This is something I have NEVER admitted to ANYONE but I feel like maybe you all will understand. My son was born sept. 22nd 2006 at 32 weeks with a very large omphalocele. He lived through 2 surgeries and 12 hours but it ended up that his lungs weren't good and the once he went on the oscillater he just crashed. At first I wondered why more wasn't done but now sometimes I am just relieved. I know he would have been in the NICU for months and months and I have to wonder if that would have been harder than losing him. Do you ever feel this was about your patients? Like okay yeah that one really didn't have a chance I'm glad it wasn't prolonged? I am just starting my prereqs this semester so I can be a nurse. As of right now I am feeling conflicted... I always thought L&D was for me but now I am starting to wonder about NICU. I think I may start in L&D and move on to NICU later. I completely admire you NICU nurses and what you do and I hope someday to be as awesome as you!