It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
u are being unrealistic to think that all moms should have x-mas off to spend with their children. Exactly who do u think will be working? What about the male nurses? It's not important for dad to be there? And since I don't & can't have my own children y should I have to pick up shifts for those that do? I've been nursing for 13 years & out of the 13 I've had Christmas off once during which time I spent in ICU with my grandfather watching my grandmother pass away. Every other Christmas I always asked my co-workers with children if they would like the day off & typically worked a double shift. It all depends on how u are approached.
Nurses chose to work holidays when they chose to work in a hospital setting. I have worked in doctors offices and had every holiday off. I now chose to work 3 days per week in a hospital so I have to deal wtih holidays. My choice, no one else's. It doesn't matter where you're a male or a female. Holidays are important to most everyone. If you have been offering to work for others on a holiday that's great so there's no reason for you to have such an attitude. I worked the first 8 Christmas' of my career because I didn't have children. I gladly did so and never regretted it. I am thinking about myself now, becoming a grandmother for the first time and I am going to chose to get out of hospital nursing.
my husband is a nurse in an micu, and i am working on my master's in nursing. so when it comes to working holidays we understand that it is a must. we also have two young daughters. unfortunately, they can not understand that mommy and daddy have to work on holidays. sometmes we end up working the same holiday - not easy with little ones with expectations of being with their parents. however, instead of focusing on the holiday, my husband and i choose to focus on family togetherness. isn't that what holidays are about anyways? it would be great if we could both be home to see their faces when they wake-up christmas morning and run to a big pile of toys...and sometimes that works out. we love our time with our children if it is the morning or night of the holiday, the day before, the day after, and so on. your co-worker needs to look deep inside and think about what it is about the holiday that is so important to her. i hope you enjoy your time with your family, and i hope your co-worker realizes how special and valuable her time is with her kids, no matter when it is that she celebrates the holiday with them. last year my husband had to work christmas eve night and christmas day night because of the way the rotation fell. instead of ranting and trying to guilt others into switching shifts, we used it as a teaching opportunity for our girls to learn about giving of oneself to others in need. the girls and i made a full turkey dinner, loaded up the car, and set up the spread at the micu for the staff and families that were also "stuck" there for the holidays. holidays are what you make of them, a little creativity and extra effort can make them enjoyable for everyone! good luck!
Lovely post. Welcome to allnurses. Hope to hear alot more from you. When I have to work on a holiday we celebrate it the day before or the day after. It kinda sucks but it goes with the job. I am looking to get out of hospital nursing but at age 50 I think besides the holidays that's understandable. Again, thanks lovely post.
I told her how rude she was being ("it's really rude and very unfair to just assume that someone with no kids doesn't want time off. End of discussion"). If i hadn't have, someone probably would have checked to see if i still had a pulse lol.
Your co-worker needs to grow up. I see so much of this and I still can't believe it. It is a hospital(or whatever), it is open 24/7. You KNOW that when you agree to WORK there. If the possibility of working weekends, holidays, night or evening shifts does not fit into your lifestyle, find work ELSEWHERE! GEEZ! Some people are so clueless, selfish, I don't know what. Good for you for standing up to her Marie. I have children myself and have worked my share of holidays. It comes w/the territory and we celebrate early or on another day. If I/my family couldn't handle the adjustment, I would find work in a DR's office or some other facility that wasn't open on weekend and holidays. My mother worked as a nurse in a hospital and was a single parent. She worked some holidays and we all made the most of it. It didn't ruin our lives.
u are being unrealistic to think that all moms should have x-mas off to spend with their children. Exactly who do u think will be working? What about the male nurses? It's not important for dad to be there? And since I don't & can't have my own children y should I have to pick up shifts for those that do? I've been nursing for 13 years & out of the 13 I've had Christmas off once during which time I spent in ICU with my grandfather watching my grandmother pass away. Every other Christmas I always asked my co-workers with children if they would like the day off & typically worked a double shift. It all depends on how u are approached.
How very kind and selfless of you. By golly you should get THIS xmas off just on general principles. God bless your good-hearted attitude.
I (as a nurse w/ 3 children) agree that the other nurse should have never assumed her reason was more important than yours. I personally think that hte only reasons that should trump others' reasons for wanting off are those once in a lifetime things-close family member death, wife had a baby, you know?
I have a baby, this will be her first christmas-i may have to work it, and thats ok-we can do it on cmas eve-the kids will like that-they get their gifts early! I did request Halloween off, b/c trick or treating can only be done at that one time. (I wasn't here last year, and asked someone who was if Halloween had a high demand for being off, and she said no).
Another thing to think about-What about these folks who are sick and in the hospital? They have to spend all day there-we only have to spend 8 or 12 hours. Heck, they may not even have the day before or the day after at home, they don't get paid to be there (in fact, they are PAYING to be there), etc. Why can't we have some compassion and do what we can to make their day the best we can by not being grumpy we aren't at home?
Bottom line-i have kids, some of my coworkers don't-I in no way think I am more entitled to days off than them. I can celebrate thanksgiving on wednesday or friday-we have a small family, so it can be arranged. I can do christmas on christmas eve. the most important thing is that i spend the happy time iwht my family, not whether that happy time is december 24th or 25th.
It's that time of year again, even though the holiday schedule has been out for a year, people are making last minute switches. No big deal except for a co-worker that approached me, after seeing i have Christmas Eve and Christmas Day off.
Started out nice: "I saw you had both days off, are you interested in trading them?" I said "Actually i'd like to keep both days off, my family has been through a lot, my dad's brother died a couple of weeks ago, and i'd like to go back home for those days." She said "Hmm, guess i won't be home for my kids for Christmas." I didn't say anything or do anything. Then after a minute she says "You don't have kids, what do you need Christmas off for?":angryfire
It's a wonder my head didn't explode. First off it wasn't her dang business what i wanted Christmas off for anyway, secondly how dare she make such a comment, as if those days won't mean squat to me all because i don't have children.
I'm sure her kids are important to her, i'm sure she would like to be there on those days, but the fact that i do not have children doesn't mean that things in my life are no less important. Nor should it mean that i should want to rearrange my life to accomodate someone that does. Which i've had to do a few times as a result of her taking 3 days weekends since august (we do self-scheduling). As a result of her doing this, i get screwed out of 3 days weekends 90% of the time. Her excuse for needing 3 days weekends? "Because i have kids." Not "My kid(s) has an appt., game, tournament, etc." "Because i have kids."
In no way am i knocking her because she has kids, or anyone, but it's almost like she expects accomodation from people because of the kids. It's not fair to everyone else. Everyone else manages and they have children. And everyone else at work wouldn't have made such a self-entitling statement about someone with no children having the holidays off, because most people take their turns every year. Just because i don't have children doesn not mean that i don't have a life or that i don't have things to do.
Marie Hi! I'm glad you stood your ground! Enjoy your Christmas as I am sure you have earned it! As a Single without Children (no desire to have Children)-my choice for private personal reasons. This Area of One's Private life should never even enter into the Arguement. I seldom discuss my private life at work for this exact reason. I have observed this Discrimination against single childless employees for years. I tolerated(not any more) employees with children trapsing in late and/or leaving early, not wanting to work week-ends with the excuses such as the Kids were sick, they have a soccer game, cannot get a baby sitter, my husband has to work this week-end, we have to be together for Christmas ect. It goes on and on but not for me. Not all employees with Children are like this but I have seen many who were. Years back I tolerated it for a year or so but in reality it was one group of people taking advantage of another group. I think when we walk up to the Hospital Door for a Job we are all equal in that uniform and everything else has to stay at the door. We are Employees first and foremost and have to realize when we accept Employment it is as a Nurse with no other baggage, comittements ect; if one is not willing to accept this condition of Employment, we should look elsewhere. One thing that helped was our Seniority list but this was cancelled from Dec23 to Jan 2 to prevent any one person constantly getting off the whole Christmas/ New Years period. Any other time of the year, Total Years of Service Ruled. Once, 25 years ago, I complained to an older worker who always received the best choice weeks off and he responded "Well, slave away for 35 years as I have and then some Day, the time will arrive when you are in my position and due to long Service as a Loyal Employee, the same Courtesy will be extended to you. Amen.:)
I saw comments on Holiday double time elsewhere in this thread and need to clarify this issue. To be payed double time(true) for say, Christmas, in reality, you have to see Triple time in your check(gross). Rational: As far as I know, all hospitals pay for the Hoilday if you work or Not(unless one calls in sick the day before or after the paid holiday) so you are paid Straight time if you work or not. Say your Hourly Rate is $20, to truly EARN Double Time you need to see $60 as your Holiday pay(the 8 hours of holiday pay you receive anyways PLUS 2 times the hourly rate of $20/hr being $40=$60/hr) otherwise you are only being payed your Regular Hourly Rate if you gross $40/hour. A reason I seldom work Holidays because as a single, if my gross is to high, I really do not benefit; I'm only bumped into a higher tax bracket. One really needs to put a "Sharp" pencil to paper to see the benefit of excess ot. Many times its only a paper gain on the check.
if it makes you feel any better i have recieved the same treatment. We also have a system in place to try to give people a fair amount of holidays off. In my situation i usually volunteered to work the holidays. this last year i made the effort to take christmas off ( i had just finished taking accelerated classes to extend my RN to BSN and working on my masters :imbar ) when one of my coworkers made the comment also why do i need the holidays of because i also have no kids and no partner as well( some like to rub it in) . She also expressed that since she had grandkids that she should get priority. I just reminded her that was not how it worked and that seeing my mother and the rest of the family should count. (she just walked away in a fit )
(remember that when you use the "kid" excuse, that you may be tearing a hole in your childless coworker's heart......not a good way to get a day off)
Ohhhhh... exactly!!!! There are some people who have been trying for years to have a baby but can't. I wouldn't blame anyone for tearing someone a new one if they came up to that person (who couldn't have kids) and said, "You don't have kids, you don't need Christmas off..."
It's up to the parents how they present the situation to the kids. My dad works most holidays, and he always did while I was growing up. I understood that he worked in a hospital and that it was a place that never closed. If he was gone on Christmas morning, while I'd miss him, I would just open presents with my mom and look forward to seeing him later in the day. My parents never made it a big deal - just said, "Dad's working today, he'll be home later and then we'll have our Christmas/Thanksgiving/Easter dinner." I was actually quite proud to have a dad that was willing to be at the hospital on a holiday helping people - it's one of the things that turned me on to the medical profession in the first place. His compassion for others has always been an inspiration to me.
So it's not always a tragedy, having to work the holidays. It's all a matter of perspective.
ITA cotjocky. I also think though it doesn't hurt a self-absorbed person to be reminded that a holiday or an event, etc. doesn't totally revolve around them or their loved ones. Marie wants to be w/ family for her own reasons, just like others who I hope also tell this co-worker of hers no too. This person should think #1 before they ask if they are being unreasonable in even asking and #2 be gracious if they decide it's okay to ask, but the answer is no. I don't think Marie has any problem saying no to someone like this, but a twentysomething new grad (been there) may feel intimidated by this person, even though he/she too is entitled to a holiday off if it's their turn to be off. Truthfully, the selfish people who have these expectations of others don't deserve an answer I know, but we usually feel like we have to give them one. I have a co-worker who "loves the Lord" (evidently more than anyone else she thinks) and really wants every Sunday off (she wants every Christmas off too) and likes to assume that the rest of us who do not have identical beliefs should accomodate her whenever possible. Actually, my answer to this person for any schedule change is an automatic NO. I feel she manipulates the schedule enough already by aleays asking off on Sundays first if we have a low census.
Here's my thought: What better way to love the Lord than to serve his people by caring for them on a Sunday/Holiday when they themselves would much rather be w/family/fellow churchgoers. There are MANY way to worship and serve our Lord. One of the most rewarding ways is to be involved in healthcare. So there!
we also have two young daughters. unfortunately, they can not understand that mommy and daddy have to work on holidays. sometmes we end up working the same holiday - not easy with little ones with expectations of being with their parents. however, instead of focusing on the holiday, my husband and i choose to focus on family togetherness. isn't that what holidays are about anyways? it would be great if we could both be home to see their faces when they wake-up christmas morning and run to a big pile of toys...and sometimes that works out. we love our time with our children if it is the morning or night of the holiday, the day before, the day after, and so on. your co-worker needs to look deep inside and think about what it is about the holiday that is so important to her. i hope you enjoy your time with your family, and i hope your co-worker realizes how special and valuable her time is with her kids, no matter when it is that she celebrates the holiday with them.
last year my husband had to work christmas eve night and christmas day night because of the way the rotation fell. instead of ranting and trying to guilt others into switching shifts, we used it as a teaching opportunity for our girls to learn about giving of oneself to others in need. the girls and i made a full turkey dinner, loaded up the car, and set up the spread at the micu for the staff and families that were also "stuck" there for the holidays. holidays are what you make of them, a little creativity and extra effort can make them enjoyable for everyone! good luck!
DutchgirlRN, ASN, RN
3,932 Posts
Nurses chose to work holidays when they chose to work in a hospital setting. I have worked in doctors offices and had every holiday off. I now chose to work 3 days per week in a hospital so I have to deal wtih holidays. My choice, no one else's. It doesn't matter where you're a male or a female. Holidays are important to most everyone. If you have been offering to work for others on a holiday that's great so there's no reason for you to have such an attitude. I worked the first 8 Christmas' of my career because I didn't have children. I gladly did so and never regretted it. I am thinking about myself now, becoming a grandmother for the first time and I am going to chose to get out of hospital nursing.
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