"And it's all going to be your fault"

Published

You know, I've been thinking....

Dangerous pastime, apparently, because the more I think about this, the madder I get. I am not doing my blood pressure any favors here.

I have been a member for a while now, read these threads even before I became a member, and I have noticed a disturbing trend. I am wondering if anyone else has as well.

It all our fault.

I don't care what happens, who does it, who causes it, the nurse gets blamed. Management backs up the customer-cum-patient, admin backs up the managers, HR backs up the admin.

So, I dreamed this little warning label of sorts up for all those wide-eyed, fresh-faced nurses-to-be out there. I wish someone had told me what I was getting myself into.

Dear Soon-to-Be Nurse:

A Friendly Warning. It's all going to be your fault.

After school, you'll get a job. You'll be ready to take on the world. Get ready. It's coming.

You'll get asked for medical advice by every family member, friend, relation, acqaintance, and person you don't even know that gets wind that you are a nurse. One of 4 things will happen:

1) You will advise them, they will not follow the advice. They will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

2)You will tell them that you would rather not advise them, that they need to consult their regular doc. They won't do it amd that won't get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

3) You will advise them and the advice will not help and the y will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

4) You will advise them, they will get well, pass along the advice to a friend, who had a DIFFERENT problem, and he will not get well. And it's all going to be your fault.

You will go to work. You'll go in to meet your patients for the day (or night). You'll smile and be perky. They will complain because they just found out that they have a dreaded disease and they don't want to be smiled at. And it's all going to be your fault.

You'll go in to see your next patient, still upset by the reaction of your first, and are a little less upbeat. They will complain because they have had a bad day and they think that their nurse should be happy just to serve them. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor did not order the pain medicine that Patient Number 3 ordered because the patient is a known drug abuser who is only in for his fix. The doctor explicitly states in his orders that he is not to be called for orders for pain. That patient refuses to accept this. And it's all going to be your fault.

Patient Number 4 is NPO, and Aunt Katie can not understand why he can not have something to eat. After all, he's hungry, and you are starving him to death. All the other nurses fed him. You're just mean. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor comes in to see Patient 4 and finds him wolfing down pizza that Aunt Katie brought him because she knows what he needs better that you do. They snuck the pizza in as you were coding Patient 5. Patient 4 now has to reschedule his surgery since he ate. And it's all going to be your fault.

The doctor will call the supervisor to tell her how incompetently run this floor is and how no one ever does what they are supposed to do. The supervisor will pacify the doctor and the patients and family. She will tell you to be more careful in how you present yourself, because the patients perception of you, while not measurable, is important. Never mind that you have done everything by the book, to the letter, and that, Oh yes, nuber 5 is alive, thank you. No, no, we have to work on our image and smile, smile, smile, (except around patient 1) even though you may have just herniated your umbilicus doing compressions, because our patients have a perception. And if it goes to heck, it's all going to be YOUR fault.

No, the above did not happen. Maybe I am just jaded. That's why I got away from the bedside, and why I am getting my NP. I want to be a manager that has my nurse's back. That will say, "No, Mr. Loudmouth, you may NOT have 4 cheeseburgers. You may NOT call my nurses foul names. You may NOT help yourself to any and everything on this floor like it was your own personal mini-mart." If I ever acted the way I have seen some sups act, "Well just watch how you present yourself.", I would hope someone smacked me!

Flame me if you want to. I really do think newbies should be warned about things. I think they should be trained how to handle it, not sold up the river. Maybe this would also help with the shortage. Just maybe. Thanks.:D

Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Once, on Super Bowl Sunday, I had a patient and his entire "entourage" onto me because they could not pick up the appropriate channel for their super bowl party.

This is one of the advantages of being 6' 2", 2XX lbs, have the ability to raise one eyebrow higher than a flag on a pole, snarl ever-so-slightly, and say in a baritone growl,

"What do you want me to do about it?"

Party's over!

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

For every bitter anecdote any of you have, I can reply with ten stories of ways in which nurses improve and save lives every single day.

That's great, but not the point of the thread. I'm glad you've had so many positive experiences. Some of us aren't that lucky. I don't think we are necessarily bitter, we're just telling it like it is.

Specializes in PCT - ER, Ortho, Neuro, Med-Surg.
That's great, but not the point of the thread. I'm glad you've had so many positive experiences. Some of us aren't that lucky. I don't think we are necessarily bitter, we're just telling it like it is.

I have the same experiences the rest of you have. I see the same nasty patients, deal with the same egotistical doctors, suffer under the same weak management as the rest of you. And for a hell of a lot less money or recognition as a tech who is at least two years away from an R.N. license.

Listen, I'm not lucky, I'm just empathetic. I've been paralyzed, I've been drunk, I've been stupid, I've had a sick child, I've had a hurt friend who didn't speak English....I've just been there and done that on the other side of enough situations to understand that there is always a story worth listening to if I'm open to it.

So what if I help someone who is an easy patient who needs almost no care or assistance and is pleasant in our every encounter? The real magic is in helping the patients who make you want to bang your head on the pixus or in turning around the unreasonable family member who everyone else has written off.

You are telling it like it is as you see it. So am I. Fair enough?

Blowing off a little steam every now and then is something we all need to do....as long as it doesn't become the rule rather than the exception, IMHO.

That said, I recognize that this thread was started with the intent to give folks who wanted to commisurate a safe and comfortable place to vent. I didn't mean to intrude, and I can see that I did.

:(

I apologize and I'll bow out of this one.

Specializes in PCT - ER, Ortho, Neuro, Med-Surg.

Too late to edit my last response, but I did want to say I regret using the word "bitter" at the end of my first post in this thread, a post that was meant to be positive and uplifting. I was just writing off the cuff and "bitter" wasn't in the spirit of what I was trying to say. I would have probably been offended if the shoe was on the other foot.

I hope I haven't killed your thread.

Shari

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

You haven't killed it, I can assure you. Hey, I'm an Alabama girl, too, and my Daddy likes to tell me that the only time I open my mouth is to change feet. It happens. Don't sweat it. You've got your opinion, we've all got ours, and there's bound to be a difference somewhere along the line. Keeps it interesting.

Specializes in FNP, Peds, Epilepsy, Mgt., Occ. Ed.
What, you mean you didn't offer to stand on the roof, wrapped in aluminum foil and holding a coat hanger in each hand? SHAME!!!! :D I can just see some entitled patient sticking his head out the window, "Go to the left. No, your OTHER left. A little more. Now, back a little. Pick your foot up. Lean back. THERE! RIGHT THERE!. Now, hold that."

The mental picture I get from this one is just way too funny!!!! :yeah:

Specializes in PCT - ER, Ortho, Neuro, Med-Surg.
You haven't killed it, I can assure you. Hey, I'm an Alabama girl, too, and my Daddy likes to tell me that the only time I open my mouth is to change feet. It happens. Don't sweat it. You've got your opinion, we've all got ours, and there's bound to be a difference somewhere along the line. Keeps it interesting.

Agreed. And thank you!

:cheers:

Specializes in Infusion Nursing, Home Health Infusion.

There are some sickening managers that think the pt is always right no matter what. I say be prepared to get blamed and prepare yourself. Tell yourself that you will not take abuse on the job and take appropriate action based upon the situation. There are many strategies I have learned over the years. There are wonderful courses on NURSE ABUSE and I have been known to slide these courses and articles under a supervisors door (sign your name or not) Either way they will get the picture. Something happened to me on my last birthday and I said I do not have to take this _ _ _ _ anymore so i don't but have a specific strategy in mind. Often abusive pts are just waiting for someone to set some limits. Of course there is my favorite, "if you stop cursing and cooperate I will start your IV so you can get your pain medicine" and oh how well behaved they suddenly become

Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Often abusive pts are just waiting for someone to set some limits.

That's true. It's amazing how well you can get along with someone with a personality disorder once that person understands where your boundaries are.

Of course, you go home at the end of your shift, the next nurse lets that patient walk all over her/him, and you have to start all over again when you come back the next day.

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

Just felt the need to resurrect this thread. Had this happen to me last week. I am working occupational, and we are closing this plant. All the retiree records need to be catalogued and typed and put in Excel, barcoded, then shipped. This is my project, because I like to do stuff like that.

Friday, I typed a total of 22 boxes of records,after I alphabetized them. I started on Thursday, and was done before lunch on Friday.

Apparently, I did a bit too well, because I was reprimanded! TPTB want to make the work last, so I was told "Do about 100 charts, take a nap, do 100 more." In other words, goof off.

So, in essence, I went to work, did my job, did it well, did better than expected, and got more done than they wanted.

And it was all my fault. For doing what I was paid to do. You just can't win.

I kid you not...My instructor just stood in the classroom last week and made mention to that...I thought it was crazy for a minute until I logged on and read this post...She also said "afterall, it is the nurses who spends 99.99% of the time with the patient"....

Specializes in med-surg, psych, ER, school nurse-CRNP.

OK, resurrection time again. I have graduated NP school and am training as I wait to sit my test. I am at a Family Practice/Internal Medicine clinic, working with a doc that owns 2 clinics.

I was at work the other day, and a patient needed refills, and stated "I'll need samples on those 2." One was a cholesterol medication, the other was Provigil. He had no insurance.

I am not uncaring, and we DO give samples quite regularly to folks, but at this clinic, we did not HAVE any Provigil samples, and as a trainee, I could not write for ANYTHING, and my preceptor, another NP, could not write for it either, since it is a controlled drug. We had samples at the other clinic, but it was closed.

I told the fellow this, and he was incensed.

"You mean I'll have to PAY for it?!?!? Do you know how much they cost?!?!?!"

"Well, sir, the other clinic will be open on Monday, and you're welcome to come for samples then."

"Naw, I guess I'll just have to have a wreck."

:banghead:

+ Join the Discussion