"back up". Need tips on putting hubby through school

Katie5 · Aug 2, 2011

If this post was moved I am unaware. He will be going for CRNA. 40 hours/week class time alone. 2-3 tests a week, 2 rotations his second year where he will have to be away fro home for 3 weeks at a time. It's very intense.

Just saw this post of yours.

As someone already mentioned, a huge world of difference. I know someone in CRNA school currently- you have to ACE all your tests. This is double the worry of nursing school.

You can be ejected very easily. Yup, hubby needs all the study time that he can get(and get away with). But think about the rewards when he finally gets done. Oh yeah, I'm with him on this. He will have little to no life (except he's a genius):)

KaringOne · Aug 2, 2011

I see several red flags....one of which is living w/ your parents. Also, like someone else mentioned, I am not sure you are completely on board with him going to school. It is doable...been there / done that....kept a marriage together in the process (celebrated our 22nd anniv. this summer). Was it hard?? You bet...at times it felt almost unbearable. I put my hubby thru med school many years ago. Actually, his first year of med school, i was in my last year of nursing school....and we had a toddler. I graduated from nursing school at the end of his first year of med school. Our daugther was 2 1/2. I then worked full time and had another baby early in his 3rd yr. HOW did we do it?? We scheduled family time...he actually WROTE it on his schedule...and that time was sacred. We scheduled time as a couple...the same....was sacred. We also talked to couples who had went thru med school married...we both had realistic expectations of what it would be.....and it was OUR dream...we did it together. He often studied holding one of our daughters....even took her to class with him a few times...lol...I helped him study...quizzed him...drilled him, at times even during dinner to help him prepare for an exam. Were there times it was hard...yepp..you bet. On Mothers Day, 1995 he graduated. Our oldest was 5 1/2 and went to her daddys graduation...she still remembers it. What I will tell you is we took one semester at a time. We planned "rewards" for us at the end of each semester....a special date...or a family day hiking...SOMETHING we were both able to look foreward to. I can honestly say there was only 2 months that I felt like a single mom...his surgery rotations....BUT we understood TOGETHER that our kids needed BOTH parents...not just a mommy who worked full time. I am now preparing to go back for my Masters...again, just like it was when he went to med school...the goal is OURS...not just mine. The dream is OURS....and he will help me study and support me as I did him.
One of the things I remember most about his first year of med school is him coming home from class in Sept. I was working on a nursing process paper..sitting at the typewriter, crying. I could not get the electric typewriter to do whatever I REALLY needed it to do. We did not have a PC...early 1990s. He calmly asked me for my paper. He took it that evening to the computer lab at the med center (was for the med students) and proofed and typed it for me. After that, he typed ALL of my papers for me for the rest of the year. That spoke VOLUMES of how much he loved me. He was crazy busy with his own classses, yet he made sure i was taken care of.
I can tell you more HOW we did it...how we made it work....but your marriage has to be priority...above school...then the kids...then school. Get a routine. We would both get home about 5pm (during his first 2 yrs of med school)..we would have dinner...play with the kids...baths ect. The kids and I would go to bed at 8-8:30...and he would study until midnight every night. One day on the weekend was his to study....library if he needed it...the other day, we scheduled at least a half day as family time.
Hope this helps....happy to talk to you more. years later, his memories of those years are blurred...I carry those memories...for US. Yes I remember him telling me that he felt like he could never study enough....yes, I remember his excitment during anatomy....but also how he was unable to eat chicken that entire year...and how he REAKED of formaldahyde every time he had anatomy lab. I remember his struggles during pharm...his passion and excitment during cardiology...his frustration during biochem. Even years later, those memories are clear. Remember his taking our daughter to Histology lecture....I was in clinicals that day..she was sick enough not to be able to go to the sitter, but could go to class w/ him (ears)...he sat up in the balcony w/ other med students who were parents and who would also on occass bring their kids to class....the prof put slides of cells up on the over head....our daughter loudly called out "balloons, Daddy"...and a few min later "More balloons Daddy"...the prof was not too impressed but that was okay...:). That particular daughter will be a senior in nursing school this fall and joking talks about how she was raised in medicine and nursing since she was an infant and learned it by osmosis....lol
I know this is long..hope it helps.....happy to talk with you more.....

I loved the picture you painted...such a wonderful thing to have 2 people care about each other & support each other that way. I remember going to LPN school & working 24-36 hrs on the weekends...my husband & I had 2 young children then, he worked full time also. In doing prereqs for my RN, I worked full time nights @ a hospital, part-time evenings @ a nursing home, & went to a community college during the day carrying 12-16hrs a semester. I finished my prereqs in 3 semesters. My husband worked days & stayed home with our then 3 kids then. It was very hard. Now for various reasons, I'm doing the last leg of my RN online. I work full-time nights, so it's actually better this way.@inpatientlywaiting, just remember that prayer changes things, have alot of patience & use any free time wisely...yes family is very important...you & your husband be pillars of support for each other & keep your eyes on the prize. Also remember that children are very strong & resilient creatures. You all will make it through this. This too shall pass.

allnurses Guide · Aug 2, 2011

I agree with Trauma. It is nearly impossible to work and goto CRNA school. Most of SRNAS that I have heard of that do work only work between semesters/Christmas break etc.

We were told in school to set one day a week aside for family even if it is only a couple of hours. Get out of the house every Friday night/Saturday or whenever, but try to do something small together every week. A lot also depends on if the program is front loaded(all the academics up front) or an integrated program. Each has their advantages and disadvantages, but front loaded program kept me busy up front but allowed more downtime towards the end of the program.

As a side note, you cannot compare nurse anesthesia programs to other programs on time commitment. I went to a university where we shared classes with medical students, and overall their schedule/downtime was much better than ours. Medical school maybe more academically challenging but the curriculum is well thought out and spaced out. Nurse anesthesia programs give you massive amounts of knowledge over a time period that even the smartest people have trouble remembering.

It will be frustrating, but you guys can do it.

inpatientlywaiting · Aug 2, 2011

Thanks so much. It's so helpful to hear from someone who has been through the program. Bad do have friends who have been through it, but I wondered if even just a little bit, they were sympathizing with my husband. They are all colleges of his from the PICU. Knew them too, but not as well... We will make it work. Thanks everyone for your well wishes and those who gave helpful advice!!