Quit or get fired?

Nurses General Nursing

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I find myself at my first job on a unit where constant complaining and talking behind each other's backs is the norm. I have tried to resist joining in because I don't want to get caught up in the negativity.

After being on orientation for four out of twelve weeks, (and working under SIX different preceptors, due to schedule issues), I'm being told I have great skills but concescending attutude - no specifics.

I'm shocked because I thought everything was fine. Everyone is nice to my face, but I guess they are talking trash about me.

Is it better to quit this soon or possibly be told it's not a good fit during the next eight weeks? How will it effect my chances of getting another job either way?

Specializes in CCU, SICU, CVSICU, Precepting & Teaching.

i've been a nurse for a long time (three decades) in various hospitals across the us. i've never encountered a workplace that was completely free of whining, ********, backstabbing or cliques. i'm not convinced that they exist, even. advising a newbie to change jobs because she's encountered the above may not be the best advice. i'd advise her to give it some time -- there are no perfect jobs or perfect workplaces or perfect preceptors or even perfect people.

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
i've never encountered a workplace that was completely free of whining, ********, backstabbing or cliques. i'm not convinced that they exist, even.

i agree

advising a newbie to change jobs because she's encountered the above may not be the best advice.

you're probably right, but i had a similar experience after i'd been out of school a few years - so many similarities between the situation the op described and mine that it literally sent shivers down my spine when i read it - and i was put through hell as a result.

a new nurse probably does not have a well-developed bs detector. my naivete led to a very bitter experience - one that more than ten years later still pains me to think about.

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych.

Sounds good. You have a better preceptor, and you're looking around. New grad jobs sometimes are hard to find. Stay with it and continue to learn, but watch for hints that problems are brewing.

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You're probably right, but I had a similar experience after I'd been out of school a few years - so many similarities between the situation the OP described and mine that it literally sent shivers down my spine when I read it - and I was put through hell as a result.

A new nurse probably does not have a well-developed BS detector. My naivete led to a very bitter experience - one that more than ten years later still pains me to think about.

I can relate as well. My nightmarish first job, where I was forced to resign by the evil head nurse (I described this in my previous post) haunted me for a long, long time and severely affected my professional confidence.

OP needs to be very careful and quit as soon as (note I didn't say if) the situation deteriorates again, or as soon as she finds something else.

DeLana

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
...I was forced to resign by the evil head nurse (I described this in my previous post) haunted me for a long, long time and severely affected my professional confidence.

Thanks,

Yeah, the evil head nurse - that's a lot more kind than what I used to call her.

It has been a real challenge for me over the past - how ever many years it has been - to accept Christ's command to forgive. I still feel hurt and angry.

Several years ago I learned that I had to let go of my anger because the only thing it was doing was holding me back from growing both as a person and as a nurse.

Over the years I have come to see the 'evil head nurse' as less evil and more pathetic - a very sad person who used her authority to control and hurt other people - I wasn't the only one.

I used to wonder how I would react if I ever ran into her again. Now I think I'd just grin & say hello. It's very hard for me not to feel malice towards her.

Cognitively, I know that I really won that battle because I walked away with my integrity intact - she lied. I forced her to unmask herself in front of her colleagues and superiors - to show the face that I saw behind closed doors.

I definitely could have handled the situation better. I learned a very difficult lesson - I also learned who my friends were, and that you can't trust nursing administration.

Peace.

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Had a "progress" meeting with the NM and new preceptor which was very open and honest and went well.

I was totally assured that if I was headed for failure at the end of orientation, I would see it coming a mile off. So that made feel better, because I was afraid I would end up suddenly out of a job d/t "bad fit".

(would give more details, but want to remain anon)

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Specializes in Med-Surg, Psych.

Want to remain anonymous so I won't go into detail about my personal experiences. Just want to warn you that hospital managers/staff are notorious liars, and meetings such as you had don't mean squat. Watch your back and continue to look around in case the situation looks like it's getting bad again or you are caught off guard getting fired.

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Had a "progress" meeting with the NM and new preceptor which was very open and honest and went well.

I was totally assured that if I was headed for failure at the end of orientation, I would see it coming a mile off. So that made feel better, because I was afraid I would end up suddenly out of a job d/t "bad fit".

(would give more details, but want to remain anon)

Did they mention the possibility of failure, or did you ask about it? If the former, be very careful! A new grad is never expected to "fail" orientation (IMO, the failure is theirs of not orienting you properly; but they would never admit it).

I know this must sound very discouraging, and although nobody warned me when it happened to me 10 years ago, I probably would have refused to believe it. Why? This simply should not be happening when you're doing everything right. Nurses should not be eating their young (but they do) or their own (they do that, too).

I wish you the very best, I really do, but please be very, very careful. If anything at all makes you feel uncomfortable (listen to your intuition - I felt that something was up, not quite right, but refused to take action) the only safe thing to do is to leave quickly (before you get fired or forced to quit).

Thanks for keeping us updated.

DeLana

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I had to learn this the hard way: People at work are never your friends, especially when you are the new kid on the block. People that I would have swore would never stab me in the back, have.

That is true for any place that you work.

I would immediately implement the following:

1. Don't hang around with anyone that has a reputation of being a troublemaker or a gossip....the impression to management is that you share their views or that you are just like them....whether you do or not.

2. When you are in a "group" where the conversation is getting gossipy or starts bashing the hospital...walk away.

3. Be OVERLY respectful to senior staff. This will get you a long way. I don't like to eat crow either (it's never on my diet), but it can fix a bad situation. Offer to help...don't wait to be asked.

4. Be quiet for awhile...if you say anything, make sure it is complimentary and in front of other people so they can hear it.

5. Understand that you'll never get specifics about a negative attitude. It may be that they feel you are not listening to advice.

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Specializes in neuro, ICU/CCU, tropical medicine.
Be OVERLY respectful to senior staff.

Good advice!

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Did they mention the possibility of failure, or did you ask about it? If the former, be very careful! A new grad is never expected to "fail" orientation (IMO, the failure is theirs of not orienting you properly; but they would never admit it).

I know this must sound very discouraging, and although nobody warned me when it happened to me 10 years ago, I probably would have refused to believe it. Why? This simply should not be happening when you're doing everything right. Nurses should not be eating their young (but they do) or their own (they do that, too).

I wish you the very best, I really do, but please be very, very careful. If anything at all makes you feel uncomfortable (listen to your intuition - I felt that something was up, not quite right, but refused to take action) the only safe thing to do is to leave quickly (before you get fired or forced to quit).

Thanks for keeping us updated.

DeLana

I brought it up, not the preceptor or NM.

So far, so good. I have several written weekly evals from the new preceptor that are all positive.

It's hard to constantly watch everything I do and say, though. I'm trying to do the best job possible, and I just forget to be concerned about how I'm being perceived... I sometimes think out loud, and say things that I know come out differently than how I really meant them...

I wish I had alternatives just in case, but there has been no interest in the other apps I put out.

A few more weeks...

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I recently underwent a similiar situation and it has left me full of doubt in my nursing career. Just like the staging of dying, you go through these same stages when you loose your job. I felt so betrayed and unappreciated. I am at the angry stage and have really had to do alot of praying and soul searching. I am also struggle to get that that confidence back, it was like being sucker punched in the stomach and having all the air knocked out of you. I was not happy and should have made a change along time ago and know it is a blessing in disguise but I can't help to resent how management handle the situation.

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