resume & cover letter-- awful or awesome?

[ktliz]

I'm super impatient to start applying for jobs, but first I want opinions on my resume & cover letter. I attached my resume as a word doc, and here is my cover letter. What do you think?

Dear Hiring Professional:

I am writing to express my interest in the position of graduate nurse at MyTown Hospital. As a student, I have had clinical rotations at MyTown (5C), and OtherBranch (MICU/SICU). From my experience and speaking to current employees at MTH, I feel that I would be a good fit for the graduate nurse program in critical care.

The MTH tagline, "blahblah PASSION blahblah" further affirmed my desire to be part of this organization. My passion for providing the best patient care possible has driven me to excel academically in the accelerated BSN program at My University. During the program, I discovered my passion for critical care. As a graduate nurse in critical care, I will build on my solid knowledge base and superb critical thinking skills while also furthering my technical ability.

Aside from my passion and abilities as a nurse, I will bring the following previous education and experience to my career at MTH.

- BS in Psychology from the University of Georgia, providing a better understanding of patients, coworkers, and myself

- Customer service skills developed as a restaurant server

- Communication skills utilized when speaking to thousands of diverse pedestrians in Center City, Philadelphia, as a canvasser for Greenpeace

- Flexibility, creativity and patience necessary as a day care teacher

I believe my education, experience and personal characteristics make me an ideal candidate for the graduate nurse program at MyTown Hospital. I will be graduating on September 1, 2012, and plan to take the NCLEX - RN for Pennsylvania licensure in early to mid-September. Please see my attached resume, and feel free to contact me with any questions at [phone] or [email protected]. Thank you for your consideration

Sincerely,

Me

allnurses RN resume.docx

[SurrenderDorothy]

In my opinion - Awesome!

[el Jefe]

Replace "I am writing to express my interest in the position of graduate nurse at MyTown Hospital"

with...

Please consider me for the position of graduate nurse at ..... (more direct, we all know you are writing and interested)

Replace "From my experience and speaking to current employees at MTH, I feel that I would be a good fit for the graduate nurse program in critical care."

After acquainting myself with the staff and orienting to the MTH facilities during clinicals, I feel that I would be a good fit for the graduate nurse program in critical care. (the previous sentence doesn't flow well)

If you want to pick up some more skills in business writing, check out the pyramid style. I felt that it has helped me get my message across more clearly.

Good luck with your job search!

[ktliz]

After acquainting myself with the staff and orienting to the MTH facilities during clinicals, I feel that I would be a good fit for the graduate nurse program in critical care. (the previous sentence doesn't flow well)

Thanks for this suggestion... I had shortened the original sentence and it definitely wasn't working!

[tyvin, BSN, RN]

Your cover letter reads like a resume. People who are looking at these cover letters and resumes don't want repetition. Leave all your clinical and other experience for the resume page and use the cover letter to let them know which job you're interested in, why you[re interested in it and a little bit about you. Being to the point and being able to communicate effectively is what you should convey in your cover letter.

Also leave out "I feel"...don't you know? Show them you know what you want by your words. The cover letter is where you put buzzwords like team leader, team player etc... When stating which positions you're applying for use the actual title that they use.

I liked your first sentence but the rest of the paragraph belongs in the resume. The second paragraph is nice. Rewrite it, chop it and put in some current buzzwords. They will find out your experience when they read the resume. The first paragraph should tell them which program/job you're applying/interested in. The second is a little buzz about you and the third wraps it all up.

Paragraphs can be short...2 sentences is OK as long as you convey it all professionally. That last paragraph belongs in the resume and everything under it should be in the resume.

Look up the current position you are applying for and beef up the cover letter and/or resume with current buzzwords related to the situation. 3 short paragraphs...remember you need to make an impression with a smart short cover letter, not bore them with stuff you will only repeat on the resume.

Do a search and type in resume, current buzzwords...you will get some good stuff.

Remember; schooling, clinical, license, certs, awards, clubs, orgs etc..., and job history all belong in the resume.

[tyvin, BSN, RN]

FYI...Break Free From Resume Buzzwords - Camp Pendleton, CA Patch

[tyvin, BSN, RN]

I also am learning more about beefing up cover letters and resumes (it's different from 20 years ago)...I found the preceeding link extremely helpful. Along with everything else any software you are familiar with or have worked with is also good to let them know. The new buzzwords for resumes are not the old usual ones but ones that denote personal experience.

I'm still one that likes the term team player even though some current trends toward resume building discourage the word. One must be creative and take the old buzzwords and make new ones that are related to their own personality.

It still stands to read the current verbage that goes along with the position or company you are interested in working for and include them in your cover letters and resume.

[Aongroup1990, CNA]

ok i will send u a link of an outstanding resume and cover letter. just private message me. this needs alot of work. just being honest with you....