resignation dilemma

Jolie, BSN · Nov 8, 2005

I will try to keep this brief.
I am in the midst of battling some personal (marital) problems that, quite frankly, my current job and shift (nights) have only seemed to exacerbate. I will not elaborate on them here but things have gotten pretty bad. I have quite unexpectedly been offered a position locally with much better hours and willing to accomodate my school schedule. It is a godsend and feel like if I can get a more stable schedule and be there more for my family, then we can begin a mending process.
I tried to give notice to current manager (who is aware of the problems I have been having)...was to give 2 wks, explaining in my resignation letter that I would like to give longer but due to compelling personal factors I did not feel as if I could give longer and that family had to come first. My manager stated that we are going into holidays and she is going to have a problem staffing - that if I do not stay until Dec 2 then I will be a "do not rehire" at that facility.
I feel as if they are just treating me as a warm body! I do not want to do anything to jeapordize my career...but I so desperately am ready to begin some healing at home. I really need to be there with my girls at night and on weekends.
In 2 more years I will have my FNP anyway and so I dont anticipate needing to return to this facility...but still am afraid of a "black mark"...
I really thought I would get more understanding than this...I did not ask to be placed in this situation. what do I do?

I am sorry for your personal problems and applaud you for making the commitment to your family that is necessary to mend things at home. I do not mean to sound overly harsh, but I believe that your first mistake was expecting (or hoping for) any understanding on the part of your manager. I strongly advise anyone resigning from any position to simply state, "I resign my position effective...." It is not necessary to give a reason, and doing so may come back to bite you in the butt. Your resignation letter will likely be kept in your permanent HR file, and if you should ever apply for re-hire, it will be looked at. Someone may decide that they don't want to hire you because they believe that you have a history of being distracted by family problems.

I would advise you to check your HR policy manual regarding voluntary resignations. Most employers indicate the amount of notice they "require" in order for an employee to remain in good standing. If you have given sufficient notice to meet their expectations, then I would inform your manager that any notation regarding your being "ineligible for re-hire" would be inappropriate and could result in legal action. If, on the other hand, your notice is not sufficient to meet their "requirement", then you have to decide what is more important to you at this time, saving your sanity or avoiding a possible "black mark". Obtain a copy of all your performance reviews NOW to keep at home in your own personal file.

Best of luck at whatever you choose.

Daytonite, BSN, RN · Nov 8, 2005

Give them their Dec. 2nd resignation date and then call in sick every day until Dec. 2nd.

Editorial Team / Admin · Nov 8, 2005

I will try to keep this brief.
I am in the midst of battling some personal (marital) problems that, quite frankly, my current job and shift (nights) have only seemed to exacerbate. I will not elaborate on them here but things have gotten pretty bad. I have quite unexpectedly been offered a position locally with much better hours and willing to accomodate my school schedule. It is a godsend and feel like if I can get a more stable schedule and be there more for my family, then we can begin a mending process.
I tried to give notice to current manager (who is aware of the problems I have been having)...was to give 2 wks, explaining in my resignation letter that I would like to give longer but due to compelling personal factors I did not feel as if I could give longer and that family had to come first. My manager stated that we are going into holidays and she is going to have a problem staffing - that if I do not stay until Dec 2 then I will be a "do not rehire" at that facility.
I feel as if they are just treating me as a warm body! I do not want to do anything to jeapordize my career...but I so desperately am ready to begin some healing at home. I really need to be there with my girls at night and on weekends.
In 2 more years I will have my FNP anyway and so I dont anticipate needing to return to this facility...but still am afraid of a "black mark"...
I really thought I would get more understanding than this...I did not ask to be placed in this situation. what do I do?

Hello, mtnmom,:balloons:

I am sorry you are having problems.

Just a couple questions. Are you in a position of management? Do you have an agreement to give more than two weeks notice? If not, then you are within your right to leave with 2 weeks notice.

That being said, I suppose administration can threaten you with a "no hire" comment. You will just need to remind them you are not obligated to give more than a two week notice.

You have to do what is best for the family. They come first.

I wish you well.

llg, PhD, RN · Nov 8, 2005

Give them their Dec. 2nd resignation date and then call in sick every day until Dec. 2nd.

I hope you are joking. This is the worst advice I have ever seen on this board. To do something like that might prevent the original poster from ever getting a job in that town again. While it might be "fun" to fantasize about taking such retribution ... in real life, such actions are often taken at a high price.

She needs to find a way to leave on honorable terms -- which may or may not be to her current employer's liking -- but which she can defend as being honorable if she needs to defend them in the future.

I agree with all the other posters above. Check the written rules/policies of your employer and comply with them if at all possible -- but you are under no obligation to stay longer than that. Get as much in writing as you can, especially copies of employee evaluations that show what a good nurse and employee you have been. If possible, get copies of any threats against you or actions taken against you in writing, too, though that will probably be more difficult.

Good luck,

llg

mtnmom · Nov 8, 2005

thanks for the replies so far.

A little more info...I am a regular hourly staff RN (non-management)

Unfortunately, I had already stated in my resignation letter that there were family concerns present. For better or for worse, I am one of those people who believes in telling the truth.

I do not make apology for that fact....I had already discussed my situation with my manager to some degree in order to try to negotiate a better schedule. All I got in response to that was my hours cut in half, so I had to go out and find agency work. For better or for worse, I am one of those people who believes in telling the truth.

I really do not anticipate wanting to work for this facility ever again due to the way that this has been handled, as well as some other concerns. But I still dont want to be "blackballed". I have worked too hard to get where I am, and continue to work hard to get where I am going.

mtnmom · Nov 8, 2005

And Btw, on my one and only eval I have had there, I got a good eval on everything, with "commendable" in the customer service category...at a time when our dept ratings are at an all-time low...so I think that I have been a good employee.

Editorial Team / Admin · Nov 8, 2005

thanks for the replies so far.
A little more info...I am a regular hourly staff RN (non-management)
Unfortunately, I had already stated in my resignation letter that there were family concerns present. For better or for worse, I am one of those people who believes in telling the truth.
I do not make apology for that fact....I had already discussed my situation with my manager to some degree in order to try to negotiate a better schedule. All I got in response to that was my hours cut in half, so I had to go out and find agency work. For better or for worse, I am one of those people who believes in telling the truth.
I really do not anticipate wanting to work for this facility ever again due to the way that this has been handled, as well as some other concerns. But I still dont want to be "blackballed". I have worked too hard to get where I am, and continue to work hard to get where I am going.

Normally, in this situation, the notice time is two weeks. If you do not have another agreement saying differently, then you are within your right to give only a two week notice.

If you are threatened with a "no hire" because you are exercising your rights, you might consider seeking legal advice to back you up and have, just in case, they make good on the threat.

And, I cannot blame you for never wanting to work there again. Sounds like a facility who, as you said, treats their employess as warm bodies. Unfortunately, they do not have your best interests at hand.

mtnmom · Nov 8, 2005

Normally, in this situation, the notice time is two weeks. If you do not have another agreement saying differently, then you are within your right to give only a two week notice.
If you are threatened with a "no hire" because you are exercising your rights, you might consider seeking legal advice to back you up and have, just in case, they make good on the threat.
And, I cannot blame you for never wanting to work there again. Sounds like a facility who, as you said, treats their employess as warm bodies. Unfortunately, they do not have your best interests at hand.

I have signed nothing regarding a required notice time.

In addition, I live at Georgia, which is a "at will" state - my interpretation of the law is that I (or the employer) can terminate our working relationship at any time.

Notices, in my opinion, are given for professional courtesy. In my case I would like to be able to give the month requested but have some compelling reasons to do otherwise. I also don't appreciate the way that the "request" (I see it as a demand) was put on me! I am not a small child and do not want to be treated like one.

TypicalFish · Nov 8, 2005

thanks for the replies so far.
A little more info...I am a regular hourly staff RN (non-management)
Unfortunately, I had already stated in my resignation letter that there were family concerns present. For better or for worse, I am one of those people who believes in telling the truth.
I do not make apology for that fact....I had already discussed my situation with my manager to some degree in order to try to negotiate a better schedule. All I got in response to that was my hours cut in half, so I had to go out and find agency work. For better or for worse, I am one of those people who believes in telling the truth.
I really do not anticipate wanting to work for this facility ever again due to the way that this has been handled, as well as some other concerns. But I still dont want to be "blackballed". I have worked too hard to get where I am, and continue to work hard to get where I am going.

I wouldn't talk to her again about it. First, Look up in your HR guidelines, to see if she is telling the truth, then I would re-submit your resignation letter, to personnel, and add something like "Although Ms. XXX, my nurse-manager has informed me that if I left at this time, even after giving proper notice as listed in the HR manual, that I would be marked as a "do not re-hire" , the needs of my family are such that, at this time, I need to submit my resignation, effective XXX. However, I have greatly enjoyed my employment at XXX hospital, and have appreciated the chance to work here; I do hope that in the future, if I apply for a position at XXX hospital, my previous excellent emploment history will be considered."

You basically have two choices, passing on something that sounds like you need to do for your family, and risking being black-balled, but really you sound like you know what you need to do; and also, this NM will give your grief regardless of what you do, so you may as well go out sticking up for yourself.

Best of Luck, you can always get another job, but your family is, well, your family!

Super_RN, BSN, RN · Nov 8, 2005

I am sorry to hear of your problems, but I am glad to hear of you standing up for yourself and taking care of what really matters. Good luck to you and your family.

mtnmom · Nov 9, 2005

Now I am told that not only will I not be eligible for rehire but will forfeit all my pdo's. About 60+. That is too much money to thumb my nose at! I feel as if I am being held hostage!