Red Hat

an old lady was standing at the railing of the cruise ship

holding her hat tight

so that it would not blow away in the wind.

a gentleman approached her and said,

"pardon me, madam.

i do not intend to be forward

but did you know that your dress

is blowing up in this high wind?"

"yes, i know," said the lady.

"i need both my hands

to hold onto this hat."

"but madam, you must know that you are

not wearing any panties

and your privates are exposed!"

said the gentleman in earnest.

the woman looked down,

then back up at the man

and replied,

"sir, anything you see down there

is 85 years old.

i just bought this hat yesterday!"