Should I hang it up??

[bluebird3]

I was a nurse in a MICU floor as a new graduate for just over a year. After graduating first in my class from a very respected diploma program, passing my NCLEX on my first try, and being older (42), I thought I would be successful if I really put my mind to the task. Well, I could not have been more wrong! I hated my job, though I loved my patients. I found my colleagues more interested in making it harder for me than helpful. One doctor who was a leading physician on the floor was so intolerable in his arrogance and emotional abuse. I dreaded every shift and came home exhausted and feeling worthless and stupid. It seemed no matter how hard I tried, I could not get on top of all the meds, mechanics, and organization needed to succeed.

After a year and a half, I took a job outside of the hospital in an OB/GYN clinic that I loved. After marrying a man from another city, I was forced to give up this job and move, taking a job in PreSurgical Testing at a small local hospital. Once again, I ran into internal nurse politics that I could not understand and could not seem to work successfully within. I found that since my husband was a physician, many nurses resented my presence, assuming I need not work. Since I was PRN, after 1 year, I just quit picking up shifts.

It seems after all this trouble, I would just forget nursing and move on...But, I love/loved the people I tried to help. Though the politics of nursing are inbearable, the rewards of offering comfort to the dying, making the sick just a bit more comfortable, or giving words of comfort to a worried patient are precious.

I want to return to the profession in some way. I haven't practiced in 6 years, though I have kept my license current. I wonder, should I return to school for a ADN to MSN program, since I have a BS in another field? Should I take a refresher course and seek another job?

I would appreciate any advice. And thank you to anyone who has taken the time to read my lengthy saga!

[liberated847]

My advice is to go to school and get your MSN, you would probably enjoy other aspects of nursing that do not include bedside work.

[KelRN215, BSN, RN]

I think you could enjoy areas of nursing where you work more independently... maybe school nurse or home health? You enjoyed OB/GYN, would you enjoy doing post-partum home visits?

[Guest757854]

MSN sounds great to me. You seem very smart and i do believe other aspects of nursing would definitely be a great for you

Best of luck.

[RunBabyRN]

Don't give up! Keep looking for better environments, or do that MSN. What did you like about the OB/GYN? What about WHNP, if it was the clientele? Culture makes SUCH a difference in work environments, and while there will always be politics, the culture varies widely from one location to another.

Good luck!

[Ruby Vee, BSN]

I don't see MSN versus giving up as a valid either/or. Graduate school is lengthy, difficult and expensive. Take it on only if you're sure that you want the jobs that will be available to you after finishing. If you're not certain, take a refresher course and go back to the bedside.

I will say that older, second career new graduates often have difficulty adapting as new nurses. One of my orientees who was a new graduate at 39 told me that she's figured out from observing other second career new grads and her own experiences that it's because they lack the necessary sense of urgency. They often had difficulty with time management and with response to emergency situations because their sense of urgency wasn't as fully developed as it ought to be. I can't comment on that, except to say that the orientee was a brilliant student but a lackluster nurse until she came up with this insight, and now she shines.

The stuff you experienced in your first job sounds like normal transition from student to nurse. I imagine that when you're in your forties and have already had a non-nursing career, you think that first year of nursing misery doesn't apply to you. You'd be wrong. You just have to hang in, and get through that first year, and things do get better. You didn't stick it out, and changed jobs. You might have loved Med/Surg as well.

My advice is to figure out where you think you'd like to work, take a refresher course or volunteer or shadow or whatever, and get a job with a good, solid orientation program. Stick it out for a year and then see if you like it, if you're still interested in advanced degrees, or if there's something else you'd like better.

[sallyrnrrt, ADN, RN]

i love hospice and home health, and physician clinic environments