relief?

[kitten_]

This is something I have NEVER admitted to ANYONE but I feel like maybe you all will understand. My son was born sept. 22nd 2006 at 32 weeks with a very large omphalocele. He lived through 2 surgeries and 12 hours but it ended up that his lungs weren't good and the once he went on the oscillater he just crashed. At first I wondered why more wasn't done but now sometimes I am just relieved. I know he would have been in the NICU for months and months and I have to wonder if that would have been harder than losing him. Do you ever feel this was about your patients? Like okay yeah that one really didn't have a chance I'm glad it wasn't prolonged?

I am just starting my prereqs this semester so I can be a nurse. As of right now I am feeling conflicted... I always thought L&D was for me but now I am starting to wonder about NICU. I think I may start in L&D and move on to NICU later. I completely admire you NICU nurses and what you do and I hope someday to be as awesome as you!

[BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN]

I am so sorry about your baby But we do feel like that...there are some kids that you look at and just wish it was all over and we could just leave him/her in peace.

Good luck in school!

[Imafloat, BSN, RN]

I am so sorry about the death of your son.

[mybabies]

I am so sorry to hear that! Just be comforted to know that he is not suffering any longer. He is now an angel watching over you. From a nursing perspective...I can say that I have thought this way about some patients. I have some long term NICU babies where I work and it is so sad to see everything they have to go through and know that they will not get any better. Again, I am so sorry for you loss.

[Burnt Out, ASN, RN]

This is something I have NEVER admitted to ANYONE but I feel like maybe you all will understand. My son was born sept. 22nd 2006 at 32 weeks with a very large omphalocele. He lived through 2 surgeries and 12 hours but it ended up that his lungs weren't good and the once he went on the oscillater he just crashed. At first I wondered why more wasn't done but now sometimes I am just relieved. I know he would have been in the NICU for months and months and I have to wonder if that would have been harder than losing him. Do you ever feel this was about your patients? Like okay yeah that one really didn't have a chance I'm glad it wasn't prolonged?

I am just starting my prereqs this semester so I can be a nurse. As of right now I am feeling conflicted... I always thought L&D was for me but now I am starting to wonder about NICU. I think I may start in L&D and move on to NICU later. I completely admire you NICU nurses and what you do and I hope someday to be as awesome as you!

I'm so sorry about your son. You aren't alone in your feelings. I've had similar feelings in the past years since my son died too: he had congenital heart disease (Ventricular Septal Defect w/ Double Outlet Right Ventricle/Tetralogy of Fallot) and bilateral cleft lip and palate. He lived for 12 days but never made it to a surgery (CHD surgery would have been first). Sometimes I am grateful that he didn't have to have surgery because I was worried about complications and things after but sometimes I wonder if it would have given us a little more time with him.

As a grieving parent there are always going to be "should haves, would haves and could haves" and they are hard to deal with at times. Just wanted to give you support.:icon_hug:

I'm not a NICU nurse but a very grateful NICU mommy too.

[RainDreamer, BSN, RN]

(((((HUGS))))) to you that have lost babies, I'm so sorry, and can't imagine what you've gone through.

I have felt like that many times with babies in the NICU. I hate seeing their suffering prolonged ..... so many of them just need to go to heaven, but rather they suffer and spend MONTHS and MONTHS laying in bed. It's devastating watching them suffer and knowing that they have no quality of life.