Respect?

[trimm]

This is going to be more of an essay than a posting. It is a subject that I feel strongly about and something I struggle to understand. The way we treat each other in the nursing/health care profession.

I have read postings on this site with a similar theme, but I want to give my personal experiences and try to relate my point.

I have been in health care for about 15 years now. Started off working as a non-licensed worker at a home for the mentally retarded. My training consisted of passing 15 questions on a medication quiz and off I went. I worked with people who were basically unskilled workers who for the most part had a good heart and were trying to earn a living. I try to think that most people are good and try to treat each other with respect. Then there was my supervisor.

I don't want to get into a long story here, but I was new to this kind of work and didn't feel comfortable reporting her when she gave cold showers to a resident who would not comply with her or washed his mouth with soap when he was not behaving. This was the first abuse I ever witnessed.

Eventually, I quit and she moved on and I am sure she is out there somewhere abusing those who she is supposed to be helping. I am wiser now, I would handle it differently if it happened again.

Later on I worked at a state owned home for the same type of clients. I witnessed an aid spray cologne in a resident's mouth for stealing her pop. I turned her in, it was my word against hers and she won. Her friends turned against me and made my life pure Hell.

So what is my point so far? People can treat each other so poorly for no reason. We all learned this in Kindergarten so why does it surprise me? Because we are all supposed to grow up and act like adults. But we don't, that's because there is no such thing as "acting like adults" it is a pure fantasy made up to create a pseudocivilized state in which decent people live.

There is a reason why we are a nation of laws, and why we have law enforcement. People can do the wrong thing and be very bad very quickly. Why? I have no idea. I suppose I have done wrong in the past, my motivation was probably for personal gain or to make my self feel better about myself.

I continue on to my nursing career. The place where human compassion is supposed to be at its peak. We are caring health care providers you know. I say that sarcastically because I feel that some of the worst people I have ever met have worn nursing uniforms.

I have never seen another nurse abuse a patient, but I have seen nurses turn on each other, get into verbal fights and try to get each other fired. All for what? It's because we are all children that never grew up. I have seen a Director of Nursing who fired 3 nurses because she was intimidated by them and had no self-esteem. She used her power to harm people who were good people and hard workers. I have seen an administrator berate her staff in front of other staff and say hurtful and harmful things. I watched two aids battle it out in the dining room; I have refereed fights in resident's rooms.

I know nursing is a stressful career, but this is ridiculous. I don't know of any other profession I have ever worked at where this has occurred.

I worked home health and heard of families constantly complaining about the nurses for petty things, getting them in trouble when they should be grateful someone came to their assistance in the first place. It is too easy to pick up the phone and ruin the career of someone who is trying there hardest to do the right thing when the family can guide the nurse the way they want.

The older I get, the more I believe in evil. I think there is a segment of the population who can do harm without regret and create workplace environments that are next to impossible to work in.

I am sure there are many stories far worse than mine out there that I haven't even tapped into. Please, somebody explain to me the human nature than makes us eat each other and spit each other out. I get so sick of the back room discussions, the snide remarks and the way we treat each other.

You know that saying, "don't go to the boss, and go to me first." Those people go to the boss to get results they want. They want you gone; they don't want to resolve any issues. It's more fun to rid you of them then start over. And that is a sad commentary as well. It is a workplace game that affects families as well as careers. When you open your mouth and speak poorly of a coworker, you are causing them far more damage than you can imagine.

So, if you are one of those people who have to cause controversy, can't keep your mouth shut, and are basically evil in nature, do us all a favor and get a job as a landing strip painter or cactus weeder in the desert because we don't need your kind. Problem is, most of us are this person.

I start RN school in August, I know nursing is the career for me, as I have been an LPN for the last 8. I have never had a problem with a resident, or patient and I know I am doing the kind of work that is the most rewarding. Now if I can get the people who do the same job I do to treat each other like the patients do, it would be fantastic and a miracle. Most of the people I work with say they do it for the patients, I have never heard anyone say they did it for the way they were treated at their jobs.

RN school for me is a new beginning. When I graduate, I will see none of this again. That is my dream. Please treat each other with the same dignity and respect you would give to your patient.

[TheCommuter, BSN, RN]

I'm going to mention something that is slightly different, but still falls into the spectrum of respect in the nursing profession.

A customer or visitor will be escorted out of the bank by security if he/she acts like a fool and starts behaving in a menacing manner toward the tellers. A person who is riding an airplane with a major airline had better behave, or else the air marshall will make them behave. A customer who starts threatening the cashier at the local McDonald's will be asked to leave the premises by management. If a visitor starts making a scene and yelling at employees while at the local museum, he/she will be escorted to the parking lot.

However, family members and visitors can behave in the most atrocious way toward nursing staff and still get away with it at many healthcare facilities. Some visitors have even gone so far as to assault nurses. It is sad that management does not think too highly of our safety or esteem, or else they'd also be asking these menacing visitors to leave the facility.

[Jules A, MSN]

I say that sarcastically because I feel that some of the worst people I have ever met have worn nursing uniforms.

The older I get, the more I believe in evil. I think there is a segment of the population who can do harm without regret and create workplace environments that are next to impossible to work in.

I am sure there are many stories far worse than mine out there that I haven't even tapped into. Please, somebody explain to me the human nature than makes us eat each other and spit each other out. I get so sick of the back room discussions, the snide remarks and the way we treat each other.

So, if you are one of those people who have to cause controversy, can't keep your mouth shut, and are basically evil in nature, do us all a favor and get a job as a landing strip painter or cactus weeder in the desert because we don't need your kind. Problem is, most of us are this person.

RN school for me is a new beginning. When I graduate, I will see none of this again. That is my dream. Please treat each other with the same dignity and respect you would give to your patient.

I found your "essay" to be pretty negative. For the most part I have had a great experience as a nurse interacting with my co-workers and superiors. There are always a couple of rotten apples but that is life and if you think that "some of the worst people I have ever met have worn nursing uniforms" that is just sad. I'm proud to be a nurse and think that some of the finest people I have ever met have worn nursing uniforms.

[trimm]

I found your "essay" to be pretty negative. .

I think it's the non sugar coated truth. Maybe you have it good where you work, or have been blessed with better people than I. But I would expect that the majority have had the same experiences that I have had working in health care and in life in general.

I was sitting at the pool today watching my kid when the lady behind me asked her kid where his "floaties" were. He said the lady behind the counter wouldn't get them for him. She stood up, and walked off saying she wouldn't have a job when she was done with her. This is the same lady who out loud said if she weren't in public, she would have slapped her ill behaved child.

I thought about this post when she said that. Maybe I can sugar coat that for you. Sorry, I can't

[CBsMommy]

I think it's the non sugar coated truth. Maybe you have it good where you work, or have been blessed with better people than I. But I would expect that the majority have had the same experiences that I have had working in health care and in life in general.

I was sitting at the pool today watching my kid when the lady behind me asked her kid where his "floaties" were. He said the lady behind the counter wouldn't get them for him. She stood up, and walked off saying she wouldn't have a job when she was done with her. This is the same lady who out loud said if she weren't in public, she would have slapped her ill behaved child.

I thought about this post when she said that. Maybe I can sugar coat that for you. Sorry, I can't

I often think about this type to behaviour when I am out in public. Irregardless of where I work, shop or even drive, I run into this attitude. Sometimes I wonder if it's better to adopt the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude but I don't think that would work with my personality. I don't really have any answers for you but to let you know that you are not alone in this dog-eat-dog world. Sometimes, when I really start to get down about this, I will go to the store and smile and say "hi" to everyone I come across or give someone a really nice compliment. It doesn't matter if they don't respond, at least I made the effort. I do wish that someone would hit the delete button and go back to the early days of treat people as you would wish to be treated. Good luck and know that you are not alone!!!

[lilbearzmom]

I'm confused. Please explain why it will be suddenly different when you're an RN.

[trimm]

I'm confused. Please explain why it will be suddenly different when you're an RN.

I said it would be a dream. Not reality.

[lilbearzmom]

OK, got it. I hope you find it.

[trimm]

Sometimes I wonder if it's better to adopt the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude but I don't think that would work with my personality

I think you nailed it on the head. I often think about why people act the way they do. I have taken Psychology and Sociology classes just like everyone here, but never have heard the reason why. I believe it is a group mob mentality. What ever is in fashion or the fad is what everyone does. People are sheep, they really are.

They claim to be individualistic, but they are not. Everyone is afraid to be different or be singled out. Even Jesus had to try to convince people to treat each other with respect. See where that got him?

There was a time in Nazi Germany when killing was accepted by many, not all. How do you explain this? Now a days that kind of behavior would never be tolerated, unless it was going on in Africa.

Human nature is powered by fad and fashion, and until it is fashionable to treat each other with respect, it will never happen. And when it does, as we all know, fashion and fad changes with the wind.

[EmmyBee]

I found your "essay" to be pretty negative. For the most part I have had a great experience as a nurse interacting with my co-workers and superiors. There are always a couple of rotten apples but that is life and if you think that "some of the worst people I have ever met have worn nursing uniforms" that is just sad. I'm proud to be a nurse and think that some of the finest people I have ever met have worn nursing uniforms.

I agree that some of the finest people I have ever met, have worn nursing uniforms. But like they say, with the good, comes the bad. And unfortunately, most of what the OP has stated, rings true. Or at least it has for me, in my experiences.

I started out in the healthcare field when I was 19. I was an Army medic for 6 years, and saw the behavior the OP referred to. I then became an LPN, which I have been for the past 14 years. I've worked as one both in the military and out. Again, I have seen the behavior the OP referred to. I have two semesters left in my RN program. And once I graduate and start working as one, I have no doubt that I will also see the behavior the OP referred to.

And while I am overall a positive person, some might say that is a very negative attitude to have. But in 20 years, working in different states and countries, in different types of facilities, with different types of people, in different levels of healthcare, and in different types of nursing in general, I have seen the kind of behavior posted about, everywhere that I have worked.

Is it everyone? No. There are many great nurses, and patients, as well. And I've actually liked most of the jobs I've held, and the people I've met along the way. I still enjoy nursing and haven't lost my faith in it. But the trend I have seen speaks for itself and can't be ignored. The issues the OP spoke of, are real.

[weirhead69]

I have been in retail the last 10 years of my life and think I have some truths figured out. Some people thrive on conflict. Some personality types are just built to come alive when conflicts are brewing and if there aren't any, they need to create them. Ever wondered why reality tv is so popular? In my business we provide an inhome service and people have become more and more nasty to deal with. We live in a depersonalized world where the businesses we shop at and the restaurants we eat at are all controled by corporate entities completey divorced from local communities. People act bad because they feel like it's accepted. At Wal-Mart you get your way by making the biggest scene and you don't have to worry about seing the owner at church on Sunday.

I wanted to go into nursing to help people in their time of need and serve people in a higher capacity. In retail everyone acts as if every petty concern is life or death. At least in nursing it may be true.

[Quidam]

I often think about this type to behaviour when I am out in public. Irregardless of where I work, shop or even drive, I run into this attitude. Sometimes I wonder if it's better to adopt the "if you can't beat 'em, join 'em" attitude but I don't think that would work with my personality. I don't really have any answers for you but to let you know that you are not alone in this dog-eat-dog world. Sometimes, when I really start to get down about this, I will go to the store and smile and say "hi" to everyone I come across or give someone a really nice compliment. It doesn't matter if they don't respond, at least I made the effort. I do wish that someone would hit the delete button and go back to the early days of treat people as you would wish to be treated. Good luck and know that you are not alone!!!

Ya know...this compelled me to post what has been on my mind for a while.

I am a new grad and have been working at my first position for 6 months now. I feel truly blessed to have landed where I did. My co-workers are wonderfully supportive. My preceptor was patient and encouraging. I never feel awkward asking for help or asking questions. I am repeatedly asked if I need help..."what can I do for you"? "Do you need anything"? And I hear them saying this to even experienced co-workers. I am sure to offer assistance when I can as well, as I want to be a part of this team they have built.

Now I have had a few minor incidents but nothing major. And nothing that got me down. There are a few not so wonderful people there, and my goal is to not let a rotten few spoil a good thing for me. But the vast majority are good nurses, with a genuine interest in new nurses and the patients.

I hear the horror stories others tell...and have even heard it about other units in my facility and each day I am grateful for this awesome unit I was lucky enough to be hired into.