RN Position: Is it time to let go?

[ScrubADub12]

Hi,

My situation seems pretty easy to figure out but is more complicated I feel. I'll start from the beginning...

Out of nursing school I began working for a hospital I have been with for a while, I have held other position prior to becoming an RN. Anyway I felt it was time to let go and seek another position somewhere else, I got a job but fired from that position (Oh Well!). I still remained with my prior position on per diem basis. After a few months I got a job with a IT company YAY! My dream job, I love it and I work with my two passions Nursing and Technology.

I still work for per diem position at the hospital in addition to my full-time job. Now here it my dilemma, is it time to let my per diem position go?

I notice anytime I have to work at the hospital, I literally feel anxiety the day before. I always hated the bed side, but I remember the saying you need to walk before you can run. I want to keep my clinical skills up. I don't feel like myself when I am there anymore, but I trying to stay with it as long as possible. It could be my devotion to the company that I can't let go or the extra money it brings in, but I don't feel I am benefiting myself anytime I am there. I am out of sorts when I work and I am physically and emotionally exhausted the next day (which has affected my full-time position). This has even taken a toll on my personal relationships . I know this probably sounds like a simple solution but I am extremely distraught over it. I have had the opporunity to sit down with my manager and cut back my hours at the hsopital, but it still hasn't helped. Have I been out of Bedside Nursing too long and is it beneficial to keep going?

Could definitely use some advice? What do you think?

[OCRN3]

I have had the same problem but opposite, got a job out of bedside, then feel anxious about new job out of bedside, quit, go back to bedside and then feel guilty about it. I wish I could take my own advice but so many ppl tell me bedside is where you have to be. Bedside is the safest place with the most flexibility. In my opinion moving up is getting out of bedside. If your comfortable away from bedside cut if off with a clean cut. Having it as a per diem will confuse you, that's what made me come back. Best of luck!

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[sistasoul]

I would leave. I think you have answered your own question in your post. I would love to get away from the bedside. Too much anxiety and responsibility.

[nurseprnRN, BSN, RN]

You'll always be a nurse if you are doing nursing-related work. I haven't worked bedside for years but I use my nursing knowledge and assessment skills every day. (Well, not today. I'm playing hooky today. :) )

Think of your dream job as the different kind of nursing it is, no less valuable and no less a validation of your education and experience. Feel free to cut yourself loose from something you don't like and that makes you feel bad.

[HouTx, BSN, MSN, EdD]

All of us that work in non patient care areas have experienced the same thing. My take? It's part of the natural grieving process. Patient care was our primary motivation for becoming a nurse in the first place. That's what provided all of our rewards and sense of accomplishment. When we move into a job that doesn't provide this, we are losing something that has been very important for us... we experience "loss". I went into a major funk when I became unable to continue to work sufficient bedside hours.

Making that decision is not easy, but probably very necessary for your career growth.