I'm getting married soon, between this semester and the summer semester! My fiance has been so understanding and supportive throughout me being in school. I'm very thankful for that!
I guess I just want some advice, stories, or tips on how you make things work in your marriage while you are in school.
What are some of the biggest challenges?
How understanding is your husband/wife?
Do you take a day off from studying to spend time with your husband/wife?
How long have you been married?
and the biggest question....Has anyone else gotten married during school?
Guilt. Guilty feelings for not studying as much as I should because I want to be around the house with my kids and hubby. Guilty feelings for not being there when I do study. Knowing that our lives have been on hold for almost 2 years.. Missing my baby growing into a toddler.
Right now my major challenge is having major seniorities.
How understanding is your husband/wife?
Depends on the day. Last semester I took OB/Peds/Psych and was at school/clinicals all day everyday, even on the weekends (for psych). My husband was horrible. He picked fights, made me feel like sh*t, wouldn't help around the house. I would beg for his help. He would make passive-agressive remarks questioning what I was 'really' doing. It seemed like because he had no control over what I was doing and was out of "my loop" he took control elsewhere. This semester is my last and he's been great. I think he realized it was all only short term. ..wish he would have realized it a lot sooner!!!
I think some of it was he was so used to me cleaning, taking care of the kids, doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE. When *I* needed support he didn't know how.
Do you take a day off from studying to spend time with your husband/wife?
Yes. We would try to spend fridays together for semesters 1 and 2. Last semester there was no time. This semester we're back to our Friday dates. He's off work, older boy is in school, and we drop the baby off at the sitters for a few hours.
How long have you been married?
9 years in May. I'm 26, he's 28. We have two sons ages 7 and 2. When he was 5 he told my mom he was going to marry me. We have a lot of history and have had a really hard time growing up together. All in all he is my best friend and definitely the love of my life.
and the biggest question....Has anyone else gotten married during school?
Not me... One of my study-buddies is getting married this summer before she goes into the BSN program.
I wish you the best of luck! I hope it works out great for you! :heartbeat
my husband and i will be celebrating our 23rd anniversary next week, so not newly married by any sense, and we have nine kids together (all 9 of them are both of ours so no blended family here). not sure if my answers will apply to what you are looking for but will give them anyhow. i already have been to school a few times - have a bachelors and masters degree in education and also went to massage school so we have been through this more than once (oh yes and we were married when he was working on his degree many years ago as well).
what are some of the biggest challenges? spending time with one another has been our biggest challenge because between school and kids and us being on opposite shifts it leaves little time for "us" time.
how understanding is your husband/wife? my husband is the most understanding person i know, but then again i knew that from the very start. he is so supportive. i started out being interested in education and like i said worked on those degrees and then when i was working on my masters degree found doula work which really interested me. i started pursue that while finishing my degree and then after i graduated decided that i really just wanted to do birth work and then added postpartum doula work, childbirth education, massage therapy and a few other things and now nursing. it was actually my husband who suggested i go back because he saw my passion had changed and after i gave birth to our youngest 15 months ago he suggested i make the change and so i did.
do you take a day off from studying to spend time with your husband/wife? no i don't. if i have homework to do i do it and we manage to fit time in together around our crazy schedules.
how long have you been married? it will be 23 years on the 23rd of this month.
and the biggest question....has anyone else gotten married during school?[i didn't get married during school, but when i was working on my bachelor's degree the first time i had two pregnancies / babies - that was so much harder :)
like someone else said, sometimes it feels like you are roommates! he's gone 2-12pm and by then i'm usually in bed by the time he gets home, if i have early a.m class. then of course i'm getting up and he's still sleeping. the longest we've gone is 4 days with out seeing each other awake.
as others have mentioned-guilt. its really hard for me to depend on him for so much. luckily we dont have kids, but i hardly work, so he pays for 99% of everything. i've always been independent so having to rely on someone to get by, is really hard.
in skimming through the other posts, i didn't see it mentioned, but our sex life is taking a back seat to class, studying, and sleep.
how understanding is your husband/wife?
super understanding! we both do chores when we can, but there are many times when our house will be dirty for 3 or 4 days until one of us has time to clean. as for cooking he helps out a lot, but since neither of us are home often we eat a lot of easy foods like frozen pizza, macncheese, frozen lasagna.
do you take a day off from studying to spend time with your husband/wife?
i do. my husband is off on thursdays and fridays so as long as i dont have a test on friday then i devote both of those days to him and my friends. every week is different, but one thing i've found is that since we don't see each other all the time, we really get a chance to miss each other and i think it helps us appreciate each other even more.
how long have you been married?
3 years and 4 months. i was 21 and he was 22. we were together for 2 years before we got married and moved in together about 5 months before the wedding.
.has anyone else gotten married during school?
i wasn't actually in nursing school when we got married, but i was taking pre-reqs. it was pretty stressful and i actually ended dropping a few classes that semester. i was an idiot though and got married in the middle of the semester. i do know tons of people who have done it and had no problems though!
I got married in November of 2006, right in the middle of the semester, during pre-reqs. I was pregnant with our first child first semester of clinicals, and then delivered in the middle of the second semester. Yeah....not only am I a glutton for punishment, but I have an EXTREMELY understanding spouse!
For us, he knew what he was getting into when we got married when we did. We had been living together for a year and a half too, which probably helped since he already knew what to expect. He's very supportive of all that I do in general, and I am very blessed to have him. Now that I am working a crazy schedule as an RN (I rotate days/nights, 40 hours a week), he continues to be very supportive an understanding. Throw into the mix that I am pregnant again.....yeah, he does a lot of cooking/cleaning/laundry/shuttling our daughter to daycare...
It will work if you and your spouse are on the same page about making it work. I can say though, if you have different priorities (for example, you want to be in school or work full time, but he really wants a housewife), things will go south, and go south quickly.
Specializes in Emergency Dept. Trauma. Pediatrics.
Been married for 11 years this summer. Together for 12.
Not sure how supportive he has been, he isn't exactly the supportive type. I mean he does pay all the bills, he does what I tell him with the kids most times, but he doesn't actively help on his own. Like he won't see me studying for a test and think to help with the kids.
I do make plenty of time with him. We try to have date night every 2 weeks. We will curl up on the couch and watch movies, and so on. I never allowed school to take over my life. I spend enough time in class and clinical, I am not going to spend all my free time doing it too.
@JROregon: Oh goodness....we will definitely do everything in our power to not add kids to the mix until about 3 or 4 years of marriage!
@Emilynn09: SO happy to hear that you have wonderful support from your husband! Planning hasn't been too stressful at all...It's been mostly fun & easy. I did have a meltdown yesterday though... And my mom and future mother-in-law has been helping out tons. Honestly, my grades have been better this semester than the past two. I think that the added pressure of planning this wedding and school has pushed me to work harder!
@2011NursingStudent: Aw, that's great! Congrats & best wishes! :) There's a great wedding planning website that I LOVE...If you message me on here I can send you the link if you want!
@Pamelala: Thank you for sharing!
@momto9kidlets: WOW! Go you for handling all of that, and congrats on 23 years of marriage!
@afox: Yeah, that would be VERY tough to get married in the middle of a semester. I will have my final the 11th, get married the 14th, and start my fourth semester on the 31st. We will have a week honeymoon, plus a week together before I go back!
i worked from home before going into nursing school so me not being there has been a big change. in addition to school, i work 2 part time jobs so i'm pretty much gone from 7:30am-10:00pm m-sat. he works 12:00pm-8:00pm. he is now responsible for getting dinner together and doing alot of the household duties. he doesn't always want to but he understands the stress i'm under and does it anyways...lol.
how understanding is your husband/wife?
my husband is very understanding of me being in school. he knows how much better our lives will be when i am graduated. it's a true give and take situation.
do you take a day off from studying to spend time with your husband/wife?
sunday is "date day". we spend the whole day together doing things around the house or going out for dinner/movie. i normally devote a few hours if i can a night before bed to hang out.
how long have you been married?
been married for 2 1/2 years. been together off and on for 12 years. i'm 25 and he's 26.
and the biggest question....has anyone else gotten married during school?
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W'sMama
58 Posts
What are some of the biggest challenges?
Guilt. Guilty feelings for not studying as much as I should because I want to be around the house with my kids and hubby. Guilty feelings for not being there when I do study. Knowing that our lives have been on hold for almost 2 years.. Missing my baby growing into a toddler.
Right now my major challenge is having major seniorities.
How understanding is your husband/wife?
Depends on the day. Last semester I took OB/Peds/Psych and was at school/clinicals all day everyday, even on the weekends (for psych). My husband was horrible. He picked fights, made me feel like sh*t, wouldn't help around the house. I would beg for his help. He would make passive-agressive remarks questioning what I was 'really' doing. It seemed like because he had no control over what I was doing and was out of "my loop" he took control elsewhere. This semester is my last and he's been great. I think he realized it was all only short term. ..wish he would have realized it a lot sooner!!!
I think some of it was he was so used to me cleaning, taking care of the kids, doing EVERYTHING for EVERYONE. When *I* needed support he didn't know how.
Do you take a day off from studying to spend time with your husband/wife?
Yes. We would try to spend fridays together for semesters 1 and 2. Last semester there was no time. This semester we're back to our Friday dates. He's off work, older boy is in school, and we drop the baby off at the sitters for a few hours.
How long have you been married?
9 years in May. I'm 26, he's 28. We have two sons ages 7 and 2. When he was 5 he told my mom he was going to marry me. We have a lot of history and have had a really hard time growing up together. All in all he is my best friend and definitely the love of my life.
and the biggest question....Has anyone else gotten married during school?
Not me... One of my study-buddies is getting married this summer before she goes into the BSN program.
I wish you the best of luck! I hope it works out great for you! :heartbeat