Quit or get fired?

[GGCC]

I find myself at my first job on a unit where constant complaining and talking behind each other's backs is the norm. I have tried to resist joining in because I don't want to get caught up in the negativity.

After being on orientation for four out of twelve weeks, (and working under SIX different preceptors, due to schedule issues), I'm being told I have great skills but concescending attutude - no specifics.

I'm shocked because I thought everything was fine. Everyone is nice to my face, but I guess they are talking trash about me.

Is it better to quit this soon or possibly be told it's not a good fit during the next eight weeks? How will it effect my chances of getting another job either way?

[GGCC]

"Fitting in" definitely seems to be as valued as skills.

That's been a big problem for me because the job is so hard that I don't have time to try to fit in - and don't really want to. That may appear to others as "attitude".

[BrokenRNheart]

Fitting in might be as simple as showing interest in the click. Put your Dale Carnegie hat on and good luck.

[whipping girl in 07, RN]

If I go to the manager, I'm afraid I will say too much. I don't think it's a good idea to tell her about all the negativity and trash talk I hear because she basically thinks she has a cohesive unit. I don't think she'll be open to it. I don't think she'll like hearing any criticism of my main preceptor, either. (Which would be that I need a more positive attitude from her, with suggestions, not just criticisms).

The cohesiveness comes from all the common bytching and backstabbing they do!

I work prn in a unit like that, and I've watched for 4.5 years what they've done to one of my co-workers. She keeps plugging along, she's been there forever. She was working prn in PICU and I hoped, for her sake, she would move there permanently. She's a good nurse, she's taught me a lot over the years, but the way they treat her, I just don't see how she stands it. And now that I've cut back my hours, I get some of the same treatment, especially from new nurses who assume that since I'm not there three or four days a week I don't know jack! They don't realize I work full time doing something else in nursing that I ADORE (much like I once adored ICU) and that I have a skill set that runs circles around theirs! But no matter...I show up those few days I'm scheduled, I work extra if I need the $$ or a favor and I know that the nurses I've actually worked with over the years value my presence and expertise and don't dump on me when they make the assignments. But there's a few 1-2 year-experience charge RNs on nights that are on my sh**list when they dump the crap on me that no one else wants because they lump me in with that "other" nurse I was talking about earlier. I've talked to a few of the other prn's and they are having the same problems too. And in 4.5 years, I've watched RNs who were given such a hard time by some hateful, spiteful "seasoned" RNs in my unit turn into those very witches they groused so much about. I've occasionally shocked myself with some things I've said and had to really look at my heart at eating my young. I've grown up, I think. I try to give people, all people, the benefit of the doubt until that person proves me otherwise...

Having said all that...it doesn't really hurt you as a newbie to admit that an area wasn't a good fit and move on to something else. If they can't give you specifics about your shortcomings, be very wary, they may just be "out to get you."

There is one thing, though...does the unit have a high turnover? If so, they may not be being very nice to you till they see if you're going to stay. A friend of mine recently went through just that as a Rx tech and my husband saw it a lot when he pipelined. "Why bother to be friendly or train this person if they're going to be gone in 3 months (days, weeks, etc) anyway?"

Good luck to you, whatever you decide. And try to line up something else before you leave, if you do. Makes those student loan payments much easier...

[medsurgrnco, BSN, RN]

Be wary of asking for details about your supposed shortcomings. Management will make up stuff to support their poor view of you. It won't necessarily be true, but will make you feel worse!

[Ms Kylee]

I had this when I first started as an aide on my floor. Two nurses just made my life on the floor a living Hell on earth. One got fired, and the other one is still around. The sad part is she is going back so she can teach, and with her attitude, she shouldn't be teaching. I'm nice to her, but once she realized I wasn't taking her guff, she pretty much leaves me alone, and tries to make small talk with me. Course, I'm too busy for that, so I say things like "I'd love to talk to you XXX, but I have to get XYZ done right now."

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

Leave. Life is too short and nursing is too stressful to work in this toxic environment. I agree that your being new to the unit is not a black mark now. I would site the constant change in preceptors and get out. This sounds like a set up to me. Good luck.

[jjjoy, LPN]

Be wary of asking for details about your supposed shortcomings. Management will make up stuff to support their poor view of you. It won't necessarily be true, but will make you feel worse!

I hadn't thought of that, but what a good point! As a newbie, it's difficult to know how much weight to give the feedback you get - to determine if it's valid or not. It's a very tough position to be in. Maybe that's why it takes so many new nurses two or three tries to make a job work. It's not just finding "a good fit" but also getting enough experience and exposure to have a better idea of how to evaluate feedback and if certain criticism means that you as a new nurse are seriously lacking something or if it's just the standard "not fast enough, not good enough" criticisms that no one lives up to, especially when they're new.

Now toss into that the fact some managers/colleagues may overemphasize areas of weakness in order to justify letting a newbie go who isn't "fitting in." Ugh!

[bluesnurse]

Leave. Life is too short and nursing is too stressful to work in this toxic environment. I agree that your being new to the unit is not a black mark now. I would site the constant change in preceptors and get out. This sounds like a set up to me. Good luck.

I absolutely agree.

I was completely *stunned* to get a negative 1-year evaluation for a job that I took after a 2000-mile move (hubby was transferred.) My manager said I was "unenthusiastic and unmotivated." I asked her why it took her a year to tell me this. She had no answer, but said, "perception equals reality." The truth was I did not "fit in" with her and her clique for reasons I will not go into for the sake of political correctness.

Fortunately I was able to transfer to a different position in the same system. I did well enough there to eventually get out of that company completely without a big black mark in my references (and the second time around, I was vigilant about watching my back!)

Get out now. Don't wait, even with the preceptor change ... we are all entitled to a "bad fit" or two, but the sooner you recognize it and move on, the sooner you will find a place where you belong. There is backstabbing everywhere but you do not have to tolerate being jerked around when you are not even out of orientation.

Best wishes to you!

[aeauooo]

Deja vu!

Man, that happened to me once and I got burned severely.

RUN! Before they take you off at the knees!

[RN BSN 2009]

Apply at other places and just tell them that this unit wasn't your niche and that you want to pursue better opportunities!

[barefootlady, ADN, RN]

So has there been a decision yet?

[GGCC]

Unless I'm completely misreading the situation, it seems to continue to improve.

The new preceptor has been very encouraging and has given more useful feedback.

I've also applied other places, but had no "bites". I don't want to leave without another job - afraid of financial suicide.