes you in the ducation dept bc most plces have gone to just a crisis model, no precetorship and extended care no longer exist unless it is s facility for those with unlimited financial resources.

I would encorage you to provide youself with opportunities ie seminars, ceu classes any other resources to truly understand conditions treatment cultural aspects if you feel this is an area that you want to be.

Please dont feel offended when i describe nw age nursing as running to escape the perils of med-surg nursing bc people deserve providers to take the area sriously. This trend has been there for th last 10-15yrs when insurance changed bc of long stays ,pts were more ill, doctors became hospitalists and so on. So nurses ran to psych to gt a reprieve thinking it was very esy, s ll you had to do eas talk. Thy had no skills bc hospitals decided that they coul f cut education drastically and do aeay with millieu theapy and reatment modalities, and it became a nightmare for pts and d support systems.

I left psych when this occurred bc i eas trained under a different model and sa the devastation of pts not getting needs met. I changed to counseling and education bc i could still practice to meet people's needs ather than continue to practice in broken systems that there was no desire to fix.

puravidaLV · Sep 11, 2014

sorry but some people you won't save. When its all based on the subjective and little of the objective its easy enough to fake an assessment just to get out and complete. Even a well knowledge sociopath can beat testing.

smmctowelie69 · Sep 11, 2014

I have seen many people struggle with mh issues schizophrenic, bipolar, and multiple personalities. I am blessed and thank god every day for not having these illnesses. I may have some anxiety but have learned to cope with it to a degree.

allnurses Guide · Sep 11, 2014

Robin Williams has been battling demons for many years. He has a very public ongoing battle with cocaine and alcohol. some do use comedy as a way to cope, it really isn't difficult to understand why. I can see how people with depression (or other MH disorders) turn to comedy because they are uncomfortable with themselves. And many "class clowns" are looking for a way to fit in, be liked or to stop the teasing/bullying. I think they see it as 'if I can make one other person happy/smile/ laugh maybe I can feel that way too'

There has been a recent backlash against using the word "demon" or "demons" to describe mental illness and I agree. I can't find the original article but googled "Robin Williams and demon" and came up with many links. I'll add one here.

Robin Williams battled diseases, not demons: Regina Brett | cleveland.com

How do we stop it? We can stop demonizing mental illness, alcoholism and drug addiction. We can start by taking the shame and secrecy out of suicide.

I do not think comedians are more prone to mental illness, especially depression. It runs the gamut of all kinds of folks. It just seems out of character for someone who is funny and always seems pretty darn happy to be depressed. It is shocking when we know so little of their true life to then wake up and read that they have killed themselves.

Lots of people have mental illness; lots of people kill themselves (see above link for some stats). I bet if you did a research project on each person in America who killed themselves last year, a minority would be comedians.

he had bipolar disorder

This has bothered me since the beginning - we do not know this. Even in the interview people keep referencing Robin did not say he had Bipolar Disorder.

His family has denied it.

We are medical professionals and no matter what our private thoughts may be, we shouldn't pass on information unless we know for sure and so far, I don't think his physician is a member of allnurse.

JustBeachyNurse, LPN · Sep 11, 2014

It was about 20 years ago that I saw an article discussing Robin Williams as bipolar perhaps he was misdiagnosed or the diagnosis was presumed because of his stage personality?